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Title: Ai no Honoo
Author: Andy-chan (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
antimiya88)
antimiya88)Pairings: Ohmiya, Sakuraiba (both main pairings)
Genre: Historical AU, Romance, Drama, Angst (slight)
Rating: PG-15
Summary: Ninomiya Kazunari is a former courtesan, chosen to enter the Emperor's Ooku. There, he meets different people: The Emperor's favorite, Aiba Masaki who, at first glance, seems cheerful and perfectly adjusted to his life there, but proves to be someone with important secrets. He also meets Ohno Satoshi, Ooku's main guard who despises the concept of the Ooku and looks down at its members - particularly the male ones. Nino thinks that the best would be to stay away from him as much as possible. He knows his position well, even if he hates it.The only thing that keeps him strong is a memory...
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys, unfortunately.
Part 3
When Masaki opened his eyes, it was still dark. He was in the Emperor’s chambers or more precisely in the Emperor’s bedroom. He would never send him away after the end of their intercourse. He was asked to pass the night with him and in the morning he would be showered by small pecks all over his face and neck. The Emperor was this attentive with him… always… He slowly stepped off the bed, after having thrown his kimono over his shoulders, and headed towards the big window across the room, looking at the dark view of the forest. The moon was almost full and entered the bedroom, lighting it in different silver tones.
His body felt a bit sore but he wasn’t hurt… at least physically. It made him feel like a traitor to the man sleeping peacefully a few meters away from him. He knew that the Emperor liked him… liked him very much. Even stranger thoughts had passed through Masaki’s mind that he neither dared nor wanted to form into actual words. They would only worsen his guilt. He didn’t love the Emperor; indeed, he was more than grateful to him… he respected and cared for him but he couldn’t love him.
He would never forget how tenderly he was treated the very first time he was asked to pass the night with him; the Emperor had made sure the whole act was pleasurable to him and it kinda was, since he was the only man that had ever laid hands on him. Masaki felt safe in his arms. His touches were soft… his voice sweet… he would always make sure he wasn’t hurt. He would always be kissed… many times… he thought that what he felt inside was something like love but then… he met him and realized that his feelings for the Emperor were nowhere close to it. He was the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his life… differently beautiful but beautiful. He still remembered the way his eyes burnt his insides once they met. It was the first time that he felt his heart beating this crazily.
Whenever he was called by the Emperor to join him at dinner he felt sadness and excitement in the same time; sadness because he would be sat close to the Emperor, feeling his arms around him and excitement because he would meet him again. He wished he knew his name but he couldn’t ask. It was like a sweet torture… having him so close and yet not being allowed to even throw a quick glance at him. As he danced though, he managed to catch his eyes on him… he could feel them all over his body, as if they could reach under the fine silks he was wearing. As time passed, it became harsher and harsher for him. He started dreaming about him… shy touches… passionate kisses everything felt so real that made Masaki shiver.
He needed to meet with him. He needed to feel those lips on his. The chance came when the Emperor had to leave the Palace. Without thinking about it twice he secretly entered his office; he knew it was right next to the Emperor’s one. Masaki could feel his heart crushing against his ribs… his whole body was burning with excitement and fear… the other was surprised but Masaki saw it clearly… there was also lust. Once he was standing in front of him Masaki kissed him, like he had dreamt so many times.
Soon, he was lying on the floor, feeling the weight of the other on top of him as they were becoming one. “Sho…” his name… it had sounded so perfect escaping from his lips, surrendered as he was to the fog of pleasure he was given so generously. That night was only the beginning of hundreds of nights of true yet forbidden love. The more he tasted it the more he didn’t wish the Emperor’s hands on him but he knew he couldn’t do anything.
Masaki sighed, his eyes still being drawn in the darkness outside, when he felt two arms wrapping around him from behind. Startled, he turned a bit to meet the Emperor’s worried face.
“Masaki… why are you crying?” It was then that Masaki realized tears had been running down his cheeks and quickly tried to wipe them away with the back of his palm. “Did I hurt you?” the Emperor asked with even more concern.
