07 July 2017 @ 04:13 pm
Title : Reading between the lines
Author: Andy-chan ([personal profile] antimiya88 )
Pairings: Matsumiya, Sakuraiba (side), Ohmiya (???)
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst
Rating: R
Summary: When Jun asked his boyfriend, Nino, to move in with him he was sure that he had found happiness. Nino was as if he was sent like a present to him, as if they were meant to be together. Everything seemed perfect till the moment Jun went to Nino's bedroom to be sure the other hadn't forgotten anything. That day they would finally start a new chapter in their relationship, in their very own apartment. There was a box at the back of Nino's wardrobe. Inside there were letters, all written and sent from the same person; Ohno Satoshi. Jun would never forget this name. He was Nino's ex-boyfriend. According to Nino they were of no importance; old... but how can a letter sent two weeks ago be considered old?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys, unfortunately.




 
Written for [personal profile] learashi  's Wish Meme!

 


 
 

 





Part 2


Jun frowned as he opened his eyes. His whole body felt numb as he had slept in a weird sitting position on the floor, his back still leaning against the sofa. He hadn’t realized how he had ended up falling asleep last night. Everywhere around him there were boxes. Of course… this was supposed to be his and Nino’s apartment. Nino’s… He felt a knot at the back of his throat. Why had he let himself be deceived? He felt stupid; naïve. His eyes fell on his phone, left on the floor a few centimeters away from him. He opened it with a trembling hand. There were more than thirty missed calls from Nino. There was also a text but he couldn’t read who the sender was… his eyesight was too blurry to be able to see the letters on the screen. He didn’t need to read, though… he already knew.

 

He looked around… This place from paradise had turned into hell. Everything reminded him of him… of the fake happiness he had believed in… and he couldn’t stand it. Above the small fireplace there was a photo of the two of them; him holding Nino by his waist, a wide smile making his face look brighter… In the next minute, a sound of breaking glass pierced the air as the photo frame was thrown with force on the floor. Jun clenched his hand into a fist as he landed a punch on the wall. He couldn’t stay any longer in that apartment; not when everything in there was about them.

 

He hastily put on his shoes and opened the door when he almost stumbled on something or more correctly, someone. His eyes bulged. What was he doing there? Why was he there? Since when was he there? The questions kept coming into Jun’s mind who wasn’t in position to give any satisfactory explanation. The man in front of him was curled up like a ball outside the door, his back leaning against the wall. He looked like an abandoned puppy… Jun’s heart clenched. Why was he making it so difficult for him? He wished he was strong enough to close the door behind him and leave but he knew he couldn’t… not when all he wanted to do was to take the other in his arms and never let him go…

 

He took a deep breath and kneeled close to Nino who was still asleep. Jun could see stains of dry tears on his face and dark cycles under his eyes. He placed his palm on the other’s forehead gasping at its coldness. 

 

“Just what the hell are you doing, idiot?!” the words came out as a murmur but betrayed his worry. How couldn’t he worry about Nino? He loved him too much not to.

 

It was obvious that the other had spent outside the apartment hours… Jun shook his head and took the other in his hands, princess-like. He put him carefully on the sofa and looked for something to cover him. He opened one of the boxes that were labeled as kitchen stuff and took out a mug. Luckily, he had already made sure to fill the apartment with the basic food supplies.

 

He put some water to the kettle to boil it and observed the other who was still sleeping on the sofa. That image was so familiar to Jun… The times he’d spend simply looking at Nino weren’t few. They usually made him smile. This time, though, it made him feel sad, empty.

 

It was only when the kettle made its characteristic sound that he heard noises coming from the living room. He put the boiled water into the mug and went to see how the other was.

 

His heart was thumping in his chest when he saw Nino looking at him with red, swollen eyes. “Jun…”

 

“Drink this and better stay warm since you were this stupid to spend the night on the floor outside the door…” Jun spoke in a harsher tone than he had intended to but he couldn’t help it. He was hurt… deeply hurt.

 

He saw Nino lowering his head defeated. He could see how the latter’s shoulders were making small moves… he was crying and Jun wanted to take him into his arms, whisper words of love and assurance but he couldn’t.

 

“Drink it before it gets cold…” this time, Jun’s voice sounded weaker, trembling.

 

The other took the mug into his hands and sipped some of the hot tea, avoiding any eye contact.

 

“What are you doing here, Nino?”

