Title: A Broken Promise

Author: Andy-chan (antimiya88)

Special thanks for all her support to my dear chrysiida_tori <3

Pairings: Sakuraiba (main), Sakumoto, Matsumiya (side), Junba (brothers), Yama (friendship)

Genre: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance

Rating: R - NC-17

Summary: "I promise you to always be by your side… I promise to never hurt you… I promise to never let you down…" This was the promise Sho had made to Masaki. Seven years have passed since then and Sho knows positively that he still loves his partner more than his life. But sometimes life has unexpected surprises. Will he be able to keep his promise or not?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys unfortunately

Chapter 1   /   Chapter 2   /   Chapter 3

“Hey sleeping beauty!!!”

Jun refused to open his eyes. He had a headache and his body felt sore.

“You know if you don’t get up the next minute I’ll leave and you’ll pay for the extra time… I don’t intend to pay for your pretty ass more than what I already did last night!”

Jun opened slowly his eyes to see this Nino being all dressed and looking at him smirking.

“You know for such a dick you certainly have a cute face…”

Nino burst into laughs. “And you despite your DoS looks you’re such a whining little princess… Now, Princess Junko get your ass up!”

Jun sat up on the bed while rubbing his face to wake up. “Fuck you…”

Nino went closer and whispered in his ear. “No… I fucked you and you liked it darling…”

Jun said nothing in response. He went into the bathroom and looked at his reflection on the mirror. He did have enjoy it… But this man… why did he have to be so fucking arrogant?! He poured some water on his face and smirked. You’ll be the one who will come to me begging for a repeat my dear but I won’t do you the favor!

In the next ten minutes he was all dressed and ready to go. He could feel Nino’s intense glare on him but he didn’t give in. He headed to the door without sending the other a single glance.

“Woooh… easy there Princess…”

Jun turned around and grabbed Nino by the collar of his jacket. “I’ll punch you if you call me again like that. Got it?!”

Nino raised both his hands as a sign of retreat. “Fine, fine… I’m sorry… What about I buy you a coffee? You know as a make-up thing?!”

Jun narrowed his eyes but his grip loosened a bit. “We have nothing so there’s nothing to make up for…”

Nino leaned his face closer so that their mouths were not more than a few inches apart. “Well… I don’t like to leave with such tension… We surely had fun last night… I just don’t want us to be in bad terms… It’s not like we have something to argue about… right?” his voice was so low that Jun had to focus on the movement of his lips to understand everything that was spoken. That was perhaps the wrong thing to do.

He had tens of one night stands but never had he found himself so weak… someone who could pull his strings the way he wanted as if he was a mere puppet. The worst was Nino’s eyes. They were beautiful but most importantly they could dive into his soul. He felt naked in front of him. He didn’t care much about the nakedness of his body but the nakedness of his soul was unbearable.

“Just one coffee…” Nino repeated softly.

His mind was screaming to him to get the hell out of there before it was too late… Yet, his body wouldn’t obey his mind. He felt his head nodding slowly.

Nino flashed him a wide smile as he took Jun’s hand into his.
***

“So… Jun what are you doing in Tokyo?” Nino asked as he sipped some of his coffee.

Jun raised an eyebrow. Why bother asking me casual questions? He expected to be asked about his talk last night. He couldn’t tell for sure how much he had said but he could clearly remember speaking about his brother.

Jun’s lips formed a bitter smile. “That’s your style huh?”

Nino frowned. Jun sipped a bit of his own coffee before adding “You know… to start asking casual questions and then start the real thing…” Jun coughed “the interrogation about the things I was talking about last night…?! So I would say stop the bullshit and ask what you really want to know!”

Nino looked Jun straight in the eye. “Ok… Who are you Jun?” his voice was serious and wasn’t leaving any space for jokes.

“What?” Jun asked confused.

