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Title: Tomodachi (One-Shot)
Author: Andy-chan (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
antimiya88)
antimiya88)Pairings: Ohmiya (main & one-sided?), Sakumiya (side), Ohno x Ishihara Satomi, Aiba x OC, Jun x OC
Genre: romance, angst, slice of life
Rating: R
Summary: Nino met Ohno Satoshi twelve years ago when the latter transferred to his class. From the moment he met him he felt that they shared a similar aura. Little by little, they came closer. Before he knew it, Nino had already fallen in love with him. There was only one problem... Ohno Satoshi was his best friend...
Disclaimer: Kazu belongs to his Oh-chan and Oh-chan belongs to his Kazu
A.N. This is a long (~14.000 words) OS that I wrote for my dearestdani_mathoz! ^_^ It's based on Utada Hikaru's "Tomodachi".
A.N. This is a long (~14.000 words) OS that I wrote for my dearest
dani_mathoz! ^_^ It's based on Utada Hikaru's "Tomodachi".
Tomodachi
“Hey you!”
“You’ll never change…” Satoshi said muffling a laugh as he felt the small hands of his best friend touching his lower back. It wasn’t that he minded it… it had become like a ritual between them. Nino was the playful type who certainly enjoyed skinship, as he was calling it; if all those idols were doing it publicly, why couldn’t he?! At first, Satoshi admitted he found the whole thing awkward; he wasn’t used to have his butt being groped on a daily basis but as the time passed by and got to know the other better, he realized it was Nino’s personal way of showing his love towards his friends.
“Of course I won’t! But that’s what makes me Nino, right?” he saw the other shrugging. “Besides… You know how much I love your cute little butt!” Nino added in a mischievous tone and winked at his friend before taking his hand into his and dragging him into the café. “Now, hurry up! Because of you I haven’t drunk my morning coffee and my body asks for its caffeine dose!”
Satoshi could only shake his head amused. Yes… That was what made Nino.
They entered the café in which they frequented since their college years. It was small but cozy and the coffee was delicious.
“So… what was this so urgent thing that you wanted to discuss with me?” Nino asked in his usual excited tone after he sipped some of his coffee.
Satoshi lowered his head shyly. “Actually… I… want to ask you…”
“Out?” the other cut him off seeming to enjoy the startled gaze he met on his friend’s face. “I’m just kidding!” he made the widest smile he could at the moment before taking a deep breath. “But seriously now… it’s not my fault! You look like a high school girl asking her favorite senpai on a date! Why are you this nervous?”
Satoshi smiled. Nino would always be like that; lightening up the atmosphere… making him feel at ease when he wasn’t. He wasn’t an open person but somehow Nino was able to see through him from the very beginning. He never said anything unnecessary; never pulled things more than Satoshi was keen on sharing and that was what made the latter take the place of his best friend. He knew that Nino cared for him with all his heart despite his teasing, sometimes, behavior. He knew that it was nothing more than a cover to a deeply sensitive person.
“It concerns Satomi-chan…” Nino’s playful smile slowly disappeared causing Satoshi to sigh. “Nino…”
“What?! I didn’t say anything…” Nino mumbled pouting and drank some more of his coffee.
Satoshi knew Nino had never appreciated Satomi much. Despite his reassurances, Satoshi could tell… He had tried to find out why but the other would always deny his claims. “I know that you’re not her biggest fan-”
“I never said that!” Nino cut his words off. “Why do you insist that I don’t like her?”
“Because you frown whenever her name is mentioned?!” Satoshi replied making this time Nino hush.
Nino was staring at his friend for a couple of seconds without saying a single word. He knew Satoshi could read him; perhaps not as much as he did, but he certainly could. “It’s just that…” Nino started saying but seemed to hesitate. He was biting his lower lip looking almost guiltily. It was as if he was trying to find the proper words to continue. “Well… You know me, Oh-chan…” he whined at the end, finding his mischievous smirk back. “I like you too much to have to share you with her…”
“You sound like a jealous girlfriend!” Satoshi said while trying to hold his laughs back.
Nino smirked wider, leaning closer to the other. “What if I am?!”
“Nino! I’m speaking seriously here! Stop turning everything into a joke!”
Joke… Nino closed his eyes tightly. If the other knew how much pain this particular word was causing to him… He knew Satoshi would never want to hurt him… not on purpose yet he did and that made Nino feel guilty because it wasn’t Satoshi’s fault… It was entirely his… He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. The last thing he wanted was the other to realize. “Sorry! I promise I’ll be serious from now on!”
