Title: A Broken Promise

Author: Andy-chan (antimiya88)

Special thanks for all her support to my dear cchrysiida_tori <3

Pairings: Sakuraiba (main), Sakumoto, Matsumiya (side), Junba (brothers), Yama (friendship)

Genre: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance

Rating: R - NC-17

Summary: "I promise you to always be by your side… I promise to never hurt you… I promise to never let you down…" This was the promise Sho had made to Masaki. Seven years have passed since then and Sho knows positively that he still loves his partner more than his life. But sometimes life has unexpected surprises. Will he be able to keep his promise or not?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys unfortunately

Chapter 1   /   Chapter 2 /   Chapter 3   /   Chapter 4   /   Chapter 5   / Chapter 6

“Hello. We have booked a room; Name Sakurai Sho”

The employee at the reception checked the list and gave them their key. “I hope you enjoy your stay here gentlemen”

Sho and Masaki smiled and headed to their room. It was quite simple, of traditional taste but with all the modern equipment.

Sho wrapped his arms around Masaki’s neck who had already moved towards the window. “Do you like it?”

Masaki’s hands came on top of Sho’s squeezing them softly. “Yes Sho-chan… it’s very beautiful…” he tried to keep his voice calm but with no success.

“Masaki?” Sho came in front of him and caressed his cheek. “Baby are you alright? Perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to come to a ski resort…”

Masaki shook his head. “No Sho-chan… it’s just that… it’s been a while since we have been on vacation like that… just the two of us. I… I want to cherish it Sho-chan…” a shy smile appeared on his face, making Sho even more willing to try his best for them.

“I want to cherish it too my love! But now wouldn’t it be a good idea if we went to have some fun?  I heard there are some special sleighs we can ride together and there’s also a teacher for seat ski… What do you say?”

Masaki flashed a wide smile. “Don’t get overwhelmed Sho-chan, I bet I’ll leave you behind…”

Sho pinched his nose. “We’ll see about that…”
***

“Are you sure you don’t want to start by yourself? I know you love alpine more… Here at the sleighs it’s only us and the children…”

Sho sat behind Masaki on the sleigh, ready to push them down to hill. “I do love alpine ski but I love holding you even more…” he placed a soft peck on Masaki’s neck and without warning gave a strong push, making them slide down the hill.

He could hear Masaki scream loudly. He had missed it so much. He was stupid and as time was passing he realized even more how stupid he was. Instead of continuing the same lifestyle he changed it completely, because he had decided that this was what Masaki wanted. He had never asked the other. But now, seeing Masaki shine perhaps for the first time after the accident he knew how wrong he was.

He could feel the excitement, the joy the other was feeling and made him feel even happier… even more complete… making him regret all this time that had passed by simply like that…

He had lost the sense of time as they kept playing on the snow.

“Sho-chan aren’t you listening to me?” Sho blinked a few times before realizing that he was lost in his thoughts.

“What baby?”

“My stomach protests. It wants to have some lunch and wine…” Masaki said shyly, as he snuggled into Sho’s arms.

Sho felt as if they were starting all over again. He had forgotten how it felt to have a relaxed Masaki next to him who’s not afraid of showing willingness for more physical contact. Is it that he feels more reassured? So it was my fault… Sho’s mind kept replaying all these thoughts, still trying to get everything.

“Sho-chan…” Masaki turned a bit and looked at him closer.

Sho smiled and kissed his red because of the cold nose. “Let’s get inside!” He carried him, bridal style, till the wheelchair and they headed back to their room. Masaki insisted on having lunch at their room.
***

“It’s so picturesque…” Masaki mumbled as his gaze traveled around the view.

“They have brought it my love!” Sho turned him around and pecked his lips. “Come!”

They were already sitting across each other. Soon warm red wine was filled in the glasses. “Cheers Masaki!” Sho raised his glass.

Masaki raised his own, slightly blushing. “Cheers, Sho-chan!”

Sho smiled watching his husband putting a slightly bigger than he could actually handle portion of sausage pie into his mouth. It had been quite long ago since he had seen him like that. And the thoughts were there again… occupying his mind. He was afraid of bringing such an unpleasant topic of discussion in the middle of their vacation but he couldn’t hold himself either. For the past days, his mind had done millions of thoughts concerning him and Masaki… Especially since Jun left their apartment. It’s now or never Sho…

He took a deep breath looked straight into his husband’s eyes. “Masaki… can I ask you something?”