Nino crossed his arms in front of his chest without breaking the eye contact. “You told me I should ask you what I really want to know…” Jun was looking at him with a small frown appear on his forehead. “So I did exactly that… I asked who is Jun because that’s what I want to know…”

Jun smirked. “Leave that shit… ok? If you think that I will fall for your sappy words you’re wrong Nino”

Nino was unexpectedly too calm for the situation and that got on Jun’s nerves even more. “I’m not a fan of sappy words Jun… Neither am I curious about the ones I usually drag out of bars and fuck”

Jun was ready to protest but Nino ignored him. “You have caught my attention… I want to know you better. I don’t know the reason myself but I don’t care to find out either. I want to know you and that’s all. Now whether you start talking to me about your favorite food or movie or about the fact that you hate you brother and want to make him pay for something it depends on you. What I want is to know you. How complicated can that be?”

Jun was left dumbfounded. Who was that person? Why couldn’t he be the one to mock, to exploit and then to throw away. He had to be the one in charge. He had to be the one who had the control. You can do it Jun.

“I must have been the best fuck of your life for being so eager to find out about me when you can already tell that I’m a problematic person… I mean hating your brother and desiring to make him pay isn’t something that you would call normal right?”

Nino said nothing. He just kept on staring Jun with those intense eyes. “I’m a bad person! I’m a shit! Why do you remain silent? Say something damn it… Are you making fun of me? Is that what you want?!”

“I have no intention to make fun of you. You’re not a bad person nor a shit. You’re just someone who always suppressed his feelings, feeling always be left back, feeling always rejected. It was inevitable for you to express the pain you hide inside as grudge… perhaps not to the person you really want to but the one that seems to be the weakest… the easiest target… You try desperately to forget… Get drunk and fuck with strangers is your way out… you hate it that’s why you want to forget but you’re trapped into this torturing vicious circle of yours…”

Jun couldn’t hear anything else. He stood up, red out of anger. He could feel tears threatening come down his eyes but he had to remain strong. “Shut the fuck up! You don’t know me… You don’t know anything… Stop playing the psychologist! Ok? You’re not as clever as you want to believe you are… It was my fault to come here anyway…”

Nino remained calm. “Pity… I thought you might be strong but I guess I was wrong. It’s easier for you to get lost in the maelstrom… First it was gambling, now is fucking and then is what… drugs?! ” Jun gasped. How could he know? There’s no way he would have said that no matter how drunk he was.

As if Nino had read the other’s mind, added smirking. “Don’t look at me like that… you were mumbling at your sleep… it’s not my fault… But now please go… But wait… You’re used to that aren’t you?”

That was it. Jun spilled the glass of water all over Nino and stormed out of the café. His head was a mess. Who does he think he is this asshole…? Speaking like an expert when he doesn’t know me… Go to hell you dick… He walked for more than half an hour until he reached the river’s bank. He lied down facing the clear blue of the sky. It always calmed him down. His heart was pounding like crazy. What he hated the most was people who always thought they knew better. But the truth is they didn’t… but the truth was that no one but him knew exactly what had happened and why he was like that…
---

“You’re the one who messed up. You’re the one who will find his way out of it”

Jun could tell by his father’s tone that there was not a chance that he would help him. His mind felt ready to explode. If his father denied to help him he was in a dangerous position. The others would show no mercy.

“Please father… I know I’ve screwed up… please… I… I don’t know what to do…”

“I don’t care… I had warned you Jun… Yet you chose to defy me. You are on your own now…” Jun could tell that there was pain in his father’s eyes but there was also something else… coldness. Yes… that was the proper word. Coldness.

“Then I’ll go to Masa-nii! He will help me! That’s for sure!” Jun had to play all his cards. He had to convince his father to help him; even if it was the last time his father would ever speak to him again.

He couldn’t think anymore when a hard slap landed on his cheek.

“You’re going to mess your brother’s life too? Are you really that bastard? You have just finished school and you screwed up already. Stop making the situation even more complicated than it already is…”

Jun’s eyes bulged. He couldn’t believe his ears. “I thought that at least you would support me… I guess I was wrong father… And don’t worry… I won’t trouble Masa-nii… I don’t want to bring any trouble to your beloved son!”

