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Title: Ai no Honoo
Author: Andy-chan (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
antimiya88)
antimiya88)Pairings: Ohmiya, Sakuraiba (both main pairings)
Genre: Historical AU, Romance, Drama, Angst (slight)
Rating: PG-15
Summary: Ninomiya Kazunari is a former courtesan, chosen to enter the Emperor's Ooku. There, he meets different people: The Emperor's favorite, Aiba Masaki who, at first glance, seems cheerful and perfectly adjusted to his life there, but proves to be someone with important secrets. He also meets Ohno Satoshi, Ooku's main guard who despises the concept of the Ooku and looks down at its members - particularly the male ones. Nino thinks that the best would be to stay away from him as much as possible. He knows his position well, even if he hates it.The only thing that keeps him strong is a memory...
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys, unfortunately.
Part 1
“Don’t you want to say goodbye?”
Nino turned around and saw the place where he had spent more than nine years of his life. He had first come when he was still a kid and at the moment he was leaving as a young man. A bitter smile formed at his lips. Goodbye? I have said my goodbyes long ago…
“No… I have said everything I had to… we can go now Matsumoto-san…” Without waiting for the other man to make the first step, Nino climbed on the carriage that had come to take him away from ‘Hanabira’ and lead him to his new life.
Jun sighed but said nothing more, following the other. “You look troubled” he said in a serious tone, as he sat across him. “The reason is that you’re leaving ‘Hanabira’, isn’t it? I find it logical though… It’s been your home for a long time…”
Nino denied to look at the other one. “Home…” he mumbled and sighed, his gaze locked on a tree a few meters away, visible from the carriage window. “‘Hanabira’ was my shelter for nine years… I have forgotten how a home is supposed to feel… what a home is supposed to be… It’s already been eleven years since I left the only place on Earth I could call home… someone would say that eleven years are not many but… for me it just feels like too long…”
Jun looked at the young man in front of him carefully. He had seen him with the clients of ‘Hanabira’, as well as with him, when he pretended to be one during his search for the new member of the Emperor’s Ooku, and was amazed by his skills. Nino would never exaggerate his moves or words; everything about him was naturally graceful. Despite his small figure, he could capture you with his dance, his voice was melodic… he was like a siren that only too well educated ears such as Jun’s could escape from its trap. He needed proper education before he could serve the Emperor himself; that was certain, but Jun was sure that he had found the perfect one. You should feel proud and happy… yet you seem so sad…
“Aren’t you feeling happy to have been chosen for the Emperor’s Ooku? I would say that it’s an honor… Your future somehow depends on your very own hands now… you can form it the way you want… you will have chances you never had before…” Jun tried to cheer the young man up although he knew it would be impossible at his current state. It was more than obvious that he was feeling sad… almost empty. His gaze could say it all.
“I’m grateful that you considered me as someone who actually has the worth for the Emperor’s Ooku, Matsumoto-san, and you should know that I will do my best so that you won’t feel disappointed with me” Nino turned his eyes to Jun “I will serve his Majesty with loyalty and dedication… I can assure you of that…”
Jun chuckled slightly and looked outside. I have no doubt that you will but why do you sound so empty?! Do you still have grudge for the turn of events in your life? It’s not that he didn’t understand him. As a matter of fact, he was sitting at Nino’s place of the carriage fifteen years ago, feeling the same way; empty. But he also knew that there was no point of feeling like that. Life had to be accepted first and then all that was left to do was to try to pull out the best of the path it had been provided to everyone.
“You will find good people in the Ooku” Jun continued in an attempt to make the other relax a bit. “I’m not saying there aren’t cases of rivalry when it comes to the Emperor’s favor but you’ll never experience a move behind your back. I always make sure that the rules are strictly followed and there’s respect among the members” satisfied with himself, Jun realized that he had gained Nino’s attention “I’m sure you’ll be able to make good friends; perhaps that will help you feel the Ooku as ‘home’… one day”
Nino flinched at the hearing of home. Why does this person insist so much on mentioning it? I don’t want to feel the Ooku as my home… I had a home once… and then… it hurts… I don’t need a home… I’m perfectly fine as I am…
“I’m… glad to hear that… I look forward to meeting with the other members then” he tried to reply as polite as possible without letting his voice show any trace of his uneasiness and fear.
He was the number one in ‘Hanabira’ and he knew what it meant. He could only imagine the Ooku being even worse. Friends?! As if there’s a way to make friends when everyone knows that life goes by the rule ‘your death, my life’… just because no one dared or succeeded to do so till now, it doesn’t actually mean that this is not what happens…
***
“Here, this is for you”
Nino thanked the other man and took the ball with the rice and the grilled fish in his hands. They had stopped for dinner, since they would be travelling for the rest of the night. It was a tradition that during the summer, the Emperor would move to the palace, located a few hours out of the Capital.