“Has something happened between you two?” Satoshi insisted.
Nino sighed defeated. “I really have nothing against her, Satoshi…” this time his voice sounding nothing like his usual ‘playful’ one.
Satoshi frowned. It was unusual for Nino to call him by his first name; he would usually call him Oh-chan or Oji-chan… and his voice… Why suddenly sounded so… surrendered… empty…?
“Nino…”
“Only a blind wouldn’t see how much she loves you… her eyes are getting brighter when she casts them on you… and the same thing happens with you… She loves you as much as you love her…” Nino spoke again.
“You mean it?” Satoshi sounded moved by his friend’s words and the only thing that Nino could do was smile; even if he had to fake it.
“Of course I mean it! I might like to tease you but I’d never lie to you… you know that! You are a great couple!”
Satoshi smiled widely, immediately his face brighten up. “You don’t know how much your opinion means to me…”
“We are best friends, aren’t we?” Nino said tilting his head, his eyes roaming on Satoshi’s face; taking a close look at every detail. He always looked cute but even more like that… he was happy and Nino was happy for him even if it meant that he would be miserable because he wasn’t the reason for this happiness. “So…” he cleared his throat. “What is it? What do you want to ask me?”
“I made a decision…” Satoshi spoke in a low voice lowering his gaze.
Nino’s heart clenched. He already had an idea… He tried to keep his smile but was sure he was failing. “You will ask her to marry you…” his voice came out trembling, almost like a whisper.
Satoshi nodded, a shy smile appearing on his lips. “Yes… I think I’ll do it tonight… It’s our fourth anniversary!” his voice turned softer. “I have already bought the ring…”
“Who could have thought that the day the ultimate dreamer Ohno Satoshi would take the decision to settle down would finally come?!” Nino said and whistled his usual way before resting both his elbows on the table looking directly at his friend. “You have everything planned… what is it that you want from me?”
Satoshi only smiled shyly. “Nino… you’re my best friend for more than twelve years now…” Nino chose to say nothing. “You’re one of the most precious people in my life…” still silence. “You were the only one who stayed by my side not only during the happy moments but also the sad ones…” he looked up finding Nino staring back at him with surprisingly unreadable eyes. “I want you to be by my side at one of the most important days of my life, Nino. I want you to be my best man”
Satoshi expected mocking comments, a playful pinch on his cheek… something… but to his surprise, Nino remained at his seat, staring blankly at the empty cup in front of him.
“Nino…?”
“Wow…” the other said after a while averting his eyes as if Satoshi’s presence was disturbing him.
“Nino?” Satoshi repeated, this time sounding concerned… worried.
“I… I would-” the words stuck on Nino’s mouth. This was too much. He looked up at Satoshi. He was sure that his eyes were glittering due to the tears that were threatening to start falling down his face. “It’s an honor and I would love to…” Satoshi’s lips curved into a smile making Nino hating himself even more but this was above his strength. “…but I can’t…” At the hearing of the last words he saw Satoshi’s smile fade away, his eyes asking him why. Nino couldn’t handle it anymore. Abruptly he stood up and without saying anything else he left the café almost running.
Satoshi was lost. What could have happened? He pulled a banknote out of his wallet and threw it on the table before following the other as fast as his legs could carry him. After a couple of meters he managed to grab Nino’s arm and turned him around, gasping at the view. Nino was crying…
“Nino…? Why are you crying? Has anything happened? Tell me, please… You scare me…”
Nino tried to speak… to say something… but all the words had been stuck at his throat. He felt the other’s hands wrapping around him, pulling him into a hug. Nino clang on him, desperate to feel Satoshi’s warmth. He continued to cry… He wished the other didn’t see him like that… he knew that he cared for him and that was making him feel even more pain…
“I should have known that there was something going on… I could tell you were acting a bit weird… and me the idiot kept talking about stupid happy things…”
Happy things… Nino’s grip on the other’s shirt tightened. They were in the middle of the street but he couldn’t care less at the moment.
“Nino… please, talk to me… What is wrong?” Satoshi grabbed his friend by his shoulders and pulled him slightly back so that he could see his face.
Nino though didn’t dare to look up and meet his friend’s eyes.