His father turned his back. “You spoke right Jun. He is my beloved son. You should stay the hell out of his life… as ours… I was an idiot to want another son when…”

Jun’s body stiffened as a few tears built up. “… You already had Masa-nii… a perfect one…” his voice was trembling as he finished Jun’s sentence. “I ask you to wait two years. As soon as I turn 20 I will make sure to be outside your life. You don’t have to worry about it Matsumoto-san. From now on we are two complete strangers… that just… happen to live in the same house. Don’t worry. I will pay my monthly part of expenses…”

Jun left his father there heading to an unknown direction. He kept wandering around the city till it was dark. He was sitting on a bench watching the lights of the old industrial center across the river when an idea hit him.

“I will surely be out of your life… and then I’ll never come back… not even at your funeral… Matsumoto-san. You can have your beloved son to do so! No need for useless people like me!”
---

“Where the hell are you?”

Jun smirked as he listened to this particular voice.

“Why? Missed me?”

“As if you asshole…”

Jun continued on his little game. “When will you ever going to admit that you want me Sho-san?”

“Never because the fact that you’re claiming to exist simply doesn’t” Jun could tell Sho would smash his phone out of anger and muffled a laugh.

“Sho junior shared another idea… if I’m remembering correctly…”

“Asshole you better come home because Masaki is way too worried about you… you didn’t pick up any of his calls…”

“So you offered to call instead of him as an excuse to give me your phone number…” Jun continued in a teasing tone.

“So I decided to call you because I can’t stand watching him suffer like that because of a useless shit like you…”

Jun was ready to start another round of fake protests but all he could hear were the beeps; the other had hung up.

“You always care for your Masaki… Go to hell you and your Masaki… you hear me asshole?!” His anger was too much.

All that he wanted was to forget and because of that Nino the unwanted thoughts came over and over again and not only that; now he had to listen to his brother-in-law being a total ass towards him.

“You’ll see who is Jun, baby… I swear you’ll see…”
…………………………………..


Masaki couldn’t feel at ease. Jun was nowhere to be seen. His behavior was strange. Something was off and he intended to find out what. Having lied about the agency thing was one clue but his mother had refused to tell him anything else. She even had refused to let him talk with his father. He sighed as he looked at his phone screen after having called once again Jun. What happened Jun? And why don’t you want to tell me?

“Masaki, my love, you should eat. It’s been three hours since I spoke with him… He will be here in a minute… He probably went to grab some lunch. Please… You should eat! I don’t want you to lose any more weight… ok?”

Masaki wasn’t hungry but nodded his head and moved closer to the table when he heard the door open.

“Jun!” he called for his brother but the other seemed to pay no attention to him as he headed to his room slamming the door behind him.

Masaki sighed frowning. “Let him be Masaki… ok?”

Sho took him back to the table. “Eat your lunch and afterwards you can go and talk to him… He probably need some time alone…”
***

“Jun?” Masaki knocked softly on the door but no reply came. “Jun… please can you open the door?”

After a few seconds the door was opened. Jun didn’t look at his brother he just threw himself back on the bed.

“If you’re here to scold me about last night, I have to remind you that I’m an adult and I can do whatever I like!” his tone was harsh.

Masaki closed the door behind him and moved closer to the bed. “Jun I would never interfere in your life… it was just that I was worried. You had your phone turned off and you didn’t send any message…”

Jun smirked. “I didn’t know I had to give report!” he said ironically.

“Jun you misunderstood me… Just saying ‘I’m fine. I will be late’ was more than enough” Masaki replied fast, looking straight into his brother’s eyes. “But that’s the reason you had your phone closed?! Because you didn’t want to give me a report?! Or because you thought I would yell at you?!” Masaki asked calmly.

Jun just nodded, refusing to give a proper answer to his brother.

“I was just worried Jun… I would never start yelling at you or calling you names… I thought you knew me better than this…” Masaki said warmly. “Do you know how much I tried till I managed to convince Sho-chan to call you…?”

Jun laughed. “Why? He hates me so much that he didn’t even want to listen to my voice?” his tone was ironic.

Masaki put his hand over his brother’s. “Jun… Has something happened between the two of you? I know you both and you’re not the easiest people on earth…”

Jun stiffened a bit but tried to avoid the whole discussion over Sho. “As you said… We’re not the easiest… As a matter of fact, I would say we’re the complete opposite ones. So I guess it’s inevitable… But let’s stop talking about your husband please…” Jun turned his gaze to the window.

