Title: Games of Betrayal and Loyalty

Author: Andy-chan (antimiya88)

Pairings: Sakuraiba, Junba, Matsumiya, Ohmiya (past), Aiba x Takkey (mentioned), Jun x OC (mentioned)

Genre: AU, Romance, Angst, Slice of Life

Rating: R

Summary: Aiba Masaki and Matsumoto Jun are two of the hottest names in the show business. Both of them successful actors weren't afraid of revealing their relationship and now they are portrayed as the 'ideal couple'  by the media but are they really as happy together as everyone believes? Masaki can't help but feel uneasy when he meets Sakurai Sho, a young journalist, who seems to be able to see through him. Will the secrets be revealed? And if yes, would that mean the end or probably the beginning of something new, a lot more fulfilling?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys, unfortunately.

Part 1   /   Part 2   /   Part 3

Jun turned around and looked at the man sleeping next to him. With the first sunrays invading in the room, he could see noticeable marks around his neck and lower on his torso. He felt an irresistible desire to trace them with his fingers when remembering how that skin had felt against his. He couldn’t describe why but the attraction, that was burning him inside, was still as strong as last night. It wasn’t that he hadn’t felt lust towards Masaki… He could still remember numerous crazy, passionate nights that neither wanted them to end but this time it was different. This time it felt as if his body was lost in the desert and had suddenly found an oasis made just for him.

It didn’t feel like a one-night stand. Usually, in such cases, there would be no real connection… the kisses would be avoided… while with this man, now asleep on his bed, he felt a connection; a connection he was sure it wasn’t one-sided. It was his eyes… his beautiful, almond-shaped eyes that pierced through his soul. As if they didn’t need to say anything; they had already said everything just by looking at each other. Jun had seen them… the tears that the other tried not to shed while he was thrusting inside him. He knew they weren’t tears of pain or displeasure as he knew they weren’t tears of pleasure, as well. They were probably tears of surprise… of a mix of emotions they both shared. The way the small-figured man’s hands had been clawing on his back was desperate, it betrayed his need for touch, closeness…

That cold, provocative tone that Jun had heard him using when he had spoken to the paparazzi had given its place to a shy, almost hesitant to plead one. His voice was so much more beautiful like that… it felt real… honest… free for every mask he had to put on because of the society and its rules. When the other came too cuddle close to him, curling up, his hand searching for his, Jun felt as if he was holding in his arms a wounded, afraid, little kitten that above all needed love and protection… He knew nothing about this man yet he felt as if he knew so much.

And to his surprise, Jun had slept better than he had in a few months.

After his last night with Masaki, he had decided to let everyone say whatever they wanted and mourn… “A break-up is another form of a small death” was what his mother had told him when he was still in junior high school and his father left their home. Back then, he couldn’t understand what his mother’s words truly meant. She had never let herself break down in front of him but now he knew… she would do so when she was sure no one would see her.

He had tried to stay calm but when he saw the way everyone attacked Masaki during his press conference he swore he wouldn’t let it pass like that. That man had made him suffer but he wasn’t the only one to blame. Like Masaki had supported back then, it takes two to reach this point and Jun knew the largest part was because of him… he had been too stubborn to let Masaki speak. Of course, that didn’t change anything; once the glass is broken, it can’t become brand new but he still felt guilty and that made him angrier.

He would be followed whenever he leaved the apartment. He was sure some of his neighbors were paid by all those shitty papers to inform the paparazzi when he was coming out. It seemed they still weren’t satisfied. He thought with the time the whole scandal around his and Masaki’s name would faint but no… their names were still selling. The price of fame… he had come to conclude bitterly hoping that his ex was coping with the whole thing.

His nights were usually restless. No matter how tired he was, sleep would deny his visit. Most of the times, Jun ended up closing his eyes, exhausted, for a couple of hours after the sun had risen. Yet this night was different, calm. He had surprisingly managed to dive into a calm, dreamless sleep.

He stared at the man sleeping on Masaki’s side. It was foreign and in the same time natural, familiar; as if this Nino could have this side. Before he could realize, what he was doing, Jun was already leaning closer to the other, his lips pressing softly on the small forehead. His lips curved into a shy smile when he saw him frowning in his sleep.

Cute… he thought and smiled wider. Suddenly his smile disappeared, sitting up on the bed as sudden fear filled his heart. Why was he doing this to himself? Why was he allowing himself believe in something it most probably didn’t exist in the first place? Was he really ready for another possible disappointment? He buried his face in his palms trying to ease his fast heartbeat.

He almost screamed, startled, when he felt two arms wrapping around his waist and a mouth almost attached on his nape.

“Don’t feel agitated...” the words were spoken softly, almost like a whisper.

“I woke you up?” Jun asked without turning his head to the other. He was afraid of what he would come across with. It was the time for goodbye anyway…

A soundless gasp left his throat when the small hand cupped his right cheek causing him to turn so that their eyes could meet. “I was awake… and I could feel you staring at me… kissing me… caressing me…”

“Sorry about that. My emotions are on a roller-coaster lately. The bathroom is the second door on your left” Jun tried to stand up but a grip on his wrist forbid him from making a step forwards.

“We both know that this night meant something… I can’t name it… I don’t know what it was but I’m sure I’m not the only one who felt it… Your eyes…” Nino came closer till he was sitting on Jun’s lap, his hands cupping both his cheeks, his eyes locked on the other’s. “Exactly like my eyes didn’t lie…”

“We are strangers…” Jun mumbled hoping the flutter in his heart would stop. What was happening? Why did this man have such an impact on him? No… This wasn’t him… He always made each step carefully, took every decision after judging with clear mind its pros and cons, yet here he was with this man on his lap, wanting nothing more but feel him again… Why?