 

“I wanted to talk to you…”

 

“About how I’m not allowed to call you Kazu?”

 

Nino gasped and bit his lower lip. Guilt was portrayed all over his face.

 

“Jun, about that… I-”

 

Jun didn’t give him the chance to speak. He raised his hand as a signal for the other to hush. “Listen. I’m really not in the mood for discussing things about… him…

 

“But…” Nino sounded desperate.

 

Jun looked at his ex (?) boyfriend and sighed heavily. “Finish your tea. I’ll think about it.”

 

Without looking at Nino, Jun left him and went to the bathroom. He tried not to but it was too hard for him. It was hurting him to think of Nino being with that Ohno, the same way it was hurting him to see him being at this state. He closed the door behind him and looked at himself in the mirror. He wasn’t in a better condition. Tiredness and sadness were too obvious. Should he give the other the chance to talk? He frowned. Was there anything to talk about? The letters were pretty clear… Their dates, as well. It was obvious that Nino and that Ohno Satoshi were exchanging letters in an almost weekly rate. The man who lived in Osaka had mentioned several times how much he missed his lover, the evenings that they passed in bed… It was too painful to even think about it. Let alone talk…

 

He didn’t know how much time he spent in the bathroom… All that he knew was how fast his heart was beating as he opened the door and made his way slowly to the living room. He didn’t know what to expect. Would the other have stayed or left? His eyes saw the small figure still there. Nino had chosen to stay…

 

“You’re here…” He mumbled before he could control himself. He couldn’t decide if he was happy about it or not.

 

“You wanted me to leave?” Nino whispered in a trembling, almost inexistent voice.

 

“I…” Jun tried to find the right answer but it seemed that his mind was blocked. “I honestly don’t know… I’m confused, Nino.” He muttered at the end and it was the truth.

 

Nino looked up at him with teary eyes. “If you want me to leave then I’ll leave, Jun…”

 

Jun didn’t reply immediately. The other was making it difficult for him and as the time was passing by it became worse.

 

“I… it’s not that… I just don’t know myself…”

 

“I-”

 

“I’ve been fooled in the past, Nino. I’ve been cheated on, Nino… and the funniest thing is that even when I caught that person with someone else in the bed, he acted as if it was nothing important… It wasn’t the same way for me though… It made me focus on my work… be reluctant to meet new people, yet you managed to win my interest, just to prove me how wrong I was…” Jun turned his head the other way, wanting to avoid the other’s eyes. He didn’t want to see them looking at him with pity.

 

“I… I didn’t know… I know that I’m fault… I am but please, Jun, let me expl-”

 

“I’ll only accept it, if you answer with a yes or no. I don’t want to have a conversation. I don’t think it’s needed. I have seen too many letters to need something more.” He turned his gaze to Nino who was looking at him with sad eyes. “But I would like you to be honest, even if I know it will only hurt me more…” he murmured and took a deep breath to regulate his breathing.

 

Nino lowered his head defeated. “Fine… As you wish…”

 

“Didn’t you write back to him all this time we were together?”

 

“Jun, I didn’t-”

 

“A yes or no.” Jun tried not to move when he saw the other sinking back at the corner of the sofa, as if it was possible to get smaller.

 

“Yes.” Nino whispered in the end with his head his head lowered and his eyes locked on his lap.

 

“Those weekends that supposedly you had to leave because of work, it wasn’t work, right?” Jun’s voice started trembling. “You were going to Osaka…”

 

“I…” It was obvious that Nino wanted to say more but Jun’s gaze made him realize that he wouldn’t have the chance. “Yes…”

 

“You told me that you didn’t want me to call you Kazu. Was it because of… him?

 

Nino lowered his head even more, resting his forehead on his palms. “Yes.”

 

“Then I think there’s nothing else for me to ask or say and you’ve got your answer to the question whether I want you to leave or stay.” He heard a gasp but had already his back turned on him. “Make sure you close the door behind.”

 

For several seconds, he heard nothing; neither words, nor steps.

 

“I’ll leave…” Jun got startled. He could feel that the other was standing right behind him, he could feel the hot breath of Nino hitting on his nape. “But before I leave I’ll reply two more questions. ‘Did you lie during our time together?’ No. And now, the last one… ‘Did you ever love me?’ Yes. I loved you and I continue to love you, Jun. Bye.”