Masaki sighed. He knew that something was happening between the two of them and he was worried. He already had his suspicions but tried desperately not to accept them. Perhaps I’m just overreacting…

“You should know that I trust you Jun” Jun gasped at the hearing of the last phrase. You trust me…

He looked closer at his older brother. His was beautiful but it wasn’t the same bright as he remembered it. There wasn’t any true sparkling smile on his face… no trace of jauntiness.

“Can I ask you something?” his voice betrayed his nervousness. “I mean if I’m not discreet or anything…” Jun continued in a lower voice.

Masaki smiled nodding. “Of course Jun”

He knew that probably it was neither the time nor the place to ask such a thing but he couldn’t avoid it. It was eating him up and he wanted to know. Not that he couldn’t see but he wanted to hear his brother. He wanted to learn Masaki’s point of view. He was the one that had started the game but it gradually became more and more dangerous and it wasn’t a few times that he was almost caught being too clingy on Sho by his older brother. There was a tiny voice in his head telling him to stop because his brother was already paying for always being happy.

“Are you happy?” Jun stared carefully at Masaki as he made the question, noticing the small flinch on his face.

Masaki looked at his brother, not being able to utter a word. Was he happy? He couldn’t tell for sure. He surely loved Sho but still he couldn’t ease his heart from feeling sad and guilty. He knew well that nothing of that was meant to happen yet it did and there was nothing he could do to change it.

He took a deep breath before answering with a slightly trembling voice, his stare focused on his lap. “It’s complicated Jun… I am and in the same time I’m not…”

Jun looked at him closer. “I am because I have Sho-chan and I know how much he loves me but…” Masaki’s voice cracked a bit. “… But in the same time I’m not because I have entrapped him into a mere life that can only be described as living hell”

Jun sat up on his bed, his eyes never leaving Masaki’s face as he kept on speaking. “I can’t help but fear that one day I will wake up and I won’t find him next to me… not… not because he doesn’t love me anymore… but because he will have got tired of me… I mean… I’m such a nuisance for so many years… It won’t be a surprise if he does…” his voice was fading away as he spoke the last phrases.

Masaki knew well that Sho was sacrificing his own life by staying by his side.

“Masa-nii…” Jun was listening dumbfounded. It was the first time to hear his brother speak about his emotions and fears. Perhaps it is the first time he is letting himself speak. Seeing his brother like that he felt his own stomach clench. Was it right to continue? He had no choice to think more about it as Masaki continued.

“You know… when I became… like this, the doctors said that I had severely injured my spine and that I would be unable to walk. But…” Masaki tried to clear his throat a bit before continuing. “… The problem is that there was so much damage to the nerves around my waist that I… I don’t know how to say it… it’s embarrassing… But I… can’t feel anything… I can’t get any… arousal… anything… I’m useless Jun… Do you know how it feels to be with the one you love and still feel nothing… no desire, no lust?! We tried so many therapies… but nothing could help… And he’s so young… and he refuses to either touch me when I’m like that or let me go… But then again I’m selfish and I don’t want to let him go either… I want him…no… I need him by my side. But I can’t help but fear… fear of the future… Tell me Jun how can I be happy like that?! How can I really be happy like that?!”  Masaki’s body jerked as sobs made their appearance.

Jun felt guilty as his brother’s hands reached for his. He let him embrace him and caressed softly his back.

“It’s ok Masa-nii… I’m sure he won’t disappoint you…” Jun whispered. Perhaps I should go and leave them be… His heart rate was extremely fast and he felt his heart being ready to break his ribs. He wanted to make his older brother pay but it was perhaps already too much.
***

Sho felt his hands trembling as he heard his husband saying those things to Jun. He had prepared some juice for the two brothers but as he was ready to knock on the door he heard Masaki speaking of his fears. His body froze. He hated having to listen to them, firstly because Masaki was suffering and secondly, because they were the evil truth. They were the same fears that captivated his mind as well.

