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Title: A Broken Promise
Author: Andy-chan (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
antimiya88)
antimiya88)Special thanks for all her support to my dear chrysiida_tori <3
chrysiida_tori <3Pairings: Sakuraiba (main), Sakumoto, Matsumiya (side), Junba (brothers), Yama (friendship)
Genre: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: R - NC-17
Summary: "I promise you to always be by your side… I promise to never hurt you… I promise to never let you down…" This was the promise Sho had made to Masaki. Seven years have passed since then and Sho knows positively that he still loves his partner more than his life. But sometimes life has unexpected surprises. Will he be able to keep his promise or not?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys unfortunately
Warning: This chapter contains semi (?) rape. If you aren't comfortable feel free to skip it!
Warning: This chapter contains semi (?) rape. If you aren't comfortable feel free to skip it!
CHAPTER 5
Masa-nii… you are such a bitch… underneath that ‘oh I’m like an angel’ smile of yours there were always calculations huh? To be the best while I was the worst. You knew the game well… you knew how to make my father fall for your fake ‘caring’ persona…
Jun smirked as he sipped a bit from his drink. Tonight he had come to another bar. He somehow always ended up meeting Nino who was trying to talk to him but he didn’t want to. He had to avoid him. He didn’t want to get attached to anyone… not after what had happened… and he hated how that man had managed to get stuck into his mind. There was only one solution: He just had to get wasted. He needed it… to forget.
That’s how he passed his nights since that talk with Masaki. Otherwise, he would always dream of that day… the exact same nightmare, where he could only hear the loud screams and he couldn’t stand it anymore.
Bastard… always pretending the good one… always making me look as the one at fault… always creating those barriers between us… barriers unapproachable in dad’s eyes… you knew your game well… how to rule and throw me away… make me seem useless… make me feel as if I was the one who didn’t belong to the family… you somehow won… it’s because of you that I’m like that…
Jun laughed bitterly trying to blink his tears away. Yeah… and me the idiot who thought that you suffer enough already and I should leave you and that jerk husband of yours alone… but no… despite being like that you continue your little game… you weren’t satisfied with that… after what happened… no… well it doesn’t really matter… you continue yours and I’ll continue mine…
“Another one!” Jun hissed to the bartender. He had just finished the seventh shot. He needed more. Feeling the alcohol invade his veins, made his mind relax somehow.
“And I really thought you were not that stupid… princess” Jun almost smashed the glass in his hand at the hearing of that particular voice. It was enough that it was hunting him all day long…
He drank his eighth one in one go before clobbering the man next to him. “You should really get lost from my eyes before I lose my temper!” his tone was definitely a warning one but that didn’t discourage the other to look straight in Jun’s eyes.
“You’ve already lost it… darling!” a soft smirk appeared on his lips; a smirk that made Jun’s blood boil.
“That’s it you asshole!” Jun grabbed the other man by his collar and dragged him to the toilet forcing him into the last one slamming the door behind him.
“You bastard… you’ll see, who’s stupid and who’s not Ni-no!”
The smaller man didn’t have neither the time nor the chance to react as he was already bended over the toilet lid, with his trousers and boxers lowered to his knees. Jun’s legs were restraining him from every possible movement as he was getting rid of his own. The next minute he felt like screaming feeling his insides tearing apart, as Jun shoved his whole length inside him without warning, without any kind of preparations. It was not lust; it was pure anger.
“I had told you to not call me princess ever again…” Jun whispered in his ear before biting his earlobe. He was fucking him hard, fast…no… desperately. Yes… that was the word… he needed to forget… he needed to release his anger… all this anger that felt like drowning him inside his chest.
After a couple of minutes, he felt tears running down his eyes and looked at the smaller man underneath him trying to hold on to the wall his hands trembling. His whole body was shaking but he never let out a scream. He managed to keep his voice down. He didn’t try to speak up… he didn’t even swear. He was just accepting speechlessly what Jun was doing.
Nino was biting his lip so hard that he tasted his own blood at the end. The pain was like hell, unbearable. He surely had experienced rough sex before but this was… different… there was no lust, just fury and hatred. He didn’t say anything though. He had watched how Jun was behaving all this couple of days. Something must have happened… it was not logical all this behavior. Out of the blue he felt no more movements, despite Jun still being buried inside him. The hands around his waist started trembling and soon something hot came to land on his exposed neck. He’s crying…
He moved his one hand over Jun’s and squeezed it. He could sense the other’s surprise. He moved his hips a bit, as if giving Jun the sign to continue. The thrusts began once again but this time there was not anger. They were tenderer. Nino slowly started relaxing and soon soft moans were escaping his half opened mouth as his spot was brushed.