Masaki sipped a bit of his wine. “Of course Sho-chan”

“Why are you so different? I mean… whenever I tried to take you out you were nervous. You preferred to stay at home while now, you seem rather relaxed, you seem like really enjoying yourself and I would like to know the reason… Was it…” Sho gulped, lowering his gaze. “Was it my fault? Be honest Masaki… please…”

Masaki put his hand on top of Sho’s and squished it a bit. “It was you Sho-chan… but it was also me… I… Since my accident I felt useless. I stopped my job and I preferred to remain at home. I hated how people would look at me and I knew that I only made things more difficult for you and I didn’t want to ruin your life more than I already had…”

“Masaki you-” Sho snapped but Masaki didn’t let him.

“Let me finish Sho-chan. I knew that you loved me but I could sense that you wished not to touch me… not that I don’t understand you… but it made me feel worse… made me want to close up to myself more. I didn’t know what to think. Was it that I was repulsive? Disgusting? Or even worse… indifferent? I was angry with myself that couldn’t react… that my body couldn’t express my feelings for you… So could it be that you believed my love for you was fading?”

Masaki blinked away a few tears before continuing. “Whenever you came to me and became more demanding you’d stop. I felt relieved and stressful in the same time. Relieved because I felt ashamed for having a useless body and stressful because of the thought that you might don’t want me anymore. That was my mistake… I never tried to speak to you… I never ever tried to tell you my thoughts… my fears… and then… Jun came…” Masaki took a deep breath.

“And my biggest nightmare came to life. The abstract concept of temptation, of which I was afraid the most, had taken form; a young and dangerously beautiful form…”

Sho couldn’t believe his ears. Did that mean that Masaki knew everything?! He was speechless. He thought all the air had left his lungs, leaving him drown. Masaki… He had sensed that the other might have noticed some differences in him but not that it was specifically for Jun.

Masaki though had closed his eyes and kept speaking. “At first I didn’t want to believe it. You can say that I was in a stupid denial but… then I was sure…” the last words were spoken as a whisper. He felt Sho stiffen but he didn’t let go of his hand.

“I… I had almost taken the decision to let… you… go…” his voice trembled a bit as he spoke the last words. “Not because I was mad at you… I’ve been expecting that since the day I became like this… but because I knew there was no other way…”

“Masaki…” Sho tried to speak, feeling hot tears in his eyes.

Masaki shook his head fast. “Let me finish Sho-chan… you though… you showed me that there was another way… a way that included me… I couldn’t believe you had actually chosen me… I mean with J-” he took a deep breath before continuing. “…Jun you’d have so much more… but you chose me… I won’t deny you hurt me… it still hurts when I think about it but I can’t be mad… not when a part of the cause is me…”

Sho placed his other hand on top of his husband’s. “It’s me… it’s me who’s at fault… I-” he had no other choice but to stop speaking as Masaki’s fingers came to cover his lips.

“It’s not you… it’s us… and if it wasn’t Jun… it might be Hiroki… Keitarou… Tatsuya… it doesn’t matter the name in this case Sho-chan… the main point is that he would come one day… and that’s because of both of us… we never spoke clearly… but… I want to rip that page and make a new start… with no hidden thoughts, wishes or fears! I want us to become like we were back then…”

A faint smile appeared on Masaki’s face. “You told me that you’ve never seen this relaxed wince the incident… You’re right… I never let myself relax… I always thought of myself as the disabled one… I saw myself through a certain perspective that already had flaws… but after almost losing you… I saw clearly that I wanted you… and… I wasn’t the ‘disabled’ Masaki; instead, I was simply Masaki… Masaki who loves Sho-chan. All I’m asking you is to see me like that Masaki as well”

Sho’s face was traced by some tears, he had made no effort to clean away. “You’re no one else but my Masaki…” He moved to Masaki’s side and kneeled, as he turned him around to face him. “I’m sorry… I know it might be useless but…”

Masaki’s hand came to caress his hair. “I’ve already forgiven you Sho… If I hadn’t I wouldn’t be here right now…” his voice was sweet, making Sho feel even guiltier.

His gaze turned lower and focused on Masaki’s lap that was covered with his favorite blanket. “Masaki I swear… I didn’t… I never slep-”

“It’s in the past Sho-chan. Now you’re here with me right?” Masaki smiled leaned closer to his husband.

Sho couldn’t form a single word. He just nodded, taking Masaki into his arms. He needed to feel his warmth, to feel his hot breath close to him.

They ate their lunch in a comfortable silence, reflecting perhaps for the first time what they could both almost lose… Sho had proposed to go outside after they had finished and take advantage of the ski slopes for as long as the sun would allow them, but Masaki had denied it, wanting to remain at their room.

