Title: A Broken Promise

Author: Andy-chan (antimiya88)

Special thanks for all her support to my dear chrysiida_tori <3

Pairings: Sakuraiba (main), Sakumoto, Matsumiya (side), Junba (brothers), Yama (friendship)

Genre: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance

Rating: R - NC-17

Summary: "I promise you to always be by your side… I promise to never hurt you… I promise to never let you down…" This was the promise Sho had made to Masaki. Seven years have passed since then and Sho knows positively that he still loves his partner more than his life. But sometimes life has unexpected surprises. Will he be able to keep his promise or not?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys unfortunately

Chapter 1   /   Chapter 2 /   Chapter 3 /   Chapter 4   /   Chapter 5

Masaki couldn’t sleep. He had made himself a tea, his stare glued on the clock in front of him. It was already 2 am and neither Sho, nor Jun had come back home. He knew that Sho was going to go out with Satoshi that night but he had never been that late. Jun, on the other hand, continued on disappearing like almost every single night, without saying absolutely anything.

What has happened Jun? He rubbed softly his temple, trying to get rid of the headache. He knew that his little brother was suffering. He knew Jun was no scum… despite his past. He didn’t want to pull things to the limit, since it could only worsen the situation. His father had tried to act like that a few years ago and the results were dramatic. He had hoped that back then, after what had happened, Jun would realize what he was doing to himself and change. He had tried to contact him without success. He was always stubborn and avoided him; always till this year, when he appeared in front of his door.

At first, he hoped that Jun had made up his mind and given him a chance but as weeks were passing by, he realized that this wasn’t the case. Having stolen almost all the money from your family and flew away like that was unforgivable but Masaki had decided that it would be better not to oppose or do something that would make Jun leave him as well. He wanted them to come closer.

He always loved his little brother and everything seemed fine in the relationship between them, till Jun became a junior high school student. Since then, the distance got bigger and bigger without turning back. Masaki wished that the latest talk between them would make things better but it turned out it was only his wish, as Jun remained the same cold and distant.

But then, he had started to fear. He had scolded himself several times, for even having these kinds of thoughts crossed his mind but he couldn’t help it. He could sense that something was going on between his brother and his husband and it hurt… it hurt too much.

“I think I’ll end up going crazy in the end…” he muttered as he heard the door opening. His eyes bulged. It was not Sho or Jun, it was them together. His heart pinched at the sight. He couldn’t help but fear… feel lost, almost empty seeing his husband and brother together like that. Could it be that they were together? Masaki quickly shook his head trying to convince himself that he was just overreacting.
***

Jun muttered a goodnight and locked himself in his room. Masaki sighed. Jun… why do you make the distance between us more distant? Why do I feel that I’m losing my faith in you? Why don’t you speak to me?

He forced his best possible smile and approached the living room, where Sho had taken off his coat and sat on the sofa, with his stare empty, locked on the floor.

“Where were you Sho-chan? It’s late and I got scared that something might have happened…”

Sho didn’t even dare to look at Masaki. “I… Time really passed fast with Satoshi…” he could feel his husband looking really close to him and that made him slightly shiver. “We had a long discussion… I’ll tell you about it…” he lips curved into a small smile that rather seemed bitter. “And as I was walking back home I found your brother… sleeping outside… it was difficult for me to wake him up and convince him follow me back home…”

Masaki moved even closer to Sho. “Why didn’t you call? I have Jun who keeps refusing to tell me that he’s going to be late… and now you too?” his voice was low and a certain level of uncertainty was traceable. 

“Masaki I…” Sho turned his gaze to Masaki just to take it away the next minute. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his husband; not after what had happened almost half an hour ago.

Masaki caressed softly his husband’s arm. “Why don’t you go take a bath? I’ll be waiting for you and then we can talk… about…” Masaki took a deep breath before continuing speaking. “…About what you want to tell me about Satoshi…”

Sho nodded softly and headed to the bathroom. Masaki entered their bedroom with Sho’s coat on his lap. He closed the door and as soon as he was certain that Sho was already into the shower, his hands, trembling, searched for the pockets. He found Sho’s cell phone. His vision became a little blurry but he blinked the tears away. He hated himself for doing what he had sworn in the past he’d never do. Yet there he was… looking his husband’s messages and calls. His finger was pressing the buttons fast but in the end he found nothing.

He couldn’t decide whether he felt relieved or more stressed about that. What was I looking for in the first place?! He scolded himself mentally. Sho would never lie to me. Even if he had gotten tired of me he would have said it clearly to my face.