Jun couldn’t believe that the other one had just given him his approval. He knew that he hadn’t fought too much but he thought he was just imagining it. But no… this man underneath him without speaking out loud a single word, he had said everything. Why?! You should have hated me by now… When he felt the other rocking his hips, he knew that it was different. He was accepted… perhaps for the first time in his life.
He started moving again but this time in a slower pace, angling his pace, desiring to give the other not only pain but also pleasure. The soft moans that were reaching his ears made him want to listen to them even more. His hand left the smaller man’s waist and wrapped around his painfully hard member, pumping it in a matching rhythm with his thrusts. It didn’t take long for both of them to come, panting hard.
“Are you feeling better now?” Jun gasped as he heard Nino’s sweet voice. There was no trace of anger or repulsion. If he wasn’t afraid to admit it he could say that he could recognize concern in the other’s tone. But why?
Nino smiled as his hand reached Jun’s cheek caressing it softly. “I’m fine… really…”
“But I…” Jun’s voice was empty. He couldn’t believe it. He had just forced himself to him and he was there smiling and caressing him. Why?
He saw Nino trying to wipe the cum that was running down his thighs with difficulty. He couldn’t stay any longer. He needed to get out of there as soon as possible. Without a single word he stormed out of the toilet leaving Nino alone.
The latter sat on the lid. Tears had made their appearance as he snapped his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number.
“Captain…”
………………………………………
Masaki thought that he had come closer to his brother. He had opened himself to him, so that he could also do the same but Jun was avoiding him. Whenever he was at home, he would remain locked in his room. He wouldn’t speak to anyone. Masaki bit his lip. He wouldn’t speak to him. He would always speak to Sho. He wanted his brother to get along with his husband but then why was he hating it when he was watching them together preparing food? Why didn’t he like the way Sho would get embarrassed whenever Jun would scold him over the amount of pepper? Why did Jun seem so comfortable around Sho while he refused to remain in the same room alone with Masaki for more than 5 seconds?
Since their talk things had obviously become more awkward in the house. Sho remained the same caring as before, he could see the love in the other’s eyes but he could also see something else… something that he kept trying to convince himself he was imagining. But then again… there were no ‘attacks’. It might have been a coincidence but it was exactly after that talk between him and Jun that Sho stopped claiming him as his lover.
He knew that he should feel relieved since it always made him feel ashamed but now that he didn’t have it he felt insecure.
***
He made his way into the bedroom. He found their album. It was green, Masaki’s favorite color, with red letters, Sho’s favorite color.
Sho & Masaki
Honeymoon
2010
His hands were passing the pages, bringing up hundreds of memories. There was a few pics showing the view from the hotel room and its amazing view.
---
“Sho-chan! Wake up you sleepy! It’s 10 o’ clock already! You had promised me we would pass the day at the beach!”
Sho refused to open his eyes. A journey to Greece was long… They had been travelling for almost 24 hours.
“Baby… how can you be so energetic? Don’t you have jet lag? We’ve been travelling since yesterday…” Sho whined.
“Well… I’m sorry but if I’m not mistaken it was you that insisted to come to Europe for our honeymoon. I don’t intend to remain all day in the room…” Masaki’s fingers brushed playfully Sho’s naked torso “unless… if you have some interesting idea how to kill the time…”
Sho sat up better on the bed. “Baby… you do realize that we boarded on three planes. Not one nor two… three! We were up in the air for 16 whole hours!”
“You were calculating?!” Masaki’s eyes bulged. He knew what a schedule freak, Sho was but he never failed to amaze him… or to be more accurate to surprise him.
“Yes… from Narita airport to Charles de Gaulle airport 12 hours. From Charles de Gaulle airport to Venizelos airport 3 and a half hours… and then our flight to Santorini 45 minutes! Not to count the 40 minute delay at Athens and the-”
Masaki covered Sho’s mouth with his palm. “Alright! You convinced me! You know all the details! Good job baby! But now please get your pretty ass out of bed because I want to have breakfast… Look at the view…” Masaki pointed outside their window where the blue of the sea was matching with the blue of the sky. “It’s so beautiful! C’ mon… we only have 30 minutes…” Masaki leaned closer to his husband and whispered. “Just a warning. If you don’t get up in the next 30 seconds, no lovey-dovey for today!”