Masaki shook his head softly, trying to smile. “No… your Majesty… you didn’t hurt me… I was just thinking of my childhood… I’m sorry for being this sensitive…”
“Masaki… I have asked you to call me by my name when we’re alone… when we’re so intimate…”
Masaki bit his lower lip. He didn’t want to call the Emperor by his name; not because of lack of respect – it was the Emperor the one asking him – but because he wanted to call only one name… his name… “I’m s- sorry… No…” his voice was stuck in his throat.
The Emperor cupped his chin, making him to look up to him. “Say it…”
Masaki took a deep breath. “Noriyuki-sam-” he was hushed.
“Noriyuki… Tonight like every other night I’m simply Noriyuki…”
“Noriyuki” Masaki repeated the name, feeling his heart crushing into thousands of small pieces.
“Masaki…” the Emperor’s fingers traced a line from Masaki’s right wrist up to his shoulder. “Aren’t you happy here?”
“I am, your Ma- ah… I mean Noriyuki… I truly am… It’s just that sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I wasn’t an orphan…”
“Sometimes I wish you didn’t have to experience all that but then I realize that it was because of that that I can have you right now in my arms… Masaki…”
Masaki felt more tears building up in his eyes but blinked them away fast. “I love being in your arms… Noriyuki…”
The Emperor leaned closer and inhaled close to Masaki’s mouth. “You’re so beautiful and you’re mine, Masaki… Could… could I…?”
Masaki smiled and stood up taking the Emperor’s hand in his, leading him to the bed. “Do you even have to ask? I always feel treasured when I’m under your caresses…”
“Masaki…” the Emperor said in a huskier tone and let the kimono fall on the floor. Soon, Masaki was on his back, feeling a hot mouth kissing the base of his neck. He knew what he had to do… Carefully, he held the Emperor’s arms, bringing him closer to him and closed his eyes in an attempt to empty his mind. Tomorrow he would be in Sho’s arms again… the Emperor’s traces on his body would be erased.
……………………………………………..
“What happened…? Did you by any chance lose your voice?” Satoshi spoke slowly. “And you sounded so beautifully earlier…” his tone being slightly ironic.
Nino’s breathing rhythm turned fast. Earlier?! That means… he… he was there watching me the whole time?!
“Or perhaps that was one of your little games…?” the guard whispered in his ear, making Nino’s body tremble.
“I…” Nino tried to speak but it seemed impossible. Suddenly, he was turned around with force, meeting the other’s gaze.
Satoshi’s eyes scanned Nino’s slim silhouette, from head to toe, as it was half covered by the kimono. The latter could feel the other’s right hand tracing his body feather like, starting from the side of his waist up to his collarbones. “So… you use such filthy tricks… dancing and singing with such grace that only well trained geishas could be compared to you… but tell me… don’t you feel ashamed?” Nino could swear that the other’s voice sounded empty but he dared not to speak; he knew that it would only worsen his place at the moment.
“Having lost your identity as men; trained to fulfill the lowest of the human needs… turning yourselves into nothing more than objects of desire… Or is it perhaps that you like it so much…?” Satoshi continued his monologue his eyes locked on Nino’s “Seducing men like that?” gradually his gaze became angrier and the grip on Nino’s hand tighter. “It is a game for you… isn’t it? Yes…”
“That’s it… right? You like it… you like it too much… that’s why you decided to come here tonight… you knew I would be around and you decided to use your tricks… again…” Satoshi laughed out loud before turning serious in a glimpse of the eye. “You were trying to seduce me… you’re one well trained little whore…aren’t you?! I guess it’s too much in your blood… knowing nothing else but-”
A loud sound was heard in the air. Nino’s eyes were filled with tears and his chest was moving up and down as he tried to calm his anger down.