“Nino…” Satoshi grabbed Nino’s chin making him look into his eyes. “Tell me… What-” he didn’t have the chance to finish his question. He had frozen, completely lost. There were two wet lips locking over his. Is Nino… kissing me? Why… why is he kissing me? Nino… what is going on?! He tried to understand but he couldn’t. Suddenly, the contact was lost. He saw the other stepping backwards almost terrified at the realization of his action.
“I…” Nino sounded panicked. What could he say? Nothing… he turned around and ran away as fast as possible. This time he felt more, heavier tears falling down his cheeks and didn’t make any effort to stop them. This time there was no one following him… no one trying to catch his arm. He accelerated his pace even more.
Only once in his apartment he had the chance to catch his breath. He leaned on the closed door letting his body fall on the ground. He took his phone out of his pocket. With trembling hands he started typing a text.
To: Oh-chan
I’m sorry…
I’m sorry for being such a shitty friend… I’m sorry for having fallen in love with you…
***
Twelve years ago…
“Everyone, please welcome Ohno Satoshi! I expect you to be friendly with him”
Nino looked up and saw a small figured, sleepy looking boy. Cute… he thought smiling without even realizing it. He saw the new student taking his seat at the desk right behind him and threw him a quick glance. Somehow, he could feel a similar aura… and he wanted to get to know him. When the bell rang, Nino didn’t lose any more time. He turned around and gave his hand to the other who seemed rather surprised by his approach.
“I’m Ninomiya Kazunari. You can call me Nino!”
It took a few seconds but in the end Satoshi smiled. “I’m Ohno Satoshi”
“Oh-chan!” Nino cut him off, not even giving the chance to speak. “It’s cute!”
“Don’t start scaring people, Nino!” a tall boy spoke close to them. Satoshi turned his head towards him and found him smiling gently at him. “I’m Matsumoto Jun. Nice to meet you!”
Satoshi smiled. “Ohno Satoshi. Nice to meet you, too!”
Jun sat at the edge of the Nino’s desk. “Don’t worry about him” he said pointing at Nino. “Deep inside he’s a good guy!”
“Oh… J actually praises me… That should be recorded!”
“Nino-chan! Jun-chan!” another tall boy appeared next to them. He wasn’t a classmate of them. “And this is…?” he asked looking at Satoshi.
“Our new classmate, Ohno Satoshi” Jun replied before Nino managed to talk again.
“But we call him Oh-chan!” Nino talked again uninvited.
“Well, nice to meet you, Oh-chan! I’m Aiba Masaki. 3C. You can call me Aiba-chan or however you want. I don’t mind!”
“You don’t mind?!” Nino asked with a smirk. “That’s great Aibaka!”
Masaki narrowed his eyes. “Nino!”
Nino shrugged his shoulders as he stood up from his desk causing Jun to muffle a laugh. “What?! It was you the one who said you didn’t mind! Besides what a better nickname than a descriptive one?!” and with that he ran away.
“If I catch you…” Masaki yelled as he ran behind him.
“You all seem to be really close…” Satoshi mumbled as he looked at the two friends who were running in the corridor.
“We’ve been stuck together since elementary school… It’s unavoidable…” Jun replied.
“Since elementary?! That must be really nice. Never had the opportunity to actually stay in the same group of friends for too long…” Satoshi said in a sad tone.
“Why?”
“My dad… He had to travel. I never spent more than a year in the same school…”
Jun looked at him frowning. “Well, this is our last year so you won’t need to follow your family everywhere!”
“That’s true… but still…” Satoshi wasn’t used to be this welcomed anywhere. He would probably be mocked for his small figure or his chubby cheeks but he chose to remain silent and only nod; it wouldn’t serve anything; it could only trigger things the wrong way and this was the last thing he wanted.
As if Jun was reading his confusion, he patted his shoulder in a friendly way. “If Nino decided to give you a nickname, it means that you deserve it… He’s too picky and has an - annoyingly sometimes - good intuition with people. I trust him! So, welcome!”
Satoshi frowned, more confused. How could the others be this open?!
He spent the breaks with the three friends since Nino had decided not to leave him alone. Before he knew it, the day had already come to its end. He was waiting for the bus when he heard a cheerful voice behind him. “Oh-chan!”
“Nino-kun…” he hadn’t seen the others since they had their club activities.
The other tilted his head. “I told you, you can call me Nino! But who would have thought that we take the same bus?! Which one is your stop?” he continued in the same excited way.