“You are not going to ask me what kind of man the Emperor is?!” Jun asked amused. The other seemed to be lost in his thoughts and even if they had traveled for hours, he had made no questions about the one he had been called to serve.
Nino stopped chewing. Do I really want to know? No… but I need it, if I want to live peacefully and find his place in there.
“If you were so kind to tell me, Matsumoto-san…” he mumbled under his breath, causing a small laugh to come out from Jun’s throat.
“I can’t believe how interested you were in everything concerning me, when you thought of me only as a client of ‘Hanabira’ and now that you are not in that position, you’re not afraid to show me your indifference even for the Emperor himself!”
Nino wanted the Earth to open and swallow him up. “No… Matsumoto-san… I… I’m a bit lost in my thoughts today… I’d never be uninterested in someone as important as the Emperor, whom I will serve from now on…”
Jun drank some water. “Don’t try your magic skills on me… I know that you are, as well as that you will never show it to his Majesty himself but you have to be careful… you never know when you might be watched and if such a thing happens, that’s something that lies out of my power”
Nino lowered his head. “I’m sorry…” he whispered.
“I didn’t say that to tell me that you’re sorry… I just gave you a piece of advice…”
Nino looked at Jun, frowning. “What kind of man is the Emperor?”
“Interest?”
“Curiosity…” Nino replied honestly. “…and duty… I suppose?!”
“He’s a tough man to please… I won’t lie to you; demanding yet fair… He asks for devotion and if he truly gets it, he can be very generous…”
“…Like with you, I guess?” Nino dared to ask.
Jun lowered his gaze, his lips having a trace of smile. “You are right… The Emperor has treated me in a way that I should feel more than indebted to him for the rest of my life…” Nino could detect nostalgia and something else… something like bitterness in the other’s voice but dared to ask no more. He knew his place and the last question had already crossed the line.
“Is he very old?” Nino asked next; the Emperor’s age was bugging him since the beginning.
Jun laughed at that. “You will definitely make a good friend in the Ooku… You two sound more alike than I thought at first…” he paused for a bit before turning his gaze to Nino. “He is not young but surely not as old as you may be afraid of…”
Nino couldn’t help but sighing relieved. He had many experiences with old men and knew how unpleasant and uncomfortable such an intercourse could be. At least, I won’t have to endure that…
“He’s a man with many duties… your duty is to make him forget about them; make him feel human… loved… be honest inside when you’re with him and you will see it yourself… his fairness and care…” The driver gave them a signal that they should continue their journey. Jun stood up and gave his empty ball to the servant that was travelling along with them. “You should remember only one thing… True love can only occur between two men…”
Nino followed the other one without saying anything. He had heard that phrase millions of times, since he had first started his training at ‘Hanabira’. ‘True love can only occur between two men’… I can only believe that because of him… It was nothing more than a vague memory, someone might say that it was a childhood fantasy, but it somehow made him feel stronger… alive.
…………………………………
“Do you really have to go?”
“I can’t stay here my love. We will be caught and then you will face exile and I will face death… I really don’t care about me but you… I would never forgive myself if something happened to you…”
“Sho… please don’t scare me like that!” the man, still lying on the bed, whined, his knuckles turning white as he grabbed forcefully the sheets underneath him.
“Masaki… It’s the truth… and you know it!” Sho sat at the edge of the bed and caressed softly his lover’s hair. “It’s forbidden what we do… So right, yet… forbidden…”
Masaki hugged the other tightly, letting his head bury in the crook of his neck. “Why should it be like that?” he said in a trembling voice. “I love you and you love me…”
“Because you’re the Emperor’s favorite member of the Ooku and I’m his personal advisor…”
“I wish I wasn’t a part of the Ooku… I wish I could be free… I wish I-”
Sho pecked Masaki’s head before making him look at his eyes. “Then I wouldn’t be able to meet you my love… Be patient Masaki… I don’t know what we can do… but… we will find a solution…”
Masaki gripped Sho’s arms. “We can escape… together!”
Sho shook his head. “It is too dangerous… I would never forgive myself if something happened to you, Masaki… please”
“But… I can’t stand it anymore Sho… I want to be able to see you and talk to you in the light of the sun… I hate it when his Majesty calls me to dance for him during the dinner and be obliged to go to him when you’re sitting only a couple of meters away… we…” he looked deep into his lover’s eyes. “We can leave together… In the forest… it would be difficult for them to find us…”
“Masaki… I’m someone who knows how to calculate things and speak nicely… I’m not someone who can hold a katana and defend our lives…”
“But…”
“We will find a solution… I promise you that… I love you too much not to try… but… please… be patient…”
“I love you” Masaki whispered, his eyes already being slightly teary.