He was ready to put it back into the pocket when he felt it vibrating. It was a message. He felt his heart stopping when he saw the sender’s number. Jun…

From: 2803187398
I can’t wait to taste another kiss…
You’re really talented with your mouth Sho…
Goodnight


He pressed the coat close to his nose and sniffed it. Yes… there’s no mistake… that was definitely Jun’s cologne.  Masaki felt trembling, his ears buzzing not being able to move. It’s a nightmare… just a nightmare… Sho would never do that to me… not with my own brother… no… he would never…

But then again… he had seen it… the guilt and the shame in Sho’s eyes. “You got tired of me… I’m not surprised… I was actually wondering when it would happen… but why did it have to be Jun… why my little brother… why can’t you say it in my face? Why?” he mumbled, his voice cracking.
***

Sho left the hot water fall all over him as if it would make it possible to wash away his sins. I failed… That was the only think that kept rolling into his mind as he remained there, unable to believe that he had just give into Jun.


“You’re out of your mind…”

Jun laughed loudly and grabbed Sho’s chin to make him look at him. “Do I look like I’m joking? Sleep with me once and I’ll be gone forever… I would say that it’s hitting two birds with one stone; you get laid and you won’t see me again…”

Sho grabbed Jun’s hand with force. “You’re sick…”

Jun said nothing in return but just nodded his head. “So are you… Sho-chan” Sho slapped him really harsh, feeling angry; not so much because of Jun but because of himself.

“It’s not going to happen… and you’ll be gone either way…”

“Don’t be so sure about that… If you make a stupid move then I might make a stupid move myself and Masa-nii might come across a video of his beloved husband taking care of himself fantasizing about his little brother. If that’s not a surprise then what is?!” Jun saw the shocked face of the man in front of him and smiled satisfied.

“See? I would suggest you don’t let the chance slip away…” he came a few inches closer, his hands finding Sho’s waist bringing him so close to his body that their groins were pressed on each other and his mouth almost touching Sho’s ear. “Think about it Sho… I’ll be waiting…”

He moved away and started walking forwards. “But hey… wouldn’t it be wiser if we headed back home? It’s late… I bet Masa-nii can’t sleep alone!”

Masaki…
***

“Masaki…” Sho couldn’t tell exactly for how long he had stayed in the shower, trying to get rid of the painful memory.

Once he was back to the bedroom Masaki was still on his wheelchair, looking outside the window. His heart clenched at the view. He still couldn’t believe he had actually betrayed the man he loved the most in his life.

He took a deep breath and walked closer to his husband.

“Masaki haven’t you lied down yet?! It’s late…” Masaki though seemed not to have taken notice of him.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Sho froze at his spot. Despite not being able to see Masaki’s face he could tell that the latter was sad.

He tried desperately to suppress the hundreds of thoughts and turned his gaze down.

“I want to talk to you Masaki… but shouldn’t we lie down first?” he made a few steps closer. “Let me help you”

Masaki turned around and passed him by, reaching for his side of the bed. “I can do it myself…” Sho frowned. It wasn’t that Masaki couldn’t do it himself. It was the fact that this was the first time that Sho was at home and Masaki denied his help.

Sho shook a bit his head and moved closer to his husband taking hold of his waist. “It’s ok Masaki… I want to do it…”

“I said NO! What don’t you understand Sho?” Masaki threw Sho’s hands away and made himself sit on the bed.

Sho looked at him, unable to react. It was the first time that Masaki was denying his help and called him Sho instead of Sho-chan. Without saying anything else he sat on his side of the bed, avoiding to look at his husband.

“What happened Masaki?” his voice was low and almost cracked as he uttered his husband’s name. He was almost sure that Masaki had understood something.

“I’m… just tired… all this situation with… Jun… has gotten me tired…” Masaki whispered but even with these words Sho couldn’t calm himself down. He chose though to leave it behind and talk to Masaki about Satoshi’s proposition. He knew that day by day his chances to make things up with Masaki were decreasing.

“I had a serious talk with Satoshi… about… us…” he said the last word reluctantly and he could feel Masaki’s body stiffen next to him even if he didn’t touch him. “I… We… No I…” his heart was beating like crazy.

“Take a breath and start from the beginning… Sh- Sho” the last part was spoken with difficulty but somehow it gave Sho the strength to continue.

“I want us to go on vacation… the two of us. I mean… originally it was Satoshi’s idea but I want to do it. He said that he has a good friend who works at the biggest ski resort at Sapporo…”

Masaki gasped and looked bewilderedly at his side, deep inside his husband’s eyes. Was his just invited to a trip?