“The sixth…” Satoshi mumbled feeling shy. The other was too open, too friendly and he didn’t know how to perceive the whole thing; he wasn’t used to it.
“That’s great!”
The bus finally came and they took the two free seats at the back.
“Don’t look this puzzled! It’s just that I will finally have someone to go to school with! J and Aibaka live opposite my house… My stop is the fourth by the way!”
“Ah…” was all that Satoshi could say still trying to get accustomed to the other boy’s friendly and open attitude.
Nino flashed him a wide smile once they reached his stop. “Here I go… See you tomorrow morning, Oh-chan!” there was a quick pat on his shoulder. Satoshi found himself smile back. Perhaps this year might prove to be a good one…
***
Satoshi’s eyes bulged when he felt someone’s hand brushing his lower back. It didn’t last more than a few seconds, so he couldn’t be positive if it was done by accident or on purpose. He turned around to see and to his surprise he found a widely smiling Nino. Did he just…?
“Good morning, Oh-chan!”
It must have been an accident… he smiled shyly. “Good morning, Nino-kun!”
“I told you to call me, Nino!” the other said in a whining tone, his cheeks forming a small pout.
Satoshi felt the touch again.
“You have a cute butt, Oh-chan!” Nino whispered in his ear once they reached school and winked at him before descending from the bus and running towards Jun and Masaki who were waiting at the gate.
Satoshi followed behind not knowing how to perceive the whole thing. Surely, he wasn’t used to having friends around him… but were friends supposed to be like that?! If he wanted to be honest, he felt a bit uncomfortable… he was not an easily, through physical expression expressive person.
Masaki waved at him vividly making him escape from his thoughts. “Good morning, Oh-chan!”
“You said it! Now, move, Aibaka… We need to go to class…” to Satoshi’s surprise he saw Nino having grabbed Masaki’s arm, half his body pressed against the other as he dragged him towards the building.
Satoshi was left to watch the whole thing speechless.
“What did he do?”
“Eh?” Satoshi turned his head surprised to see Jun standing next to him. The latter was looking at the direction of the other two.
“No- nothing!” Satoshi hurried to reply. He didn’t want them to get him wrong. For some reason, he wanted them to keep him around the way they had done the previous day.
“This guy… He’s a bit too clingy… You should be warned… From friendly or not so friendly pats, to hugs when you expect them the least and…” Jun coughed a bit “… let’s say… multiple choice touching…? Something like that… He keeps it only for the special ones…”
“I see…” Satoshi replied skeptical as they entered the main building to change their shoes.
“Since all those Johnny idols do it publicly, why can’t I?!” Jun said imitating his friend. “Don’t pay too much attention… He really doesn’t mean any harm… I guess he’s just too shy to actually say that he cares about his friends that he chooses such ridiculous methods!”
“I see…” Satoshi whispered once again still lost in his thoughts.
“Did he terrify you this much?” Jun asked between a funny and serious tone.
“I admit I didn’t expect such… an openness… but he didn’t terrify me! It’s just that I’m not used to be close with friends…” or more correctly to have friends… Satoshi thought sadly.
“Oh-chan! J!” Nino called for them from the end of the corridor. “Hurry up! Asuda saw Mr. Remain-Silent climbing the stairs!”
Jun cursed and started running to the classroom, followed by Satoshi. The latter saw Nino sighing relieved when he saw them entering the room safely and smiled. It was certain that Nino didn’t behave like a usual seventeen year old guy; he still had a playfulness in him and for some reason Satoshi realized that he actually liked that. Nino had an energy he hadn’t; it was as if they were completing each other.
He sat at his desk and took out his book. Mr. Remain-Silent, as Nino had called him, had already entered and asked them to open their books. He tried to find the exercise they were asked to solve on page fourteen but he couldn’t. He had started to panic when he saw a small note thrown in front of him.
Wrong book. The yellow one, Oh-chan! XD
He laughed at his mistake. He quickly took the right book in hand and thanked in a whisper the other for saving him. As he tried to concentrate on the exercise, Jun’s words came to his mind from earlier. He looked up at the other’s back and a smile appeared on his lips. He was a bit weird; Satoshi couldn’t deny it but Nino seemed to be a genuinely good guy.