“I love you too. But now go back to sleep and I promise I will come in two days”
Masaki leaned closer and kissed the other, softly at first, gradually with more intensity and passion, till they both needed air. “I will be waiting, Sho…”
Sho smiled gently and pecked his lover’s lips once again, before putting on his clothes and leaving his room carefully not to be seen. It had already been two years; two years since playing with fire. He knew this was a mistake but he could swear that never a mistake had felt so right.
He had seen Masaki for the first time when the Emperor had called for him during a dinner with the five most powerful shoguns. He knew that this was one of the Emperor’s tactics but when he saw the man himself, moving his body perfectly to the rhythm of the shamisen that was heard from the back of the room, he had it confirmed; like something else… he was completely spellbound. His heart was dancing fast when he was asked by this man if he needed sake. He seemed more like a vision rather than a real person.
From that night, his mind was occupied with him. Masaki… he had heard the Emperor calling him that way and felt jealous; jealous because he couldn’t have him. Months later, he realized that Masaki would look at him… even occasionally smile at him shyly and then, one night, when the Emperor was absent from the palace, he found the same Masaki, the source of his numerous restless nights, standing in his office. He wanted to send him away but when he felt those lips, which he had dreamt of tasting hundreds of times, touching his, he knew that there was no way back. Masaki was his…
***
“Aren’t you a bit too careless, Sakurai-san?” a voice from behind startled Sho. He had been seen by the one he should have avoided the most. “I have to admit I never had you for such a brave person… going for the Emperor’s favorite whore…”
Sho’s hands clenched into fists. How could this person speak of Masaki like that? “I know that you hate the existence of the Ooku…” he slowly turned around to meet the eyes of the one who had spoken. “But that doesn’t mean that you have the right to talk about the members with no respect… Ohno-san…”
“I have never hidden my emotions when it comes to the Ooku and I suppose that’s why the Emperor has chosen me to be the main guard of it. He knows well that it is safe, as I detest it… little does he know that there are others he should be warned of…”
Sho knew that could mean the end for both of them. “It’s my fault… I was the one who entered Aiba’s room and forced him…”
“You’ve been forcing him for two years?” the smaller man said ironically, raising his eyebrow. “And Aiba is smiling to you all the time?! Really?!”
“You… you know?!” Sho couldn’t believe his ears.
“Of course I know… but as I said I detest the Ooku and what it represents… The male members of it have lost their identity as men and turned into a well-trained resource of fake happiness and forced devotion… so you can consider yourself lucky… I would just advise you to be more careful in the future… if you want to remain alive… you and him…”
Sho was left dumbfounded watching the man walking away. He had never spoken to him much… Ohno Satoshi wasn’t a man to talk to in general… he was distant… mysterious. You hate it I know… but why didn’t you give our names? Wouldn’t that satisfy you? I don’t understand… Do you really hate the love between men… or… is it that you only hate the Ooku as a concept? There was something in the other’s gaze when he mentioned his relationship with Masaki. Could it be that he understands? But how could that be possible? He’s always distant with a cold gaze… as if he remains alone by choice…
Sho sighed. I have to be careful… not for me but for my love… His gaze turned to the dark sky. Masaki…
…………………………………………..
“Please, follow me…” Jun opened the big wooden doors to reveal a garden that could only equalize paradise. There were hundreds of trees, flowers and two small lakes at the back.
“This is the main garden of the Ooku in the summer palace. The part on your left is the women’s area and the one on your right the one for the men. There are specific rules about when and how you are able to walk around… the Emperor is very sensitive when it comes to the Ooku”
Nino was following Jun, throwing fast glances around him. It was certainly very beautiful; at least so it seemed. After having walked for a couple of minutes, he realized that Jun had already passed by the part that’s supposed to be the one for the male members. They walked a bit further till they reached the last part of the garden, in the south where only a small house could be found.
“Aiba-san! We have arrived!” Jun said quite loud.
Not much later, the door opened, revealing a tall young man dressed in a green-turquoise kimono. His hair was wavy and reached a bit lower his shoulders. Nino had to admit that he looked very beautiful; his characteristics were quite feminine yet his whole appearance had something manly. His posture was what could only be described as graceful.
The young man stopped in front of Nino. “My name is Aiba Masaki. I will be the responsible for your training period here at the Ooku”
Nino frowned. More training?! But of course that would only be expected. The Emperor had nothing in common with the clients he had served all of these years at ‘Hanabira’. This was the Ooku. He took a deep breath as he bowed. “Nice to meet you Aiba-san. My name is Ninomiya Kazunari. I’m at your help…” he muttered as polite as possible. He knew well that good first impressions were playing a very important role if he actually wanted to be successful; especially with members higher in the hierarchy like this Aiba Masaki.