“I know…” Sho’s gaze was focused on his lap. “… That it was there that you had the accident but I want to replace these painful memories with new, happy ones! I want us to come closer Masaki… I know that lately…” his voice cracked. “I… I… I love you Masaki… I really do but somehow… I feel that we get apart and I don’t want that to happen to us… I want you by my side…”

Sho turned his gaze to Masaki who was looking back at him with teary eyes. His hand tentatively reached for Masaki’s hand and to his surprise he didn’t repulse it. “It’s my fault… I’m going crazy lately… That’s why I want us to go there… away from here… and afterwards… we can go to a psychologist… I want us to be really happy Masaki and complete as a couple. Please…”

Masaki couldn’t speak. He had seen the message and he was sure that Sho had made his decisions. But now… he was telling him all that. But still… the facts would never change. He didn’t know what to say; his head was a mess, replaying Jun’s message and Sho’s words. Should I listen to you Sho-chan? I don’t know what to think anymore…

Sho turned his gaze away. “I also want to talk to you about… Jun...” he bit his lower lip shamefully.

Masaki tensed at the hearing of his brother’s name. He tried to calm his breathing before looking at Sho.

“What about him Sho-chan? You seem to have no problem with each other lately… You’ve come… pretty close…” Masaki’s eyes were fixed on Sho’s face which twitched at the hearing of his brother’s name, confirming the whole thing.

Sho closed his eyes. “I want him to leave by the end of the week. I will find him a small apartment in a good neighborhood, so you won’t have to worry about his safety but he will be gone. It’s already been almost two months. I think it’s time he finds his own path…”

“But…” Masaki tried to speak but Sho snapped him.

“No but Masaki… This is my house as well. I think he had more than enough time to get used to Tokyo. Going to bars every night and coming back home late in the morning doesn’t belong to the image of a person with difficulties of adjusting to a new environment and he’s an adult. He will be out by the end of next Friday and we will go to Sapporo next Saturday. I won’t hear anything…”

Masaki was left dumbfounded looking at the wall in front of him. Could that mean that Sho had chosen him?! Should he feel happy? But the pain couldn’t leave him… the uneasiness and the doubt were still there. You still kissed him Sho-chan… my own brother… you kissed him… Lost in his own thoughts, he didn’t realize he was pulled in Sho’s embrace. He felt lips being pressed softly on top of his head, locked as he was in the crook of his husband’s neck.

“I want us to find ourselves again Masaki… I want us to become like we were before the accident…”

Masaki couldn’t utter a word. He could feel how tensed Sho was. He was hurt but he could somehow sense the sincerity in his words.

“I want us to try too… Sho-chan… I love you… but I’m scared that I’m losing you…”

“You’re not losing me my love. I’m right here…” Sho kissed softly Masaki’s hair as he tightened his arms around his waist, bringing him even closer.
***

Three hours had passed since their talk and Masaki remained awake watching Sho’s sleeping figure. He could see the frown on his husband’s face, as he was mumbling something. It was not usual for Sho to speak in his sleep, so Masaki leaned closer to be able to listen to them.

“I’m sorry Masaki…” a tear left Sho’s eye. “I love you… you and only you… forgive me…” Masaki gasped at the hearing of those words.

“I love you too Sho-chan… and I don’t want to lose you…” Masaki whispered as he caressed softly Sho’s hair. He snuggled closer to him, letting himself fall asleep. Perhaps it was not too late…
…………………………………………………


“We will have two american breakfasts please”

“Very well sir” Once the waiter left Satoshi looked at the man in front of him.

“I’m sorry for not being able to speak last night. I was with my co-worker… He had a serious problem. But you also wasn’t heard well. What happened? You’re scaring me…”

“Captain… I… I fell in love…” the man’s voice was trembling as he uttered the last words.

Satoshi smiled. “But that’s wonderful! You shouldn’t be like that…”

“It seems I always fall for the wrong guys…”

“Nino…” Satoshi whispered as he placed his hand on top of the other’s.

“No! It’s true! Back then I was stupidly in love with… you… even though I knew my chances were zero since you’re not gay… After all, I had enough with everything. A while ago I met this man… the usual way… I mean… at a bar…”

“Why do you continue with that lifestyle Nino?!” Satoshi sighed but said nothing more.