Perhaps that’s what it means to have a friend…
***
A couple of months passed by and Satoshi had got used to Nino’s skinship. He had found himself smiling genuinely, perhaps in a way too long time. Little by little, Satoshi could feel part of their small group. They would meet up to study together or simply hang out. Jun and Masaki were great but Satoshi found himself feeling more a bit more comfortable around Nino. There was something about the other that despite his high tension made him feel at ease. Masaki would repeat his questions more than necessary; Jun would focus on him… but Nino would make sure he was there for him. It wasn’t that he had said it out loud but his eyes… Satoshi knew it because of those eyes.
Perhaps they shared a similar aura, as Nino had once told him after a long session of video games at which Satoshi had failed miserably. Perhaps, it was simply that he could listen… even the words that he hadn’t chosen to speak out loud. There were times that he wasn’t feeling like going to crowded places; Nino would say that he’d prefer to watch a movie and make Jun and Masaki stay at homme. There were other times that he was sad due to his parents’ daily dose of quarrel; Nino would drag him to his home saying that he was bored and needed company. He would have made sure to have chosen his favorite Ghibli movie and his favorite tea. There were also other times that Satoshi just wanted to be on his own; Nino would only squeeze his shoulder and after giving him a reassuring, an I’m-here-if-you-need-anything smile he’d say goodbye and then, later at night, would text him good night followed by a silly face.
Nino had managed to become an important person in Satoshi’s life; the friend he always wanted; the brother he didn’t have. He had come to realize that what Jun had told him that day was true… because he did feel as if he was one of Nino’s special ones and couldn’t be happier about it.
***
It was a Saturday evening, a week before summer holidays. They were gathered at Masaki’s house to watch a baseball game.
They had just opened the bottle of coke when Masaki sat opposite them clapping his hands enthusiastically. “What do you say we all spend next weekend in my uncle’s onsen in Chiba? It would be so much fun! A great way to start our last summer vacations as students!”
No one needed much persuasion. In a few hours everything was settled.
It was six in the morning when they met up at the bus stop. Masaki was super excited and to Satoshi’s surprise Jun seemed rather moody.
“He’s not a morning person and having to deal with an over-excited Masaki causes this…” Nino said as he sat next to him.
It was always as if he could read his mind. Satoshi smiled. “I’m so lucky to have come to this high school…” Satoshi spoke in a little, trembling voice. “I never thought that I could have found real, good friends… It almost feels like a dream…”
“And Oh-chan becomes sappy…” Nino said in his usual mischievous tone. “They do have reason when they say that you can see the real other in the morning…” and with that stood up throwing his hands in the air to stretch his back muscles. “Why should I be the only normal around you?! I’m so underestimated!”
Satoshi smiled. He knew that the other did it in order to prevent him from going all emotional… to reassure him that this is how it is supposed to do.
Two hours later they were greeted by Masaki’s uncle who seemed to have the same bright personality like his nephew. They were led to their room which was big enough for all of them and with immediate access to a private open-air pool along with a great view at the mountain.
“So beautiful!” Satoshi muttered as he let his eyes wander around.
“It is, isn’t it?!” Masaki replied in an overly excited and surely proud tone.
“I’d say we go to the village… then have lunch and after a good sleep, we can go to the onsen… It’s always better in the evening!” Jun said as he took off his things.
“No problem!” Nino shrugged his shoulders. “What about you, Oh-chan?” Satoshi nodded smiling.
Masaki grinned. “Let’s go!”
Jun and Masaki were surely taking their time to check the local shops. Satoshi on the other hand preferred to explore nature.
“Hey…” he heard Nino’s voice followed by a tight grip around his arm. He felt the other gluing on his side but didn’t mind.
“Aren’t you interested in the local fashion?” he asked in a teasing way.
“No… We have model pair for that…” Nino replied, his voice sounding almost like a whiny meow.
Satoshi smiled and let his friend do as he like. They walked towards the north where the forest began. Nino had turned completely silent as they headed to the small spring of which Masaki’s uncle had spoken. It was really beautiful, covered as it was by different wild flowers germinated between rocks.
Satoshi sat carefully on a fallen tree trunk, Nino not uttering a single word as he sat next to him. He smiled when he felt the latter resting his head on his shoulder.
“It’s weird… when you’re in the city you crave for silence and when you’re in the country you crave for noise…”
“Because the noise of nature is calming…” Nino whispered without moving away.
Satoshi smiled. “I guess we do have the same aura…”
Nino gasped surprised and as Satoshi turned his gaze to his friend, he was almost sure he could see a hint of blush on his friend’s cheeks.
“That’s why we’re best friends!” Nino said smiling widely and jumped up, going closer to the spring to clean his face with the water.