 

Jun had closed his eyes. He heard slow steps towards the entrance, then the door opening. Silence. He knew the other was looking at him, probably hoping for a word… something. And then, a low bang. Nino had left. Jun felt his knees turning weak and let himself fall on the floor. “You may love me, Nino, but I was always the other one… always second… and that’s something I can’t accept.”

 

***

 

“You’re not drinking another one!”

 

Nino landed his fist on the bar, looking angrily at his friend with his glazed-from-the-alcohol eyes. “Aibaka, give me my drink and stop pretending the strict one! You are a bar tender. Your job is to prepare the drinks your clients ask you and pay for! I’m one of them, so hurry up and give it to me!”

 

Masaki sighed, shaking his head. “I am a bar tender, Nino, but I’m also an employee and as an employee, I have to listen to my boss’ instructions. When he says that I can’t offer a drink to a certain client, then I won’t, no matter how much this client insists!”

 

“Fuck you and your boss!” Nino growled as he tried to stand up from the bar stool with no success as his head was spinning around. He would have fallen, if it wasn’t for a pair of arms catch him at the right time.

 

“Masaki, can you close the bar with Naoki-kun? I think it’s about time I take Nino back to our apartment.”

 

“Of course. I think it’s the right thing to do. He’s about to faint…”

 

“No! I’m perfectly fine!” Nino yelled louder than before attracting several pairs of eyes to stare. In his state, though, it was easy not to realize anything, so he continued in the same tone. “You heard me?! I want is to drink more! Leave me, damn it!” he continued but his friends paid no attention to him.

 

Masaki sighed looking at the way his friend, completely wasted, struggled to get free from Sho’s grip. Why did you do that to yourself, Nino?! Why are you allowing to feel so much pain? Why do you allow all these people, here, make fun of you?! “You’ll be ok? You need help?”

 

“I can handle it! He doesn’t weight much anyway...” Sho said as he held the drunk man firmer by his waist.

 

“Ok, then. I’ll see you later, Sho.” Masaki’s eyes followed his boyfriend trying to take his drunk friend with him with difficulty. “Stupid Nino! I had told you this would happen!” he muttered under his breath and tried to focus on his job. He had to have a serious talk with his friend the following morning.

 

---

 

“C’mon, Nino… Three more steps…” Sho cursed inside as he was trying to drag Nino to his car. I should have asked Masaki’s help.

 

 

The other wasn’t yelling anymore. He was mumbling things that Sho couldn’t catch and was crying. Sho’s heart clenched. He didn’t know him as many years as Masaki but he had come to really like him and seeing him in this state wasn’t pleasant.

 

“Here, we are…” Sho said as he opened the door of his car and helped Nino sit. “Now, all I’m asking you is to try and not throw up till we reach the apartment, ok, Nino?”

 

“I won’t throw up… I’m not drunk enough…” Nino said with a trembling voice. “I still think of Jun… I still miss him…”


Sho didn’t know what to say to this. Sighing, he closed the door and hurried to the driver’s side. But he wasn’t the only one to not know what to say or even think about this. There was someone else who had been seeing the whole scene, hidden in the darkness of the shadows created by the lamps on the street.

 

This someone didn’t stop staring at the car that turned right at the first corner. He was confused… Why was the other this drunk? Why was he crying? Why had he said his name? Without even realizing what he was doing, he found himself walking towards the bar. He opened the door and the moment he stepped inside his gaze was met with that of the bartender. Did he want to be there? What for? Frowning, he was about to leave when he heard the other calling out his name.

 

“Jun-kun! Wait…”

 

Jun turned around and found the bartender standing close to him but said nothing.

 

“I need to talk to you…” the latter said in a worrying tone. Jun could see the need in the other’s eyes but didn’t know, if he really wanted to listen to what Masaki had to say. Masaki waited but soon, realized there was nothing but silence. “If you truly love Nino, we need to talk…”

 

“Truly love him…” Jun whispered, his head lowered. He did love him. If he didn’t, his heart wouldn’t clench at the sight of Nino looking like a shadow of himself.

 

“Jun-kun, listen to me. You’re right and wrong in the same time. Right because Nino owed to you to tell you the truth and wrong because you never gave him the chance to explain…”

 

“Explain to me what?! About how this Ohno Satoshi miss him? Or how about he’s the only one allowed to call him Kazu?!” Jun burst out. He loved Nino… he really did… but how could he accept that?