“You know why as you also know that I have changed” Nino stopped as the waiter was back with their orders. “Anyway…” he continued once the waiter had left them “he was very attractive and something made me focus on him… then… we had sex… and I have to admit that it was amazing but I could see in his eyes that there was something… something that I could recognize… he had pain… similar pain to mine… We talked and I was perhaps too straight forward. After that, he was avoiding me, changing bars until last night… I could tell that something was off. He was not his usual self… I wanted to talk to him but that turned out to be the wrong choice…” his voice progressively turned into a whisper.

“Nino... what happened?” Satoshi narrowed his eyes.

“He… We had sex in the toilets…” Nino’s voice cracked a bit.

“He forced you, didn’t he?!” Satoshi’s voice could show the fury he was feeling inside.

“He… yes… But he cried… and then he was lost… Captain I’m telling you he is like me back then…”

“Don’t compare yourself to this person…”

“No captain… I had you… It was you that saved me back then… If you weren’t there then most probably I wouldn’t be here now… Don’t you remember this?” Nino showed his wrist where there was a small tattoo: ‘courage’.

“Nino!” Satoshi tried to make him stop but deep inside he knew Nino was right. He had seen him standing there…
---


“First batter it will be Ninomiya” Satoshi was explaining their tactic for the game.

“Why Ninomiya Captain? Ninomiya is only in first grade…”

Satoshi looked at his classmate and sighed. “He might be a freshman but he has talent and baseball is teamwork. We are all the same!”

“No we aren’t captain. Kazuko is not the same with us! She’s the only one who drools when she looks at you!”

Mocking laughs could be heard in the changing room.

“Are you sure you want to put the sissy hit first?! Won’t she be too delicate to do something like that?!”

Satoshi’s eyes bulged at the hearing of this. “You sh-” he couldn’t finish his words as Nino stormed out of the room crying.

“You two are disqualified from the team. GOT IT?” Satoshi left the room trying to catch up with Nino. He couldn’t find him anywhere. ‘Where are you Nino?’ but then it hit him. He started climbing up the stairs like crazy until he reached the rooftop.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Satoshi was panting.

“I’m doing what I should have done long time ago”

“Really? That’s a pity… I thought you were strong… I guess I was wrong…”

Nino laughed bitterly still standing at the edge of the rooftop. “Strong?! Would you be strong if you found every single day offensive notes hidden in your locker? Would you be strong if you found your notes destroyed and your clothes ripped? Would you be strong if you had to face every single day the disgust written all over the others’ faces or the derogatory – in the best conditions – when they were speaking to you? Tell me would you really be strong like that?” Nino didn’t even try to stop the tears from running down his face.

“Yes I would… Because I would know that I’ve done nothing wrong. It’s them who are at fault, not me…”

“Aren’t you disgusted with me?” Nino’s voice was trembling.

“Why should I be disgusted?” Satoshi’s voice was unexpectedly very calm.

“Because you’re talking to a gay…” Nino lowered his head.

“Nino… being gay has nothing to do with disgust… Those two jerks who got disqualified by the team made me feel disgusted and not you…”

“But they were telling the truth… I am in love with you…” Nino said without looking at Satoshi. He knew that perhaps he shouldn’t say it but he felt that he couldn’t hide it anymore.

“Nino…” Satoshi made a few steps closer to the other and made him step down from his former position. “Please look at me…”

Nino did as he was told with difficulty. He could feel his cheeks be hotter than ever.

“I’m really sorry but I…”

Nino pressed his hands on his ears. “No need to say something more… please…”

Satoshi moved them away. “NO! You will listen to me!” Nino looked at him with teary eyes and a trembling jaw. “I’m sorry that I can’t return your feelings…”

“Stop ple-”

“BUT this doesn’t mean that I’m not happy. I can’t figure out what made you like me since I believe I have nothing good on me… but you somehow made me look at me differently… Maybe there’s something on me that makes me worth as a person… I really admire you Nino for who you are… you’re talented and have a pure heart…”

Nino failed to stop his sobs. “I really wish I could love you back Nino… I mean it! But even if I can’t be next to you like that, I still want to be a part of your life!”

Nino looked at Satoshi and he could see that the other meant his words. “Why? I am-”

“Because it’s you. I don’t need anything else…” Satoshi snapped and embraced him. “I’ll always be there for you so don’t think about doing something stupid ever again!”
***

“Will you come with me?” Nino asked impatiently.

“Why do you want to do it in the first place? Aren’t you scared?”

Nino muffled a laugh. “No I’m not! I want it to be the symbol of my new life… I want it to remind me what I’m capable of”

Satoshi tried to remain calm but seeing the needle ready to touch Nino’s skin made him jump off his seat.