“I want us to cuddle in the bed Sho-chan… I’ve really missed it…” After hearing that, there was no way Sho could go against it.

Sho had carried Masaki to the bed where he placed him carefully on his back. The way his hair was spread on the pillow… the way his lips were reddish and swollen… the way his eyes were sparkling made Masaki even more beautiful to Sho, making him realize one more time what he almost threw away.

“I’ve made lots of mistakes Masaki… I know that… I’m the worst… I’ve disappointed you but…”

Masaki gripped the sleeves of Sho’s shirt as he heard the last words. He could feel how fast his husband’s heart was beating and all he wanted was to take the pain away.

Sho caressed softly his cheek and then his arm. “I love you Masaki… Even if you don’t believe me I love you and I will prove it to you. Till now I know I was a jerk but not anymore. I swear everything will change… I’ll do anything baby… anything…”

Masaki knew that Sho was at the verge of crying and he hated it.

“I want us to work through this nightmare Masaki…” Sho moved him a bit so that he could meet his eyes; these so beautiful eyes of his. He could see the pain in his them and he hated it. He only wished to see them sparkling out of joy, out of excitement, but all he ended up doing the last years with his actions was to fill them with insecurity, making them lose their brightness. His palm brushed feather like Masaki’s eyelids, still afraid if he had no right to do it. “I will prove to you that I have the right to be by your side my love… I-”

“Kiss me…” Sho’s eyes bulged still trying to understand what he had just heard. “If you mean what you said, kiss me…”

Sho took some locks away from his husband’s face and leaned closer trembling. He closed his eyes as his lips touched the lips of his beloved one. He broke it after a few seconds. It was impossible for him to kiss Masaki when images from his kiss with Jun kept popping into his head.

“Sho-chan…” Sho closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He hated to hear Masaki being so sad.  “You said that you will prove it to me that you have the right to be by my side…” Sho looked straight at Masaki’s eyes and nodded. “Then kiss me not like that…” he leaned closer to Sho’s face. “Kiss me how you used to… I need to see that Sho-chan…” Masaki’s grips at Sho’s arms tightened. “I want to see that Sho-chan again…” he said nothing more and just pecked Sho’s lips again and again.

Sho cupped his husband’s face before claiming his lips this time passionately, Jun totally forgotten. Yes… he knew that taste. This kiss had nothing in common with the one he had tasted with Jun before. This was what he wanted, what he needed. Soon his tongue sought permission to enter the other’s mouth.

Masaki was already surrendered to the kiss, his hands locking around Sho’s nape in an attempt to make him come even closer if it was possible. His eyes were teary but he couldn’t tell the reason they were there; was it happiness; was it sadness; was it doubt; was it relief; he just wanted to feel Sho. Even if his body didn’t react for the first time he was feeling the adrenaline running through his veins, making him feel hotter.

Sho was so lost in the kiss that it took him several minutes to realize that a big bulge was already pressing Masaki’s hip. He knew that the latter couldn’t feel it but he felt ashamed. He tried to move a bit without breaking the kiss when he felt a hand forbidding him to do so. The same hand reached slowly for his rock hard member, rubbing it slowly. Sho looked bewildered at Masaki who had his eyes closed.

“Turn around” His voice was showing determination, leaving no room for denial.

Sho found himself on his back, looking at his husband who used his hands’ power to move lower, so that his head was now facing his crotch. Masaki took off both his trousers and boxers, leaving his erection free. He didn’t have the time to think about anything as he felt a hot mouth, his husband’s deliciously hot mouth around his hard member. He had forgotten what it felt like… he had forgotten how much he was craving for his touch…

He felt the tongue, almost experimentally, circling and flipping around the tip, accompanied by quite hard sucks. Sho’s eyes rolled back as he felt even more heat concentrating in his lower part, making his whole body sweat and tremble because of the sensation. Masaki seemed to have noticed as he continued the hard sucks, his head bobbing up and down while toying with his hands Sho’s balls.

Sho couldn’t resist feeling almost ready to come started thrusting inside Masaki’s mouth, hitting the back of his throat but Masaki never complained; instead he kept doing what he was doing till then faster. Feeling the precum running down his throat he stopped and once again he smashed their lips together with even more passion as the hand took charge pumping the throbbing member in a fast rhythm. It didn’t take Sho too many strokes to come hard, groaning in the kiss.

To his surprise he felt Masaki smiling in the kiss.