 

Masaki sighed. “Look… Ohno Satoshi may miss him, as you say, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he was missed by Nino, as well. As for the fact that he didn’t want you to call him Kazu, it doesn’t automatically mean that for him is something positive, precious that he needs to keep it like that… it may mean the exact opposite… it may be the fact that it reminds him of something or someone he wished to forget…”

 

Jun frowned. What was the bartender trying to imply? “Please… there are the letters… the last one is from almost two weeks ago…”

 

“I don’t doubt that… but never did it cross your mind the word ‘why’?! Why were they letters?! We live in an era that letters are considered at least, old-fashioned…”

 

“Others might say romantic…” Jun replied not wanting to admit that the other had a good reason. His heart was beating faster second after second.

 

“Nino never lied to you…The same way never did he play with you and your feelings behind your back. He’s suffering… It’s partly his fault but I can’t help feeling sorry for him…”

 

“He-”

 

“I know you saw him with Sho.” Masaki cut him off. “If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t come here, right now.” Jun lowered his head. “And you’re suffering, as well. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have stepped inside, Jun-kun.”

 

Jun was about to speak when one of the waiters came to Masaki to tell him something close to his ear.

 

“Look…” Masaki said once the waiter was gone. “I must go back to work but if you still care about Nino, you meet with me at Tokyo Shinkansen Station this Saturday at 7:30 in the morning.”

 

“What?”

 

“You heard me.” And with that Masaki left.

 

Jun was left staring at the other more confused than ever. Frowning he got out and let the air hit his face. What did Masaki mean? A part of him wanted to know but another one was afraid. He put his hands into the pockets of his jeans and started walking with heavy feet down the street. “Why were they letters?! We live in an era that letters are considered at least, old-fashioned…” “Nino never lied to you… The same way never did he play with you and your feelings behind your back…” “If you still care about Nino, you meet with me at Tokyo Shinkansen Station this Saturday at 7:30 in the morning.”

 

One by one the bartender’s phrases kept coming to his mind. He did care… There wasn’t a doubt for that but what was there in Osaka for him to see? Was it worth to take the risk? The other clearly was implying that things weren’t as they seemed. Was it that he was wrong? Nino had tried to explain… Masaki seemed to have things to explain. His feet suddenly stopped. “Nino…” he muttered under his breath as he turned his head up to the dark sky.

 

***

 

“Are you sure about this, Masaki?” Sho asked his boyfriend who had just lied next to him on the bed, after having checked on Nino who was sleeping on the futon in their living room.

 

“Yes. Nino was afraid that the other wouldn’t allow him to do that with Ohno-kun but I’m sure Jun-kun wouldn’t care if Nino explained the situation clearly to him. Nino pretends the strong one but always have doubts, sees threats where there aren’t… I had told him that his boyfriend loved him for real and that he had to trust him but he kept denying to tell him the truth. And what’s the result?! Him being like that in our living room!”

 

“But how can you be so sure about Jun-kun?”

 

“I was sure from the very first time Nino brought him to the bar. It was something he had never done and, if I could judge correctly, Jun hadn’t done it either… It was something strong with them. I’d dare to say karmic…”

 

“You think there’s hope?”

 

“If they decide to let aside stupid stubbornness and look truthfully into their hearts, then yes… I believe there is!”

 

“I hope your instinct proves you, right, Masaki…”

 

Masaki snuggled closer to his boyfriend, resting his head in the crook of Sho’s neck. “I hope so, too, Sho, because Nino deserves it; they both deserve it…”

 

“I know…” Sho whispered and pressed his lips softly on Masaki’s hair before he turned the lamp on his bedside table off. “Good night, my love…”

 

“Good night, Sho…”

 

***

 

“You’re on time I see!” Masaki said in a slightly enthusiastic tone once he saw Jun coming closer. “Do you want a coffee? A sandwich maybe? I always prefer to buy things from the station rather than on the train…”

 

Jun raised his eyebrow. Normally, he wasn’t in the mood for chit-chat in the mornings but that premised that he had slept. The truth was that he hadn’t. The new apartment was still the same way it had been since he had gone there after leaving Nino’s smaller one. The boxes were still everywhere. Everything was left packaged… apart from some clothes and basic ingredients to prepare lunch or dinner.

 

The whole night he was debating with himself whether he should go or not… Till the last minute, he wasn’t sure… Whatever Nino’s friend was saying, the other had chosen to keep it a secret from him… there must be a reason behind this decision and Jun, no matter how much he had tried, he couldn’t come up to decide upon it. Was it right for him to be there?