“You… Did you just slap my face?” Satoshi’s face had turned red as he grabbed Nino by his shoulders, almost crushing their bodies together. “How did you even-”
“Yes! I confess… Yes! I am a whore as you say! Yes… I am trained to seduce men… yes… I’m used by them to fulfill their lowest desires… yes… I’m all that… but… but you have no right to insult me as a person… you have no right to speak to me like that… you… you don’t know me… you don’t know my life… you don’t know what I’ve been through… or what my dreams once were… you don’t know if I feel ashamed or not… you don’t know if I feel disgusted with myself feeling all those gazes from older men on me… looking at me as if I am a piece of meat with no feelings… you don’t know if I even want to be here… like a bird locked in a golden cage… you don’t know how much I wish I was dead…” Nino spoke loud, his voice broken and his cheeks covered in tears. “You… you don’t know me…” he whispered, giving in his sobs completely.
Satoshi was left speechless with the younger man’s burst out. He could feel the pain in his voice… it was clear… Nino suddenly felt so fragile in his arms… so vulnerable… Satoshi shook his head. No… I won’t fall in your trap… this is only your way to escape… I know you… I know you too well… “Nice act…” he spoke hoarsely as he leaned closer to Nino who was left looking at him rather confused. “You… you surely didn’t look this unhappy before… On the contrary… you seemed to entertain yourself… feeling proud of the result… I’m neither blind nor stupid little whore…” Satoshi smirked as his hand moved to the kimono pushing it slightly so that Nino’s shoulder was revealed. Nino shuddered at the feeling of the rough fingers on his skin. “This is simply a game for you isn’t it?”
“Who hurt you this much?” Nino whispered before he could stop himself from doing so. It was obvious that the other was probably betrayed by someone he once loved.
“You…” his voice was cold but Nino could feel its tremble… its vulnerability.
“That’s why you’re like this with the Ooku… someone used your feelings…”
Satoshi pressed his lips together. “Who do you think you are?”
“I can see it… in your eyes… the pain… despite the hostility and coldness…”
“What do you know?” Satoshi hissed, starting feeling vulnerable; as if the other could see through him “You don’t know me…”
Nino’s lips formed a shy, bitter smile. “Perhaps… the same way you don’t know me either…”
Satoshi gasped at the hearing of that. “You…” his eyes were trying to see through the young man right in front of him who showed no hesitation. It had been a long time since someone actually spoke up to him, not fearing for the consequences and that amazed him. Without realizing it his face came even closer and closer till their lips were almost touching each other. To his surprise, he felt his heart beating fast. It was then that he realized what he was doing. Abruptly, he freed Nino and stepped backwards. “Go…” his voice was barely audible “Please… go…” Satoshi repeated once again, as he turned his back on the other.
He could hear Nino walking away but didn’t dare to turn his head and look at him. His heart was pounding against his chest. It had been a long time ago, when he had felt emotions building up inside him like that. Why was I so weak with him? No… Satoshi was trying to take deep breaths. No… I can’t let this happen again… No Satoshi… you’ve sworn it to yourself… you won’t let anyone break your wall… anyone…
***
Nino was trembling as he lied down on his futon. His heart was beating like crazy. He hadn’t felt fear although he should have. For some strange reason, those rough hands on his skin didn’t feel repulsive like it happened with all his customers till then. He would even dare to think that they felt rather intimate… But… I’ve never seen him in my life… so… why?
……………………………………………
Nino walked outside of his room, still influenced by his encounter with the mysterious guard. He seemed invincible yet Nino had seen his vulnerability there... even if it was well hidden. What has happened to him in the past?! It was a question that kept coming up in his mind but still couldn’t find the reason he cared so much. He sighed and tried to clear his head, knowing that today it was his first test. With slow steps, he walked towards his mentor who was sitting near the window, looking outside while sipping his tea.
“Good morning” he said softly but no answer came. Frowning, Nino made a couple of steps more till he was standing next to the taller man. His gaze was blank and his moves almost mechanic. “Ma- Masaki-kun?” he spoke again, a bit louder this time.
The other jerked his head and smiled widely when he realized Nino’s presence. “Kazunari-kun… I’m sorry I didn’t take notice of you… my mind was travelling elsewhere… good morning! Do you want tea?”
Nino smiled back at him and nodded softly. If he could judge from the other’s red eyes he hadn’t slept much and looked rather tired. Nervousness crawled in his soul when he realized that Masaki had just passed the night with the Emperor. What if he’s rough? What if…?