Satoshi frowned for a second but scolded himself internally. He should have already got used to the other’s sudden change of energy.
“It’s about time we go back! I can’t stand Jun’s whines when he gets hungry”
Nino burst into loud laughs and started running. “The last one will treat the other ice cream!”
Satoshi protested but started running fast. Yes… this was happiness…
~.~.~
“This feels so nice…” Masaki said as he entered the pool. “Come guys!”
Nino and Jun followed him, leaving Satoshi the last one to enter. “Oh my God, Oh-chan! Mother Nature was certainly generous with you!”
Nino tried his best to avoid looking at this ‘generous part’ Masaki was talking about but no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t. His eyes caught a glimpse of it before the other entered the water. Mother Nature was indeed generous with him… and unfair with me… he thought smiling sadly. He turned the other way preferring to keep his gaze at his friends. He had never seen Satoshi naked… He could only imagine how he’d look but nothing had prepared him for reality. He was slim but there were well defined muscles to balance everything. He had a manly figure despite his short height… He was beautiful.
“I’m sure the ladies are delighted!” his friend continued on a teasing tone causing Satoshi to blush. Nino saw it... Not that he hadn’t known but it was what he needed to get completely sure that he would never become part of that scenery in Satoshi’s eyes.
Nino knew he should whistle playfully, say a smart teasing comment but what he wanted to do was to yell but he couldn’t, so he chose silence. He had realized for quite a long time now that it was the wisest thing to do. He turned the other way to look at the mountain. Satoshi was right. It was indeed relaxing. He let his hands rest on the wooden surface and leaned his head on them. He sighed deeply in an attempt to get rid of the thoughts that kept coming to his mind. He had closed his eyes when he heard the voice he wished the least to listen to at the moment.
“I prefer this view, too” Satoshi mumbled as he came next to him.
Nino cleared his throat. “It’s the most relaxing…” he whispered, afraid of how his voice would be heard. His heart was beating faster than ever and the other’s closeness wasn’t helping him much. No matter how much he tried to divert his attention, he would still throw small glances to the one next to him. He had tried to listen to his mind but his body kept moving on its own… his eyes kept moving on the other’s body as if they were trying to map every single detail, knowing that he would never get to remember it a different way. Seeing the way his cheeks looked flushed due to the hot water, his hair had got almost wet due to the steams... He could only imagine that he’d look similar when he’d share his bed with his lover only that there would be also a passion written on his face, an eagerness, a rawness he would never get to know…
Nino felt his skin burning at these thoughts. He could see the way the droplets were left on his arms, making him wish he could simply lean and lick them. He wanted to spread kisses to those full lips… to this velvet looking skin… he wanted to make the other lose his mind in his touch… to make him surrender to his caresses… to hear him call his name…
It didn’t take much time to find a specific part of his body reacting to his imagination. He knew it was about time to stop being this close to him, yet he couldn’t do it. He craved to touch the other, to feel his skin against his, to taste every single part of his body but knew he couldn’t... he’d never have the right to. He didn’t want to betray him. He was Satoshi’s friend… his best friend… he knew the other cared truthfully for him and he didn’t want to lose that… because he cared too.
“Nino, are you ok? You look… flushed…” Satoshi’s words brought Nino back to reality.
“Eh?!” he was almost panting. “Ah! Yes… Just the water… I guess it’s time for me to get out” he took the small towel in his hand and trying not to make his erection visible he escaped as if he was hunted down. He could feel Jun’s gaze on him but tried not to think much.
He entered the small shower at the corridor and let the cold water fall on his body. Finally he could feel his member soften and the tears, he had tried so hard to keep inside, fall down his face freely. Why should it be this complicated? Why couldn’t he be like his friends? Why should he suffer like this? He tried to find the right answer… any answer… but failed. It wasn’t what he had asked for in his life but then he knew that he didn’t have the choice… He was who he was and his heart had decided to fall in love with this particular person… his best friend… But that’s how life is… never easy… After a while, he wrapped the towel around his naked body and got out of the shower just to bump onto Jun who was waiting for him with his hands folded in front of his chest.
“Jun!” Nino tried to sound carefree but he knew he had failed dramatically. “You want a shower too?”
“No”
Nino walked back into their room finding it empty. “Aiba? Oh-chan?”