“That’s the first thing you want to share with your husband in your first morning of your honeymoon? How romantic…”
“It’s not my fault if my husband is behaving like a fussy old man…” Masaki knew well how much Sho hated to be called like that.
“You! If I catch you…” Sho chased Masaki around the room until he grabbed him and made him fall on the mattress underneath him.
“Who is an old man?” Sho said trying to muffle his laugh and sound serious.
Masaki, whose face was flushed, from excitement, didn’t want to declare defeat. “You…” he managed to say between his laughs.
At the hearing of this Sho grabbed Masaki’s wrists placing them over his head. “You’ll see now who is a fussy old man dear…” he said smirking before attacking Masaki’s well known to him sensitive spots.
---
A small smile formed on Masaki’s lips as his fingers touched a photo of his husband’s sleeping figure. He always loved how Sho looked while sleeping. Before he had turned like that, it was a habit for Masaki to always pretend to be asleep and then, once Sho was welcomed to the dreamland, he would just pass his time watching Sho. It was not what someone would call sexy. But even when he was drooling, Masaki found it adorable.
He turned another page. The first on the right was a picture of them on the White beach. It was a bit shaky because he had taken it while kissing Sho’s cheek but even like that it couldn’t be more perfect.
---
“Sho-chan! Let’s try some underwater diving!” Masaki said as soon as they reached the most well-known beach of the island.
Sho sighed. “But Masaki baby…”
Masaki wrapped his arms around his neck. “You don’t want to?”
Sho was avoiding his gaze, embarrassed to admit that he was afraid of trying diving.
“It’s ok then… I have an idea!” Masaki said quickly, sensing the tension.
Masaki winked to Sho before getting closer to the responsible of the rental shop for watersports.
“Hello! We...” he said pointing at him and Sho. “Boat… two hours… have… can?”
It was a miracle how the other man understood what Masaki wanted in such English but before Sho could tell they were already in a boat, rented for two hours.
Sho couldn’t help but feel a bit anxious. “Masaki… are you sure you know where we are going?” he asked reluctantly.
“I’m not that stupid Sho-chan. I’ve already done my research!” Masaki said smiling and Sho couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful face of his husband as the wind was brushing through his hair.
After a while Sho came to see a small beach. It was a unique sight. Everything, from the rocks to the sand, everything was white. It was beautiful.
“This is the famous White beach of Santorini. Do you like it?” Masaki asked, agony written all over his face.
“Yes baby…” Sho said and pecked his husband’s lips.
They had secured the boat near the beach after many efforts and finally they could enjoy their time.
“Let’s swim!” Masaki said enthusiastically taking his t-shirt off and fell in the crystal like waters.
They were so happy… so carefree. They would splash water to each other… they would laugh… it was as if the time around them had stopped… as if they could be like that forever.
After a while they got out of the water and lied down on the hot sand, letting the bright sun warm them up.
“Sho-chan…” Masaki whispered.
Sho turned on his right side, leaning on his elbow, and brushed Masaki’s wet hair with his free hand. “What baby?”
Masaki looked straight in his husband’s eyes. “Make love to me…”
It felt better than any time… it was as if two bodies had become one, melted in the pleasure they found together. Masaki never left Sho’s eyes and Sho never left Masaki’s. It was more than good… it was magical.
“I love you”
---
“I love you” Masaki whispered with a trembling voice. “Sho-chan… Where are you? I feel like my voice can’t reach you anymore… as if you make another step away from me… I’m losing you Sho-chan and I’m afraid…”
Masaki felt a tear running down his face. He took it away with the back of his hand. He closed the album and placed it back at its place. Before he could control it, he felt more tears building up… threatening to make their appearance. “Why can’t you hear me Sho-chan? Why?” he couldn’t handle it anymore, he buried his face in his palms, letting all the sorrow he had hidden in his heart come out.
What he didn’t know was that the door behind him wasn’t closed properly and that there was someone who had witnessed it.
…………………………………….
“Sho… it is ok… please stop drinking…” Satoshi tried to calm his friend down with no success.
Sho drank more of his beer. “What exactly is ok Satoshi? The fact that I’m a complete loser?! The fact that I’ve made him cry?!”
Satoshi sighed. “Perhaps I could talk to him…” Sho turned his head at his friend.
“And tell him what?! Your husband is a bastard?! I think he has already figured that out…”
“Sho you’re not a bastard… stop talking about yourself like that…” Sho crashed the empty glass on the table, having as a result a small cut close to his wrist.