“I just didn’t sleep much Kazunari-kun… nothing bad happened… you may relax…” Masaki said smiling reassuringly as he gave him his cup. “His Majesty would never hurt anyone… especially someone from the Ooku… He’s very fond of its members…”
“But…”
“I’m always a bit tensed because I need to be perfect even if I’m the number one for a couple of years now… I feel as if I’m tested every single time I’m called and that’s why it’s difficult for me to rest well… Now please breathe again and drink your tea… We have to begin our lesson soon… Jun-kun will be here in a minute!”
Nino’s eyes bulged. “Matsumoto-san will be here as well? I… I didn’t know that… What if… I make a mistake… then…”
Masaki frowned. “Kazunari-kun… why are you this nervous if you make a mistake? Jun-kun insisted on coming because he wants to spot your strongest and weakest parts. He’s the best to see through the details…”
“But… what if I’m not good? I was rehearsing almost the whole night but I don’t feel confident in one part yet and having Jun-kun looking at-”
Masaki grabbed Nino’s shoulder, making him stop. “Kazunari-kun, tell me… Were they always so strict with you?”
Nino bit his lower lip, gazing at his feet. He didn’t dare to meet his mentor’s eyes. “They would hit us… and if we repeated the same mistake we would end up locked in our rooms without eating anything for one day or… more… and… well… things were more or less like that…”
Masaki sighed. “Kazunari-kun… please… look at me…” his voice was as gentle as possible. “You don’t have to be afraid of anything like that here. I want you to look at me as a good friend and Jun-kun as an older brother… we are here to help you… to answer your questions… not to punish you for not being good enough… no one is born perfect… and you already are very close to it… even if you can’t see it… I know… Jun-kun knows… that’s why you’re here… When I said that I feel the Ooku as my family I mean it…”
“Masaki-kun…” Nino said feeling his eyes slightly tearful.
“Finish your tea and let’s make a quick rehearsal before Jun-kun comes. We want to show him our best, right?”
Nino smiled shyly and nodded as he wiped his tears away. It was true that he felt pressured to learn everything so fast, with no mistakes, to be perfect but he couldn’t do differently; it was reminded to him all the time, even the moment he was leaving his former place. But then… Masaki’s words did sound honest… perhaps his previous owner’s voice had passed through his skin too deep but he had no more reasons to feel like that… now he could actually see it. Perhaps he already felt a bit different... because otherwise, he would never even dare to think to speak up to someone like he had done only a few hours ago.
He finished his tea as fast as possible, due to its hotness, and followed Masaki outside.
“Why here?” he asked surprised.
“Because I know you feel better in the nature…” Masaki said calmly. “I saw you rehearsing it outside yesterday in the afternoon before going to get ready for his Majesty… now no more talk… let’s start!”
Nino closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He cleared his mind and let only the words of the poem feel his mind as he started moving his feet and hands according to Masaki’s instructions.
***
“I agree that he’s marvelous to look at…” Satoshi startled looked behind his back, finding Jun coming closer to him. “I understand…”
“You understand what?” the guard spoke abruptly.
“He does remind of him in a way…”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Satoshi hissed and quickly turned around to leave.
He had just made a few steps when he heard Jun’s voice again. “You should be careful… You’re not the one you used to be in the past…”
“I don’t need you to remind me that… I know very well who I am…”
“It was only a piece of advice… Ohno-kun” Jun replied in the same calm tone “… for your own good…”
Satoshi stood there for a couple of seconds more and sighed, smirking. “You should mind you own business… Matsumoto-san… if you excuse me now… I have to inspect the women’s part today…” and with that he walked away, not throwing a single glance at the other.
Jun stood there watching Nino performing. You might say so Ohno Satoshi but your gaze betrayed you… You like him…
……………………………………………
“Masaki… my love… wait…” Sho tried to speak, in between his lover’s intense caresses and kisses. “I haven’t even managed to see your face clearly…”
“I want you Sho…” Masaki’s behavior was erratic like always when he was meeting up with him after a night in the Emperor’s chambers. “Make love to me…”
“But… Masaki… we’re outside…” Sho had no chance to oppose when the other grabbed his wrist and dragged him behind some bushes.