 

“Our platform is the 24th. C’mon… we better get going!” the bartender said once he had bought two coffees and two sandwiches, despite the lack of Jun’s answer to his previous question.

 

“The tickets?” Jun asked, not knowing how to react when he was handed his coffee and sandwich.

 

Masaki smiled widely. “They are already in my pocket! Consider them a small present from me! Now, hurry up!”

 

Jun was once again left speechless. Before he could say anything, he saw the other turning around and walking fast towards the escalator a few meters away. “C’mon, Jun-kun! Hurry up!”

 

Jun followed him silent.

 

It was only when they sat at their seats when Masaki spoke again. “Look, I know this must be pretty confusing but I promise you, you did the right thing! In less than four hours, your questions will be answered!”

 

Jun didn’t dare to say anything but deep inside he hoped the other was right…

 

---

 

Four hours later, Jun found himself getting out of the taxi more confused than ever. He had thought of many things but this…? No.

 

“Surprised?” Masaki said in a low voice without looking at him.

 

“What are we doing here?”

 

“We’re here to answer your questions…”

 

Jun frowned. Why would his questions be answered in a hospital?! He said nothing more though and followed the other inside. He heard Masaki asking for the rehabilitation center at one of the nurses at the reception and soon, found himself walking towards the north of the garden. Once they reached the building, they didn’t enter. Masaki led him to one of the windows and pointed inside.

 

“There…”

 

Jun looked and gasped. It was Nino who was helping along with one of the responsible ones a small-figured man who was limping quite badly. “Is this…?”

 

“Yes.” Masaki answered immediately. “This is Ohno Satoshi.”

 

“But I don’t understand…” Jun whispered his mind trying to understand

 

“Nino comes here once a month; whenever Ohno Satoshi comes to the hospital for his rehabilitation program and helps him. The truth is that he was asked to… he’s needed to be here.”

 

“I’m sorry but I’m afraid I don’t understand…”

 

“You will, Jun-kun… in a while…”

 

Jun looked perplexed at the other man before turning his attention back to the room. From there, he could see that the small-figured man was feeling some pain. Fine. This… Ohno Satoshi had had an accident but what did that have to do with the letters he had found?!

 

“You’ve done great today, Ohno-kun!” Jun heard the responsible one saying from the room, as the door was open. “If you continue like that, in a month from now, you’ll be able to walk like before and in two months even run!”

 

“I wouldn’t be able to do that if it wasn’t for Kazu being here!” Ohno Satoshi replied with a wide smile. 

 

Jun was about to look away at that phrase but the way Nino flinched at these words made him not want to take his eyes away. He could understand him well and it was obvious that something was wrong there…

 

“Oh-chan…” this time it was Nino’s shaky voice. “I have to go to speak with the doctor, now, ok?”

 

“Sure. I’ll be waiting for you at the canteen.”

 

“Ok…”

 

“How about we grab a hamburger?”

 

“Oh-chan, I don’t think-”

 

“But lately, you never have time to stay… Are you still mad at me for forgetting our anniversary?”

 

Nino seemed to be more and more uneasy. “No, Oh-chan… I-”

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

“It’s nothing… Wait for me at the canteen, Ok?” Nino sounded nervous.

 

Satoshi lowered his head as he nodded slowly.

 

Jun saw Nino walking towards the main building and lost, as he was in his thoughts, didn’t realize the hand that was dragging him closer to Ohno Satoshi.

 

“Ohno-kun!” Masaki said in a cheerful way to the small-figured man.

 

“Masaki-kun! What a surprise!” Ohno Satoshi exclaimed similarly before looking at Jun. “And this is?”

 

“Jun! A good friend!” Masaki replied casually.

 

“Nice to meet you!”

 

Jun gulped. He managed though to mutter a ‘nice to meet you’ back and bow a bit. Ten minutes later, he was sitting at the canteen along with Masaki and… Ohno Satoshi. Instead of answers, Jun had more questions.

 

“How have you been?”

 

“Tired…” the small-figured man answered as he sipped some of the green tea, Masaki had bought for everyone.

 

“The headaches?” Masaki asked causing Jun to turn at him confused.

 

“Less… Sometimes, I just feel that something is wrong but can’t tell exactly what!”

 

“It will be fine, Ohno-kun. I’m sure of it!”