“I’ll be waiting outside…” he was already a university student and Nino had just finished high-school. He knew that Nino wanted to make a new start but still couldn’t figure out why he had to have a tattoo.

Lost in his own thoughts he didn’t listen to the other who was already behind him. “So what do you think captain?”

Satoshi turned around and saw the kanji of courage decorate the left wrist of Nino’s hand. “Why this?”

“Courage is what I learned from you. You know… There were times I had tried to cut my wrists…” Nino looked down on the ground “But then you entered my life and I couldn’t be more grateful even if it wasn’t the way I truly wished for…” he bit shyly his lower lip but continued. “You were the one who made me believe in myself and not be ashamed of who I am. You showed me that what I needed in my life to be able to move forward was courage. And I got it… So I had to have it on me… to remind to myself whenever I feel down!”

“Nino…” Satoshi was at the verge of crying.

“I’m happy that you wanted to enter my life captain! You’re the best friend I could ever have!” Nino started walking forward. “Oh! And I don’t really want to disappoint you… but I’m not in love with you anymore… I guess it was just a stupid crush…”Nino turned a bit his head and pointed his tongue out, winking. “Sorryyyyy!”

Satoshi smiled. ‘That’s how I want to look at you Nino…’
---


“I had you… He has no one…” Nino said in a soft voice looking at his plate in front of him.

“But he still did that to-”

“No it wasn’t like that! I know it! Don’t ask me how… I just do!”

“But still Nino…”

“I want to help him captain. Even if he forced me… he… he cried. I know what it feels to feel rejected and he’s young. I’ve been there and I want to show him that he has a choice but I just don’t know how… I’m not you…”

Satoshi drank some of his orange juice. “Good because you’re Ninomiya Kazunari. There’s no way you can be Ohno Satoshi. So you have to be yourself. I know sometimes you can be too straightforward and that might scare him but time will prove it whether he will stay around you or not. You have to be patient…”

Nino heard Satoshi’s words and nodded. He knew he had been too straightforward and he had made Jun angry. He was a stranger with whom the other had slept only once and he started speaking the truth without knowing exactly what had happened.

“Do you think I’m wrong?”

“What do you mean?” Satoshi’s voice was showing his concern.

“About wanting me to help him or even falling in love…” Nino bit his lip embarrassed, avoiding the other’s gaze. “You know it’s the first time I fall in love with someone after… you…” the last word was whispered.

Satoshi muffled a laugh. “I so love when you get all this embarrassed and shy Nino! I can see that despite your sadness there’s also a flame in your eyes. If that person made you like that then I have nothing to say. You know better than anyone what to do” Satoshi put a bite of his omelet in his mouth. “There’s no rule to tell you when you’ve found the right person. You just know it… like I did with Akiko…” a smile formed at his smile as he thought of his wife but quickly cleared his head. “But tell me, what is his name?”

“Jun” Nino said blushing.

Satoshi was left dumbfounded. Jun?! Where had he heard the name before…? SHO! “Tell me Nino… is this Jun’s surname by any chance Matsumoto?” he asked narrowing his eyes.

“Yes… his name is Matsumoto Jun… at least that was what his ID had on… But… Why?”
…………………………………..


Jun was sitting on the floor of his new small apartment. Everything was ready before he could react or oppose.

He had drunk the third beer and was ready to open the fourth can.

“If you think you have won Sakurai Sho you’re wrong… I won’t let you have all the fun with your beloved husband, skiing and drinking wine”

His fingers traced the pendant around his neck. “Tomorrow it’s your fifth anniversary...” his voice cracked as he took a tighter hold of the small piece of jewelry. “Don’t worry… this time I can finally keep my promise to you… I’ll make sure Masa-nii experiences the same pain I experienced that day…”

He raised the can in the air, smiling bitterly. “Tomorrow, my beloved brother I promise, I’ll make you get a taste of my very own hell! Cheers!”





TO BE CONTINUED…




A.N. Minna! Chapter 6 is up! ^^ Aiba found out about the kiss... but Sakuraiba did have a somehow 'honest' conversation. Perhaps the kiss made Sho see things clearer and take some serious action. He really wants to try to work things out with Aiba.
Also there were some revelations about Nino... that's why he can understand Jun and wants to help him. You'll learn more about him in the next ones! ;) Oh! And those who thought of  Ohno you guessed right!!! Nino might come and play the role Ohno was in his! :)
Jun seems determined though... :( He's suffering! There were also some scattered hints about his past but you will learn everything in the next one! Promise!!!


I hope you enjoyed it and your comments as always are <333!!!