“Stop speaking bullshit Satoshi… The fact that I stare at his butt… the fact that I fantasize about him… the fact that my eagerness to fuck him is getting bigger and bigger what makes me Satoshi?! Tell me… WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MAKE ME?!” Sho’s head fell on the table, his body jerking because of the sobs.
“Sho... you may be stupid but not a bastard… Even though I’m not gay, I have to admit that Jun is a sexy guy… and from what it seems he knows the game well. Your body follows its instincts Sho… Do you remember what I had told you a few months after Masaki’s accident?!”
Sho turned his gaze to Satoshi. He did remember…
Satoshi tapped his shoulder softly. “Do you understand now Sho?!” Sho felt tears coming to his eyes and let his head fall on Satoshi’s shoulder. His friends embraced him. “It’s going to be alright. I will help you. You are my precious friends. I can’t let you fall apart because of such a thing…”
“I think Masaki knows Satoshi… I think he does…” Sho managed to whisper between his sobs.
“Sho… You have to prove it to him… that he has nothing to be afraid… that he hasn’t lost you…”
“And how can I do that?!”
“Why don’t you go on a trip? I have a very good friend who works at the biggest ski resort of Sapporo. It’s the perfect time… I will take care of work!”
Sho looked at his friend. “Satoshi… are you listening to yourself? I will prove to Masaki that I’m there for him by bringing him to the place that made him be stuck with the wheelchair?” He drank his left beer in one go. “I’m out of here…”
Satoshi reached for his friend’s arm. “Sho, you weren’t there… he had been with his school friends if I’m not mistaken and exactly because it was a ski accident you have to take him there. You have to prove to him that you love him no matter what. You have to replace his painful memory with a new, happy one. But most importantly, Jun has to leave and you two should go to a psychologist. Now it might be Jun, but later it might be another guy… but the problem is that there will be because there’s always someone”
Sho turned his gaze down. He knew Satoshi was right. He was trying desperately to convince himself that he could do it. He had sworn to make himself suffer like Masaki, to feel his pain… he felt it so unfair to be able to enjoy while his lover couldn’t… but unfortunately the reality was harsher and it could end up badly for both of them.
“Sho…” Satoshi moved a bit so he could look straight into Sho’s eyes. “Don’t you think that your choice not to touch him, has made him even more nervous, more insecure?! I’m not a doctor but I know how important is to be relaxed, to feel confident, to feel wanted. Even if he felt your body’s reaction, deep inside, he knew that you wouldn’t go further. Have you ever thought that for him this behavior of yours might be read as rejection? You have to get it solved somehow. I don’t say that you will be able to go back like you were before the accident but I’m confident that you will find the balance that you both need…”
Sho felt a tear running down his cheek. Could it be that Masaki might feel that way?! Could that be the reason for being afraid and tensed?! He smiled bitterly. Perhaps Satoshi is right…
“And you’re going to Sapporo. End of discussion!” Satoshi said in a ‘serious’ tone, gaining a genuine smile from Sho.
“Thank you Satoshi… You are a really good friend!”
Satoshi patted softly Sho’s shoulder. “You are my friends Sho… you are my family... I did nothing to thank me…”
………………………………….
Jun kept wandering around like crazy, without having any idea where he was going… not that it actually mattered. It was already midnight but he had no intention of going back home. His ears were buzzing. He saw a small playground in front of him. He sat on the slide, bringing his knees close to his torso and hugged them with his hands burying his head in them.
His body was jerking heavily due to the sobs. He couldn’t believe what happened earlier. He couldn’t accept the fact that he had officially turned into a monster… a rapist… more importantly to the only man that had treated him like an actually human being and not a sex toy. At first, he didn’t want to accept that Nino’s words had an impact on him, neither did he want to accept that he had started thinking about the smaller guy…
That’s the reason tonight I… Jun thought was going crazy. “I was fine alone… why did you have to come up to my life and torture me…? Why did you have to come up to my life… when I’m nothing but a nuisance…? When I’m nothing but a bad omen for anyone who comes close to me? That’s my curse… I will only cause you pain… I will only make you suffer…” he smiled bitterly grabbing his hair forcefully in despair, his whole body trembling. “No… wrong… I already did…” I already did… Why didn’t you scream Nino? Why didn’t you push me away? Why… why do you stay in my mind Nino? Why did you have to come to my life Nino? Why?
His hands reached for the small pendant around his neck, holding it tightly, as if it could take away his sins.