“You can’t imagine how happy I am that I saw that Sho again…” Masaki said shyly as he caressed Sho’s cheek.
…………………………………………….


“You’re really determined aren’t you?” Jun froze. He knew that voice well. But why did he hear it? He wasn’t supposed to hear it ever again… He turned around to see a smiling, as if nothing had happened, Nino. He couldn’t believe this guy. He had showed him so many times that he wanted him out of his life… he had even… raped him and there he was… again. Why?

At a second thought, he realized that he was not in Tokyo but in Hokkaido… What the hell was Nino doing there? Is he a stalker? He was snapped out of his thoughts as he heard Nino bursting into hard laughs.

“You’re thinking what the hell I’m doing here, aren’t you?” Nino said smirking.

Jun was left dumbfounded. This guy… seemed as if he was reading his mind… as if he couldn’t hide anything from him and that… scared him.

“Don’t look that surprised… Someone told me that you would be here… and I also can figure out why…”

Jun’s eyes narrowed. Who does he think he is? Always pretentious… you know nothing… “No… you can’t and it’s not your business either!” he turned around to walk towards the bus station when he heard the other’s answer that made his legs totally unable to make a single step forwards.

“I can – you’re here to destroy your brother’s life” Jun turned around bewildered but Nino continued on the same tone. “And it is my business…” he made a few steps closer to Jun until their faces were only inches apart. “…and that’s because I’m in love with you…”

In love with me?! His ears were buzzing. Love?! Why did this guy had to use this particular word of all? He had enough of love… Love made him what he was today… he needed no love… he had loved once and that only brought pain in the end… nothing but pain…

He didn’t know a few tears had made their appearance on his face until he felt Nino’s thumbs, gently wiping them away.

“… and because I was once like you…” Nino embraced him tightly. “I’ve been where you are now, Jun… I know what it feels to live your life without meaning… without purpose... without hope… but there is… and I want to make you see that there is…”

Jun felt his heart beating like crazy. He wanted to remain in those arms forever, to let himself cry till there were no more tears left in his eyes but no… he couldn’t forget… he shouldn’t forget… no… he must not forget… not his promise…

He made a few steps behind. “I’m sorry Nino…” he climbed fast on the bus that had just arrived on the bus stop, trying to ignore the other’s desperate calls.

He closed his eyes and looked ahead. “Now Masa-nii… let’s see who will laugh last!”
***

He was in his room. He had made sure that it was near his brother’s. He was wearing only his pair of jeans as he had just gotten out of the shower. He could feel the pain in his chest but he couldn’t go back now. He had made that promise four years ago… His hand touched the small pendant. For you…

He sent the message praying that the other would come.  20 minutes passed… forty… sixty… yet no trace of him.  He was almost desperate when he heard soft knocks on the door.

Smirking widely he opened the door. “Finally… Sh-” his eyes narrowed. The one in front of him wasn’t Sho but Nino. “What the hell do you want from me damn it? I said to leave me alone! Which part don’t you understand exactly…? Tell me!”

Nino said nothing in return; he just pushed Jun aside and entered the room. “Wow it looks cozy…” he said looking around, ignoring Jun.

The latter slammed the door and pinned forcefully Nino on the bed. His eyes seemed as if they were throwing flames. “Did you enjoy it so much that you want to be fucked like that again?” he tried to keep his voice cold, emotionless… he needed to make this guy fear him so that he can finally leave him for good. “I will gladly repeat it!”

Nino looked straight into the other’s eyes without any trace of fear or hesitation. “No you won’t…”

Jun smiled bitterly as he tried to fight back a few tears. “How can you be so sure damn it?”

Nino leaned closer and pecked Jun’s lips. “Because I can see through you… you’re not a bad guy Jun…”

“I… I raped you… what more do you need? Why do you insist on coming to my life?” 

“I told you. I’m in love with you…” Nino whispered, in a shy tone.

“How can you not be sure that I won’t rape you again… right now?” Jun’s holds on Nino’s wrists tightened.

“You will prove it yourself…” Jun looked at Nino confused. “…by making love to me…”

Jun said nothing; instead, he just claimed the other’s lips passionately, shoving his tongue into the welcoming hot mouth, exploring every single inch of it, while his hands came to unbutton the shirt, revealing the slim torso. He started licking, kissing, sucking everywhere he could reach. He could feel his member getting harder and pressed his body even more.

Nino’s small and fast breaths were making him eager to work even more; those beautiful, lustful eyes that never let him out of sight were hypnotizing. He felt loved… after four whole years of torture he felt loved but that hurt… because he shouldn’t allow himself to love… yet he had already fallen into the other’s trap.