“You can call me Masaki. We will live together for a month and I will make sure you learn everything you need in order to be in position to serve the Emperor when called” Masaki flashed his widest smile.
“He’s the number one here… Ninomiya… the Emperor’s favorite… You should grasp everything you can! I will leave you now… I have to give my report. I will come back tomorrow morning”
Jun left and Nino was led into the house. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. This person in front of him was the number one?! He could tell that he would be among the favorites but the number one?! Why would he accept the role of the responsible for a new member’s training?
“Excuse me Aiba-san but Matsumoto-san just mentioned that you are the number one… the Emperor’s favorite… Is it true?!
The other man smiled. “Yes… It’s true”
“And you will train me?!” Nino asked before he could hold himself back.
“If you don’t learn the secrets from the number one then who will be able to teach you everything you need to know in order to survive and find your place here?”
“No… what I meant is that… well you are the number one and…”
“And I wouldn’t sell out my secrets? I will keep some personal secrets for myself. That’s obvious Kazunari-kun… but only because you should create yours as well… You must find your identity in the Ooku… Something that will make you different from every single member; something that will make the Emperor ask for you and only you…”
“But you could lose your…”
“Place?!”
Nino lowered his gaze. For once again, he had dared to tell things he shouldn’t.
“I wasn’t the number one since I got here and I won’t remain for the rest of my life. I’m sure there will be a new member – it might be you, it might be another one – that might take my place. As long as I serve the Emperor the way I should then I do not care if I’m the first or the second or even the last. That lies only to his Majesty’s decision. I will never judge or doubt it. That’s why I’m not afraid of training the newcomers. I want them to see the Ooku as they should and not as their imagination implies them to, like with everything unfamiliar in our life”
Nino was amazed. This person in front of him was definitely not what he expected to meet.
“Aiba-san…”
“You can call me Masaki… I told you so earlier… We will live together from now on… No need for such formalities. I want to think of the Ooku as my extended family…”
Family?! Nino looked at the man in front of him. I hope to find a reason to call this place family too… but I doubt it…
“We will talk later. You should rest a bit now… You were travelling the whole night”
***
Hours passed by but Nino couldn’t rest at all. He was curious by nature and all of these sudden changes in his life, made him even more restless than usually. He sneaked out of the house to walk around the garden. He loved nature. The lake that was closer, reminded him of the one in his village, where he used to play without any sad thoughts or fears as a child. He sat down and looked at his idol in the water. He could finally find some serenity, feeling his mind relax, until he realized that he wasn’t alone; there was someone else’s idol reflecting on the water next to his.
Startled, he stood up and looked at the man who was standing next to him. He was his height, perhaps slightly shorter, but his gaze was colder than ice. Nino noticed the katana that was hanging next to his left leg and felt cold sweat covering his whole body.
“Who are you and what are you doing here?” the unknown voice was hostile, almost aggressive.
“My… name is Ninomiya Kazunari… I came earlier with Matsumoto-san. I live there” he pointed at the house a few meters away “with… A… Aiba-san…”
“So you are the new trainee… Are you sure you’re an adult?” the other asked with irony floating in the air.
“I’m twenty-one years old, Sir”
“Fine then. I’m the main guard of the Ooku. I will forgive you this once but you should know that you are not allowed to walk around whenever you want. I suppose Aiba…-san… should hurry and explain the rules. Now go back in the house!”
Nino didn’t need to hear it more than once. He hurriedly entered the house and threw himself on his futon, still feeling his heart beating like crazy.
Who is this person? And why did he have to talk to me like that? I think I should stay away from him as much as possible…
TO BE CONTINUED…
A.N. Sooo minna! ^_^ I've been working on this idea for months now but I had writer's block and I couldn't type a word. Finally, it's over and, since I have advanced with it a lot, I decided to post the first chapter! Yay!
It's the first time I write a historical fic (I always wanted to though... ;D) and what is more, Ohmiya in no comedy situations! I'm excited as well as veeeeery nervous! *pouts*
Ohno won't be the Emperor... There are many fics with this pattern and I wanted it to be a bit different... XP
Sakuraiba's love is forbidden and Ohmiya will have their difficulties... Ohno seems tough to approach, right?! :P As you probably know, I love complicated stories, with secrets etc. ><" You'll see how the story goes!
Hopefully, it wasn't disappointing and will remain like that till the end... *crosses her fingers*
I really hope you enjoyed it and as always your comments are <333!!!
Current Music: Arashi - Ai wo utaou
Current Location: my room
Current Mood: 
good
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