He went back to the kitchen leaving the tray with the two dishes on the table. His stare was blank. He knew well that there was no doubt in his emotions towards Masaki but his body… that was a different matter. He was starting to get really afraid; afraid that he might give into temptation.

He felt tears as he thought of that but he couldn’t deny it anymore. His mind was playing dirty games with him. A whole month of continuous, endless teasing had started becoming unbearable. Lately he would wake up in the middle of the night not because of Masaki but because of the other one. He was handsome and he knew exactly what buttons to press, he knew the game too well despite being so young and Sho hated it. He hated himself… he hated that Masaki’s fear was becoming more and more real.

DAMN IT! His voice screamed inside his head as a strong punch landed on the table. He had to do something before he regretted it for the rest of his life. He had to do something and he had to do it fast.
………………………………….


Jun was left staring at the wall with an empty gaze. He wanted to make his brother pay… pay for always being happy while he always was at the other side… pay for being the reason that he had ended up such a screwed up person. Of course his brother didn’t know anything but it was because of him that Jun had entered hell. So he wanted to make him taste it as well. But… perhaps his brother was already there.

I guess I should stop and get out of here… his hands covered his eyes. It seems that God has made him pay for the past… Perhaps he has learnt his lesson… And he did open to me before… Three hours now he kept thinking of Masaki’s and, even if he didn’t want to admit it, Nino’s words.

He opened his eyes and stared at the small sparrow that was watching him from the edge of his window before flying away. Perhaps I should fly away as well… then he turned his gaze up in the sky that had already some deep violet shades. “I had sworn that I will take revenge… but it seems it’s already taken by itself… Is it that I have disappointed you that much?!” Jun’s eyes glittered due to some tears that built up in his eyes. “I’m sorry if I did…” the last words were whispered… his voice almost cracking. “I’m sorry…”
***

He opened the door and walked towards the living room. No one… It was normal for Sho. He was always working till late but then Masaki? Perhaps he has lied down?! He made a few steps towards his brother’s bedroom but before he could knock on the door his body froze. He couldn’t believe his ears.

“Of course I didn’t tell him that we’ve spoken. If he ever finds out that I know the real reason for escaping then he won’t tell me the truth. Don’t worry mum, I’ll do whatever I can to help you… Please don’t cry. I’ve been careful. Everything will return to normal again ok?”

Jun’s hands started trembling. He grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the house to bump on Sho who had just arrived.

“Hey! Where the hell are you going huh?” Jun said nothing. He just kept on walking. He was panting hard and all he needed was some fresh air.

“You won’t even apologize jerk?” he ignored Sho’s voice which was fading away as he advanced to the elevator. He pressed the button and leaned on the wall. His idol was clear on the mirror at the back.

He smiled bitterly. And you were ready to forgive him and let him go when he already had made his movement AGAIN. Idiot… But that’s why they liked him… Because he would always lick their asses… like a puppet…

Jun’s hand clenched into a fist and his eyes narrowed. I was an idiot for thinking about leaving. No… my brother you should take your lesson since you seem to still ignore it. I was an idiot for feeling sorry for you when you… again… even in this state… But don’t worry Masa-nii! The ground is already sowed. What I need is to simply irrigate. Since you plan this behind my back I can plan behind your back as well.

The elevator stopped and Jun got out of the building. “I can’t wait to look at your pretty face when you see your beloved husband surrendered to the pleasure that I’ll be giving him!”



TO BE CONTINUED...




A.N. Chapter 4 is up!!! :) Nino is a little straight forward with Jun ne?! As we can see something has happened to Jun in the past. He has lied about the agency and the reason for travelling to Tokyo, he doesn't speak with his father at all and he had sworn for something that even Masaki is involved (it's a secret for now... :P) To those who were waiting for the explanation of his behavior in this chapter I'm sorry but you'll have to wait a bit. But you saw... he did speak wiith his brother and he decided to leave and forget about everything but well... He's suffering a lot. Everyone does :(
In the next chapter I will focus more on Sakuraiba and especially Aiba... my poor Aibaby... my heart aches as I write this story...
I'm also really happy that I discovered that more people are reading it despite being such a depressive one!

I hope you enjoyed it and as always your comments are <333!!!


See you next week minna! ^_^