“Here we won’t be found… please… I need to feel you Sho… please…”
Sho caressed softly Masaki’s cheeks, cupping them before capturing his lips into a slow, full of love kiss. Sho tried to make Masaki feel everything he felt for him… in every touch, every look, every kiss, every whisper, every thrust… it was enough to do everything his lover asked him to… he was his and that didn’t change.
“You’re so beautiful…” Sho whispered in Masaki’s ear as he was holding him in his arms. They had used Sho’s kimono to sit down on the grass and Masaki’s to cover themselves up the best they could.
“You always say that to me…” Masaki replied shyly, squeezing Sho’s arms.
The other intertwined their fingers, kissing softly the top of Masaki’s head. “Because it’s the truth and because I can’t help but fall in love with you even more every single time we meet…”
“When Kazunari-kun finishes from being a trainee, I want you to come again in my room… I want us to pass the whole night together… I’ve missed talking to you… listening to your stories…”
Sho smiled. “Tell me what do you want to hear…?”
“I want to hear about the time you mistakably fell in the river…” Masaki whispered and tried to hold his chuckle.
“That’s an embarrassing story…” Sho whined in a clearly fake tone.
“I want to hear it in order to remind me that you have weaknesses… because in my eyes you seem perfect, Sho…”
The older man felt his heart flattering inside his chest. This wasn’t the first time Masaki told him he found him perfect; something that he never believed… For him, the only perfect person he has met in his life is no one else but the beautiful man he was holding in his arms at the moment. “You’re wrong my love… I have many weaknesses… and my biggest is nothing else but you...”
Masaki buried his head deeper in the crook of Sho’s neck, pecking feather-like the hot skin. “I love you…”
Sho grabbed his lover’s chin softly, making him meet his eyes. “I love you more…” he whispered straight on Masaki’s lips before locking them together in a slow, gradually demanding kiss.
***
“Who would have thought that you’d be such a daring person, Sakurai Sho?!” a whisper was heard in the air, meters away from the forbidden couple, who seemed lost in his own world. “But that works perfect for me… Just wait and see…”
………………………………………………
“Aniki?” Nino asked as loud as possible with a trembling voice the person who was standing at the other side of the lake. Nino couldn’t see his image clearly as the fog was quite intense but he was sure it was him… the one he wished to see more than anyone else. How did he find me? How did they let him inside?! He will be sent away… what if Ohno Satoshi finds him?
As fast as possible, he ran; he would finally see him again. “Aniki…” he repeated again as he came closer.
The man in front of him became clear, taking him in his arms. Nino felt safe there; safer than ever. "Kazu..." his voice was warm, full of love. "My Kazu..."
Nino opened his eyes, recognizing the wooden ceiling of his room. He sat up on his futon, trying to calm his pounding heart down. It had been years since he had dreamt of him and even then he would only see him blurry, standing far away.
Why did I dream of him? And… why did he have the form of... Ohno Satoshi?
TO BE CONTINUED…
A.N. Sooo minna here's part 3! ^_^ The Emperor
Nino was quite daring with Ohno but then he could read some things between the lines... and for once Ohno showed some 'vulnerability'... We found out more about Nino and there were some hints about Ohno's identity/past - Jun seems to know... As for Sakuraiba someone saw them... now who and what could that mean you'll find out in the next one! I promise! ;)
*I saw that some Ohmiya shippers are slightly disappointed because in this particular part Aiba has more time ^^" I needed to do it at some point because now his character more or less is complete... *shrugs* Ohmiya are much more complicated than Sakuraiba so I thought I needed time to do it correctly and with the attention they deserve... >< It's hard to make it all the time look 50-50% because the chapter would be huuuuge :P but I promise you in the next part Ohmiya will be the ones in the spot light! I'll try my best! ^_^
I really hope you enjoyed it and as always your comments are <333!!!
See you next week! ^_^
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