“They went downstairs to help with dinner”
“Is that so?!” Nino replied in a rather awkward tone as he wore his yukata. Once he was ready, he went to open the door when Jun’s hand on his shoulder forbade him for making another step forwards.
“Nino… If it hurts you so much, why are you so close to him?”
Nino’s heart clenched. Jun knew… Of course he’d know…
“Because I’m weak… and…” he bit his lower lip hesitating for a minute. “And… because I love him too much to stay away; even if being this close, means pain…”
***
Ten years ago…
“Oh-chan?” Nino asked surprised to find Satoshi standing in front of his apartment door, soaked from the rain, holding a small suitcase in his right hand.
“May I come in?” his voice was weak, making Nino’s heart clench painfully.
“Of course…” Nino pulled him inside.
“I had nowhere to go…” Satoshi spoke in the same tone, keeping his head lowered.
“You had; you came here. But we can talk later…” he took the coat and threw it on the floor checking Satoshi’s temperature. He was cold. “You should take a hot bath… I don’t want my Oh-chan to fall ill!”
Nino was confused. He hurried in his bedroom to take a clean towel. Something big must have happened; it was clear.
“Here you are!” he said with a smile when he went back to the other. “C’mon, now! Hurry up! You already sneezed once!” he gave the usual playful smack on the other’s butt knowing it would create a more relaxed atmosphere between them.
Five minutes later, he could hear the water falling in the shower and sighed. He had already thrown the wet clothes in the laundry hamper and gone to the kitchen to prepare some hot tea. Why was Satoshi looking like this? It killed him… He only wished to see Satoshi smiling. He loved his smile… it was so beautiful, so true… what could have happened that made it impossible for him to smile? Why was there a suitcase? Had he left his parents’ house? He had left right after high school because he had decided to speak openly of his sexuality; something unacceptable for his father. He wouldn’t care less though. He was who he was but that wasn’t Satoshi’s case… So, what could have happened?
After everything was ready, he headed to his bedroom to pick up some clean clothes for the other when he heard footsteps. He looked at his side and saw Satoshi looking at him with a somewhat forced smile. My Satoshi…
“Oh-chan… I chose these clothes for you… I believe that-” he couldn’t finish.
He couldn’t even remember what he wanted to say when he felt Satoshi’s hands wrapping around him, holding him in a tight hug. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This wasn’t the time to think of the other’s warmth… this was the time to be the one Satoshi needed at the moment… his friend. He turned and hugged him back, his heart beating painfully in his chest when he felt Satoshi’s hands gripping almost desperately his sweater. He could feel his sorrow and he hated it.
“They sent me away…” Satoshi muttered with a trembling, weak voice after several minutes of silence. “Because I… I didn’t want to follow my dad’s profession… because I told them I passed the exams of the National School of Fine Arts”
“Oh-chan…” Nino whispered, kissing softly Satoshi’s soft hair. “Parents don’t always understand… People… they are stubborn… ego-centric… believing they know the best and don’t care for the others’ feelings, as long as their expectations, their wishes are fulfilled…” his hands were caressing the naked back that still had some water drops.
“I don’t know what I’d do, if I didn’t have you, Nino…” Satoshi said and sobbed harder.
Nino sighed tightening his hands around him. “You are my best friend, Oh-chan… Of course, you’d have me…”
It took a while for Satoshi to calm down. Nino ordered some pizza and beers and let the other cuddle with him on the sofa. On TV there would be Satoshi’s favorite Ghibli movie; Hotaru no Haka. It wasn’t the most carefree one but since Satoshi liked it, Nino had no reason to object. Usually, he would be the one leaning on the other but today it was the opposite and Nino had to fight with himself.
It was a torture but he knew the other needed it. He had tried to focus on Satoshi’s words and not on the fact that his body was glued on his, his hot breath hitting on the crook of his neck but his body was stubborn. His breath had started being heavy, his mouth dry… he cursed when he realized a bulge was forming inside his pants. What would he say? He tried to move the other a bit and to his surprise there was no objection. Nino could only smile. Satoshi had already fallen asleep, rolled up, as he was, to himself like a ball.
Nino came closer, listening to the other’s slow breathing… he looked like an angel… he was an angel… Nino kneeled next to him, his eyes moving from the long eyelashes that covered beautifully his eyes, to the slightly due to the heat flushed chubby cheeks… and then to his mouth with those pouty lips being was half-opened. Without even realizing what he was doing, he let his hand caress feather-like that beautiful face that kept haunting him; from each eye to that nose and then to cheeks moving lower to the jaw line. It felt so soft under his touch… so perfect.