 

“Masaki-kun… I feel, I lose him…”

 

Jun stiffened.

 

“Why?” Masaki asked.

 

“I don’t know… Whenever I try to hug him or touch him, he pushes me away… I feel that he’s mad… It may be because of the portrait that I left in the middle or something worse… I know I can be too impulsive sometimes… It may be something I can’t remember… I think he’s gotten tired of me… Can’t you talk to him? You know him better than anyone and you live together! Please, Masaki-kun…”

 

Jun was left staring at the small-figured guy. Why did he think that Masaki and Nino were living together?

 

“I’ll try, Ohno-kun, but I can’t promise you anything. You know how Nino is…”

 

“You can persuade him! You persuaded that strict Sakurai to hire you as a bartender and don’t tell me, you didn’t do it because you liked him! I still remember how excited you were three months ago, when we were along with Kazama-kun out, because he remembered your name!”

 

Jun’s eyes met with Masaki’s who to his surprise, was staring at him and not at Satoshi.

 

“I’ll try my best, Ohno-kun!”

 

Jun had heard of Kazama. He was Masaki and Nino’s childhood friend who had moved to Hokkaido with his wife around two years ago. Around three months ago, Nino had shown him a post card in which he was asking his friend to come and visit him with Jun in order to meet him. And what was that about Masaki being excited about Sho?! Jun knew that they had been together for a little more than three and a half years already.

 

“Shit…” he muttered to himself forgetting where he was. He suddenly felt as if he could combine some pieces. Was it possible that…? Not knowing what to think. He stood up and excused himself saying that he needed to go to the toilets.

 

Jun of course didn’t go to the toilets. He was afraid he might come across Nino and he didn’t want that. At the moment, he needed fresh air to hit his face so that he could put his thoughts in order. He was leaning against the wall by the main entrance when he saw someone’s shadow coming closer.

 

“Ready to go? I’m buying you okonomiyaki!” It was Masaki who patted his right shoulder friendly. It was obvious that he finally had learnt everything he needed from this hospital.

 

Jun looked at the other and nodded smiling. It was a great idea. He hadn’t eaten much in the past days, especially after he had seen Nino being dragged to Sho’s car in that state. He wasn’t sleeping well, either. The times he’d wake up in the middle of the night with the image of Nino being curled up on his door weren’t few. The times he’d stare for hours at the unpackaged boxes also weren’t few, exactly like those times he’d stare at the photos of him and Nino on his phone. He hadn’t received any message and that wasn’t helping. He’d been feeling sad, anxious, angry… all that till that moment.

 

At that moment, he felt, as if a large burden had been lifted up from his shoulders. He could finally understand, even if he still didn’t know the details. He hadn’t been tricked. He hadn’t been betrayed. He felt lighter, happier and now, that he could feel his stomach cramped, hungry.

 

They had sat at one of the small, local restaurants close to the river. Masaki led them there after his short call to his boyfriend, who, from what it seemed, was the one who recommended it.

 

“Sho is like an alive travel suggestions app!” Masaki told Jun once they sat down with the freshly made okonomiyaki.

 

They ate in a comfortable silence, each one probably trying to find the better way to start the needed conversation. Masaki had brought them a second round of cold beers when he finally started talking before Jun had the chance to ask him anything.

 

“I was living with Nino…” he said, his eyes locked on the glass in front of him. “… until around three and a half years, ago. For years, I had been working as a waiter, so that you understand why Ohno-kun said that I persuaded ‘strict’ Sakurai Sho to hire me. The truth, is that I tried my luck as a bartender without having any experience because from the first time I saw him in his small bar, I fell in love. Soon, we became a couple and Sho asked me to move in with him only two months after we got together. It was also around that time that Nino decidedly broke up with Ohno-kun.”

 

“Ohno Satoshi…” Jun muttered hesitantly without turning his gaze to the other. “… he suffers from memory loss, right?”

 

Masaki smiled and sipped some of his beer. “I knew you’d figure out, Jun-kun. Yes… or more correctly selective memory loss, as the doctors call it. Around a year ago, Nino received a call from this hospital. Ohno-kun had a serious car accident… he was hit on the head severely which had left him in a state that he couldn’t communicate with others, for several days. After that, I guess he was in a delirium? I honestly don’t know but all he kept mumbling was Nino’s name. He would be stressed and doctors had to give him sedative injections, something that wasn’t helping at his state. They found Nino’s identity and asked him to visit because it was serious. I had come along, not wanting to leave him alone at such a situation.”