“I’m sorry… I know I shouldn’t ask for your forgiveness… I’ve become a monster… Was I always like that?” hot tears kept running down a river. “You always made me laugh… you always made me feel that I was someone… that I had a reason to be born… but now… do you see how I’ve turned? I have failed you, haven’t I? I’m sorry… I’m really sorry…” his eyes felt heavier and heavier. “I’m sorry…”
***
Jun didn’t know that he had fallen asleep until he opened his eyes to see someone being really close to his face.
“What are you doing here this late?”
Jun pushed him away and stood up. “None of your business Sho-chan!” he said mimicking his brother’s voice, gaining a harsh slap on his face.
He looked back at Sho whose stare was cold like ice… and he could distinguish it. There was disgust, hatred. It’s always like that I guess….
“How much?”
The sudden question surprised him, making him look at his brother-in-law with narrowed eyes.
“How much what?”
“How much do you want to get the hell out of my and Masaki’s lives… Name it and you’ll have it. I don’t care as long as I never get to see your face again” Jun could tell by Sho’s tone how determined he was.
Jun made a few steps closer to Sho smirking. “I guess I make it hard for you, aren’t I?!”
Sho pushed him away throwing him with a deprecatory look. “Don’t get so confident my dear…”
Jun smirked and came closer once again, his head tilting slightly to the side, close to the other’s ear. “That’s why you were cursing the asshole as you were jerking off three nights ago around two in the morning in the bathroom?” he whispered as his one hand caressed feather like Sho’s neck. “…because I get so confident?!… unless…” he looked straight into his eyes, raising an eyebrow “if you are kinky and get aroused calling Masa-nii asshole…”
Sho was frozen… the other had caught him… What the hell am I supposed to do now?! What am I supposed to do?! His mind was thinking like crazy… not being able to find a satisfying answer.
Two hands came to cup his cheeks, making him meet the other’s eyes. “Stop thinking too much…” his words came out as a whisper hypnotizing Sho who felt his heart ready to explode and then soft lips touching his. It was different… Those lips tasted different… As if he was waking up from a dream he pushed the other away, grabbing him by the shoulders.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“What does it seem like?” Jun replied with confidence. He had already entered hell officially tonight, so what could it matter now?! He would go till the end… He was lost anyway… Without warning he grabbed Sho by his waist and smashed their lips once again, his tongue brushing the latter’s lips making him surrender. He smiled satisfied as he felt Sho finally giving in and shoving his tongue in his mouth, exploring it hungrily, brutally. Jun angled his head so that the other could get a better access, his hands already at his hips, bringing them closer.
The intensity was so much that Jun felt Sho would break his bones. Poor guy… How could he hold back for so many years?! Suddenly Sho broke the kiss avoiding look at the other’s eyes and made several steps backwards, almost tripping at his own feet.
“Tell me please…” his voice was trembling. “How much do you want to disappear from our lives once and for good? Tell me… Just tell me…” Sho fell on his knees, unable to believe what had just happened.
“You will do whatever I want if I promise you I will leave?!”
Sho didn’t have the power to look at the other. Was it his guilt? Was it the alcohol? He felt like throwing up but he managed to nod.
“I don’t want your money…” Jun replied smirking. I might be a complete jerk but you’re no better since you gave in my dear Sho and so is Masa-nii… because of him I turned like that anyway… so yes… you will enter hell along with me… be my guests…
“What do you want then? Name it and leave us alone…” Sho’s voice was empty, exactly like his gaze which was fixed on the ground.
“It’s pretty simple actually. One night with me…”
Sho moved his gaze up to the other’s face, not wanting to accept what he had just heard.
“What?!”
Jun smirked and kneeled close to Sho, having his hands in his pockets. “Sleep with me just once and I promise you I will be gone the next morning for-e-ver! So… what’s your answer? Yes or No?”
TO BE CONTINUED…
A.N. Chapter 5 is up! ^^ Things are getting even more complicated! Poor Nino... my baby... but Jun hated it... There were also some hints about his past - very small I know... but there were. Also Jun made his move on Sho. This is getting even heavier sorry... but the climax is almost there and so are the answers!!! I promise you everything will be clear in two weeks!
There were also some romantic Sakuraiba (even if it's the past). I chose Santorini because it's my favorite island!!! To make it up for you a bit here you have:
Santorini
The White Beach
And I'm really sorry about the cliff... LOVE YOU!!! <3
I hope you enjoyed it
See you next week!
Current Mood: 
tired
tiredCurrent Music: Arashi - Love Rainbow
Current Location: my room
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