He could see the stains of dry tears and he wished they were never there… Satoshi should never cry… He leaned closer… his heart was beating crazily against his ribs… he was biting his lower lip, trying to reason himself… but he knew it was above his power. He closed his eyes and let his lips touch the ones he was dreaming of. They tasted sweet… yet bitter… because they would never kiss him back… they weren’t his and never would be…
He fell on the floor, feeling his eyes watering… He had just stolen a kiss from Satoshi… a kiss he craved for and knew he had no right of… Satoshi moved a bit in his sleep, making Nino gasp. What had he just done?! He ran to his bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror.
“How can you dare to call yourself his friend?! He came to you for comfort and all you do is… such low, selfish things…” he hit the basin with force feeling hot tears falling down his cheeks. “You are the worst friend, Ninomiya Kazunari… the worst…”
~.~.~
Nino frowned when he woke up with a smell of freshly toasted bread and coffee. He opened his eyes and walked slowly to the kitchen surprised to see Satoshi having prepared breakfast. On the table he could see butter, marmalade, honey...
“Ah! Good morning, Nino!” Satoshi said with a smile that told Nino the other was feeling better.
“Oh-chan…” Nino walked closer and let his hand give his usual little smack on Satoshi’s butt. “Is that how you try to wheedle the ladies? With western-style breakfast?” he asked winking at his friend playfully.
“Brat!” Satoshi said trying to muffle a laugh as he sat on the table. “Shut up and sit down!”
Nino laughed but he had seen it… that faint blush on Satoshi’s cheeks. He took a deep breath in an attempt not to show the nervousness that was building up inside him. They ate breakfast in silence and it was only when they brought the empty plates to the sink that Nino spoke.
“You can stay here for as long as you want…”
“As… roommates?! You mean it?” Satoshi asked, hope being reflected on his eyes.
Nino smiled nodding. “Yes… as roommates and yes… I mean it!”
Satoshi hugged him tightly. “I love you, Nino! You really are the best friend I could have!”
Nino smiled bitterly as he brought hesitantly his hands on the other hugging him back. “I love you, too…” the words came out as a whisper and wasn’t sure if the other had heard him or not.
Satoshi broke the hug and pushed Nino back on his seat. “I will do the dishes! We’re roommates, right?”
Nino couldn’t help but smile. It was this Satoshi that he wanted to see… this smile… this glow… and if could be of any help, he had sworn he’d be by his side… always…
“Great! Since you like doing the dishes, I’ll leave this task on you! And the laundry by the way… I wouldn’t say no!”
“Only if you do the cleaning and be in charge of the garbage!” Satoshi replied and laughed loud when he saw Nino’s pouting face. “It was you who started it! The only right thing to do is to divide them…”
“Sneaky Oh-chan!”
“Learnt from the best!” Satoshi winked at him and Nino laughed. It was these moments that made the latter say that being Satoshi’s friend was really worth it.
~.~.~
Two days later the bed they had ordered had arrived and placed in the room next to Nino’s one, inaugurating that way officially their cohabitation. That night they had ordered sushi to celebrate along with Jun and Masaki. The first was still living with his parents while being in a search of a small apartment and the latter had already moved in with his girlfriend. They were together only nine months and everyone thought it was too fast but Nino knew that Masaki’s deepest wish was to have a family. In a way he could understand him… what could be better than coming home, knowing that you will spend time with your precious one?!
“I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun!” Masaki said happily as he finished his second beer.
Nino only smiled, his gaze avoiding Jun. He could feel that the latter was staring at him all the time. He knew Jun; he knew that his friend most probably disapproved of his decision but he would never go back.
He had just thrown the garbage in the bin outside the house when he heard footsteps behind him. “And I was wondering if you’d come!” he tried to sound not nervous.
Jun came closer. “You know this is not a good idea, Nino…”
“He needs me…” Nino replied and ran up the stairs not giving the other the chance to say anything else. Yes… perhaps it was not a good idea for him. He knew that living together with the one he was madly in love for two years would put him in challenging situations, but for Satoshi surely was. That wide, genuine smile of his proved it…
He entered the apartment smiling fondly when he heard Satoshi’s laugh echoing in his ears. Yes, it was… Because he was his friend… and above all he cared…
Current Music: Arashi - Hero
Current Location: my room
Current Mood: 
refreshed
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