 

“We were informed about how severe his accident, how he had reacted so far and that he had woken up a few hours ago, asking for his boyfriend. We instantly looked at each other; something was wrong. After having passed half an hour at his room, we realized that he had woken up with his mind stuck up in the past; three years, to be exact. For Ohno-kun, Nino was still together with him the same way he believed, I was still Nino’s roommate. The reason why he had moved to Osaka wasn’t the fact that they had broken up. It was because he had found a good opportunity for his work and Nino had been supportive. The doctors had their suspicions from the beginning because he seemed to have problem with a right perception of time but when we explained them, they realized that his case was a lot worse. One of the neurologists, the one that Nino went to talk to before at the hospital, said that it was probably psychological… that Ohno-kun’s brain decided to delete the most painful memories.”

 

“Nino was asked by the doctors to play along for the sake of his health… Wasn’t he?”

 

“Yes… They said that his state was dangerous because apparently Ohno-kun had a melanoma…? No, hematoma…? I’m not good with such terms. Sho is the one who knows them but well… it’s of little importance. It was something in his head, apparently too difficult to reach and clean with surgery, so they had to look at it closely and see if the body would make it heal by itself. Any stress or sudden situation of anxiety could be dangerous. Gladly, that was surpassed completely a few months ago but the memory never came back. That’s the reason why they exchange letters… and why Nino keeps them. Every few months he brings them to the neurologist who is responsible for Ohno-kun… he wants to see the progress, like a diary… because Ohno-kun still has problems to perceive time correctly. Sometimes, he writes letters using the same date for three times in a row or confuse the duration of a month with that of a week, sometimes he considers things that took place years ago as if it was a month ago.”

 

“Like with Kazama-san…” Jun muttered. “So, all those things I read haven’t taken place recently… Nino has never gone to his place…”

 

Masaki sighed, slightly smiling. “Of course, there’s no way he’d go; even before he met you, Jun-kun. He wants to help him but that doesn’t mean that he can forgive him. I mean… Ohno-kun isn’t a bad guy… but he had always been too focused on himself. I wouldn’t say out of vanity or egocentrism; more out of his need to be in his own world. You know… someone, who would look at them together, would immediately say how perfect they were for each other. It was easy to say that. They both had a not too social lifestyle, preferring to stay at home most of the times. They had similar points of view when it came to many things but they weren’t made for each other.  I knew that they weren’t. They were fighting a lot… They had loved each other but there was a large gap when it came to true and deep understanding.”

 

“Ohno-kun couldn’t understand Nino. They both didn’t talk much but it was for different reasons. Nino, despite the impression he leaves when someone meets him for the first time, is someone who seeks for the other’s attention, needs to see different expressions of love but also someone who would never voice it out. I know that you have seen right through his soul but Ohno-kun hadn’t; perhaps, he couldn’t even guess it.” Masaki sighed. “The thing is that they kept fighting and things went worse despite their tries. When Nino asked him to break up, the other said many hurtful things. I guess he’s one of those people who hurt the others not on purpose to hurt them but because they feel hurt themselves. I guess that there is hidden the reason why Nino doesn’t want you to call him ‘Kazu’, Jun-kun. The one that used to call him Kazu has hurt him and he doesn’t want neither to be reminded, nor to feel that the story will repeat itself.”

 

Jun was left speechless. He had found out many things. Now, he could understand better why Nino would look blankly at some random spot on the wall or on the floor and he could understand why he had asked him not to be called ‘Kazu’ while searching for protection in his arms.

 

“Why didn’t he tell me anything?” the words slipped out of his mouth like a whisper and it was a question, dedicated more to himself.

 

“Because he was afraid… afraid that you may not understand why he had to play this role for an ex-boyfriend. He was afraid that you may leave him…”

 

“Stupid…” Jun whispered, feeling tears building up in his eyes and turning his sight blurry. “Stupid…”

 

“I had told him that he was…”

 

“But I’m stupid, as well… Very stupid…” Jun said before finishing his beer.

 

They stayed like that for several minutes, neither of them taking the initiative to.

 

“Can we go back to Tokyo?” Jun asked out of the blue.

 

“You don’t want to talk to him? I can call him and tell him come here…”

 

“No, not here; not like this. Please, Masaki-kun!”

 

“Ok!” Masaki replied with a wide smile. “I think I understand. Let’s go!”