Nino seemed to have taken notice and turned them around, making Jun fall into his back. His tongue traveled south towards the hardness that pinned him all this time. He took off the clothes, covering the whole length with his mouth. He knew well how confused Jun was and his denial towards his feelings. Even if he didn’t know if the other would listen to him, he wanted at least to show him that to love was not something to be afraid of… even if sometimes brought along pain.

He could sense Jun coming closer to his orgasm and fast got rid of his own trousers and boxers and settled himself on top of Jun, the tip of the latter’s cock touching his hole. He was ready to lower himself but Jun stopped him making him fall next to him.

“You said you wanted me to make love to you…” his voice was hoarse… low. “Let me then do it properly…”

Nino’s face was lost in the pillow underneath him as he felt a covered in lube finger entering him slowly, followed after a couple of minutes by a second and then a third one.

Having his prostate repetitively hit, Nino couldn’t hold it anymore. “I’m ready Jun… please…”

But instead of feeling the cock entering him, he felt arms grabbing him by his shoulders, turning him around, so that now he could face Jun.

“I want to see your face…” Jun said in a sweet tone, taking a few blocks of hair away from Nino’s eyes.

The latter smiled, hugging him tightly as Jun started moving inside of him. It felt more than perfect… it was ecstatic. This time he could feel the passion but above all he could feel the tenderness in the other’s caresses, kisses, touches. They both came after a while screaming each other’s names.

Nino was still trying to catch his breath when he heard Jun whispering. “Nino… I want you to make love to me…”

Nino turned his head confused. “Please…” Jun whispered with a trembling voice. Nino’s fingers came to wipe away a tear that started rolling down his cheek. “I want to feel you inside of me… I want to feel loved… tonight I need it more than anything else…”

Nino lift himself a bit and locked their lips into a kiss. I’ll show you what it means to feel loved Jun…
***

“Why were you so disappointed when you realized that it was me outside your door?”

“I was expecting someone else…” Jun said avoiding the other’s gaze next to him.

Nino made him look at him though. “Why do you want to destroy your brother’s life so much?”

Jun laughed bitterly. “Because he killed a part of me…”

Nino’s eyes left on the small pendant that was around Jun’s neck. “The person who gave you this necklace?”

Jun shook his head negatively. “No one gave it to me… I took it myself…”

“Can I see it?” Nino asked in a soft voice.

Jun said nothing and just took it off and gave it to him. It seemed like a small box. He opened it. Inside there was a small picture of two boys, from which one was undoubtedly Jun.

“J+T?”

Jun took a deep breath. “Yes... Jun and T- Toma… he was my boyfriend… we were together for two years…”

Nino closed the pendant and gave it back to Jun who put it immediately back to his neck.

“When did you break up?”

Jun laughed loud but didn’t reply. Instead, he stood off the bed and grabbed his clothes, starting dressing up.

“You should get going now… I want you to have left the room before I get back…”

Nino managed to grab Jun’s arm before opening the door.

“When did you break up?”

Jun lowered his head. “We didn’t…”

“But you used past tense…”

Jun looked at him smirking bitterly. “That’s why because four years ago he fell off the rooftop of our school… Now if you excuse me…”

Nino saw the door in front of him slamming unable to say anything. So that’s why…

Jun…




TO BE CONTINUED…

A.N. Sooo minna chapter 7 is up! ^^ For the first time, Sakuraiba had an honest talk and were able to surpass some obstacles and come closer to each other!!! There's still a lot to talk about but the first steps are done! See? I wasn't very harsh on them this time, was I?
As for Matsumiya, Jun really wants to let himself love and cherish his feelings for Nino but in the same time he can't... he's afraid to do so. They also had some intimate time together... Finally we got to learn what was this pendant - since there were only hints in the previous chaps - and... why Jun has changed into such a jerk! He's lost his first love - my poor Toma :'( - in  a really bad way when he was only sixteen. Now how and why is Masaki involved in that since it was obviously a suicide you'll learn in the next chapter! I promise everything will get clear!!! :)
I believe that this chapter was a lot more 'romantic' than the previous ones, right? And I promise that there will be happy ending!!! I can't write differently! ;)

I finally finished this series - there two more chapters and an epilogue! yeah! I had a writer's block - I knew what was going to happen but I lacked the details and it just felt like something was missing but now everything's found its place!

Anyway I stop here! :P

I really hope you enjoyed it and as always your comments are <333!!!



See you next week!