 

Jun was looking outside the window, discovering how beautiful the route was. He had been too nervous before to be able to enjoy the view and the different landscapes that now it worked on him like balsam. He thought how nice it would be if he went on an excursion with Nino. Kyoto or somewhere in Shizuoka from where they could enjoy the view of Fuji.

 

***

 

Jun looked around and smiled tired. Everything was at its place. He had worked for ten hours without break to be able to have everything right. In the apartment, there were no boxes around. Everything was at its place. It was seven o’clock. In an hour from now, he’d be there. Masaki had informed him that he had executed his part of the plan. He hurried to the bathroom to have a quick shower. Twenty minutes later, he was wearing the clothes, he had chosen earlier, knowing how much Nino loved them. He went to the kitchen to prepare himself a coffee and check on the ravioli he had put in the oven. They were stuffed with minced meat, that Jun knew how much his boyfriend adored. He put the plates, cutlery and glasses at their proper place. Two candles were decorating the table in the middle, giving it a romantic dimension; exactly like Jun wanted it.

 

At 20:08 his bell rang and Jun felt his heart accelerating dangerously. He looked at himself in the mirror next to the door, one last time, and opened the door.

 

In front of him, there was standing a nervous Ninomiya Kazunari that made Jun remember Masaki’s words when they had been to Osaka. In front of him, there was an unsure, unconfident man; nothing alike the brat he had come to meet little by little and it hurt him knowing that he was the reason.

 

He didn’t say anything. He held Nino’s hand softly and made him enter. He closed the door and cupped his boyfriend’s cheeks with his palms, as he moved his head slightly upwards so that their gazes could meet.

 

“Welcome home… my idiot…” Jun’s voice was weak, trembling. He felt relieved and anxious in the same time. “Here, all this time, there was another idiot missing you and not having the courage to voice it out loud…”

 

Nino had tears in his eyes but didn’t utter a single word.

 

“This idiot missed so much these beautiful eyes of yours, your soft skin, everything that makes you, you. This idiot wants to ask for forgiveness because he let his previous experiences define his relationship with you… This idiot wants you in his life because he can’t live without you… he loves you too much to be able to do that…”

 

Nino’s lower lip trembled. Their eyes were locked to one another and Jun could feel it… they could say everything their mouths didn’t have the courage to utter… They could understand each other… they were made for each other.

 

When their lips met into a soft, full of emotions kiss, they both sighed relieved. Jun let out something between a sob and a laugh. He didn’t care to name it… all that mattered was that Nino was there, in his arms, kissing him.

 

“This…” Nino started whispering on Jun’s lips once he broke the kiss. “This idiot also needs your forgiveness because he let his insecurities win, making him hide the truth… I-”

 

Nino didn’t have the chance to finish his words as he was hushed by Jun’s lips. “Shhh… It’s ok, my love. I know everything… and no matter what your decision is, I will stand by your side because it’s yours.”

 

“Jun…”

 

Jun smiled, his right hand brushing softly through Nino’s hair. “I will ask you to follow me to the kitchen where a delicious dinner is waiting for us but first, I want to ask you something.”

 

“Wh… what?”

 

“Can I call you my Nino from now on?”

 

Nino smiled and hugged Jun, wrapping his hands around his boyfriend’s waist tightly. “Of… of course, you can!”

 

Jun took Nino’s hand and with their fingers intertwined led him to the kitchen. He smiled at the feeling of how perfectly they fitted together. He had the man he loved more than anything in his life next to him. Despite everything, he was given the chance to have him by his side and that was what mattered to him the most. After having lost Nino, he could clearly see how much his loss had costed him. He didn’t care about anything else. As long as he had him, he could do anything; he was happy… complete.

 

THE END

 

A.N. Sooo minna here’s the second – also long – part of this small Matsumiya fic! ^^ I tried to show different aspects of the story and how things progressed until Jun found out the truth behind those letters. I don’t know whether you were expecting this kind of explanation or not but at least, Nino never betrayed Jun with Ohno! Matsumiya had their happy ending, as they deserved! :) And yes…. I couldn’t help but squeeze some Sakuraiba, as well! xP
My dear Learashi, even if it came late, I hope I didn’t disappoint you!

I hope you enjoyed this story and as always, your comments are <333!!!

See you soon,
Andy <3







 
 
Current Mood: hot
Current Location: my room
 
 
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