“I know. I was trying to reason myself all night… but then this morning when I felt your hot breath on my skin, feeling your warmth this close… I realized that I didn’t need to reason anything. Sometimes logic has no place…”

“This is crazy… It was only-”

“Sex?” Jun saw the way Nino’s eyes saddened. “I’ve had nameless sex in my life. Many times; and I can assure you… what we had last night could be many things but only sex. No… I can see it in your eyes, like I’m sure you can see it in mine…”

“But I can’t give you-” Jun didn’t finish his words as he felt the smaller man hugging him tightly, almost desperately.

“I don’t ask for commitment, nor a relationship. I can’t give them like I know you can’t either… But I know there’s something… a connection… We can understand each other more than we dare to admit… why don’t we just continue without putting on labels?”

Jun gasped when he felt something hot on his shoulder. Is that…? Is he crying? He made the other look at him, feeling his heart clench. This man in front of him was like him; afraid to give in someone, afraid to love, hurt… Yes, he was right. They did understand each other more than they could admit. He leaned closer, his eyes locked on the half-parted lips. He said nothing… there was nothing more to say. He locked them together, this time slowly. Jun felt the other stiffening for a moment before a muffled sob of relief left the back of his throat. Nino had understood that he had just given him his answer.

Since then, they continued on meeting frequently. Surprisingly, Jun felt as if he wasn’t followed by paparazzi anymore. He felt as if he could breathe again. Nino wouldn’t open up to him, the same way he avoided speaking much about himself. They weren’t boyfriends, neither sex buddies nor were they friends. They were just two people trying to find their faith to humanity back…

They usually met at a secluded restaurant, recommended by Nino. They would have dinner, drink a couple of beers before going back to Jun’s apartment. Feeling the other so intimately was starting becoming addictive, as if they couldn’t have enough of each other, always craving for more. It had always been slow, giving, fulfilling yet passionate, intense enough to make their hearts explode.

Jun would wake up every morning feeling lighter inside; he was finding his optimism back… It was strange. If Masaki was the sunshine, Nino was a cloud ready to throw tons of water and lightning but somehow, he had a similar effect on him. He had brought back his smile; a smile of which Jun had forgotten the existence.

~.~.~

It was Friday and Jun had a very important audition. It was for an indie movie. He loved cinema more than anything so he wanted to try. Before the scandal, he had the leading roles in the biggest productions, now those roles were banned for him but that was what made it more magical. He was exploring another part of himself, like Nino had insisted, and he wanted to take the challenge.

He poured hot coffee in a mug when he heard his phone vibrating. A smile appeared when he saw who had texted him.

From: Nino
Good luck today!
Show them what a true star
really means, J!

The hours seemed like eternity. He was receiving many curious and disapproving gazes but didn’t pay attention. He was there for a goal. When he was called inside he was met with only two people, the director and the producer, unlike the big productions. He did what he was asked with a clear mind, smiling satisfied when he heard the director’s genuine applause. He might have done it.

Once he left, he took out his phone to call Nino, surprised to see him across the street. He came for me? He almost ran to him stopping abruptly when he saw a small-figured, tanned man calling Nino ‘Kazunari’. Jun frowned. It was obvious that this man, whoever he was, knew Nino well, making Jun smile bitterly. He still didn’t know his first name.

“Ninomiya for you!” Nino replied in an offensive tone. “And what the hell are you doing here?”

“My gallery is here, Kazunari…”

“Then, go to your gallery, Ohno-san and stop calling me Kazunari. My name is Ninomiya or perhaps you have selective memory?”

“Sho is right. You’re not happy…”

“I am happy!” Nino shouted even louder this time.

“You are?!”

“Yes, I am!”

“When you destroy so many people’s lives?”

“I won’t continue this conversation…”

“I know… like you know that what you’re doing doesn’t make you happy. When we were together you always spoke of the yellow press with the worst words, yet now you publish one of the biggest… I know you, Kazunari. You are not happy…”

Jun was frozen on his spot, the stranger man’s words keeping replaying in his mind. “Yellow Press… publish one of the biggest… Kazunari… Ninomiya…” That’s why paparazzi sopped following me? You gave them the order? How stupid… He bit his lower lip trying to muffle a sob that was threatening to come to the surface.

He could see the way Nino was trying to calm himself, once this Ohno left him, even if he had his back on him. Jun smiled bitterly… I came to know you this well so soon? What for? He didn’t know how much time he had been standing there when the other decided to turn around. He could distinguish the surprise in Nino’s eyes.

“I don’t know all your methods, Ninomiya-san but I admit that getting involved personally after having caused everything is at least audacity. Have a nice day…”

“No! Jun!” Jun felt a tight grip on his elbow. “Please, let me explain… I didn’t mean to-”

Jun said nothing. He freed his hand and made a nod to a taxi he saw coming to their direction. Once the door was opened, he turned to look at the other who had a mixed look of sadness, surprise, shock and desperation written all over his face.

“We don’t need to name it, do we?” and with that entered without throwing a second glance.

***

“How can I help you, gentlemen?” Nino asked politely when he saw two men entering his office. He knew they were lawyers and he could already guess what they wanted.

“We represent, Aino Mariko-san and Yoshikawa Jin-san’s agencies”

“Let me guess. Lawsuit against the paper?” he wanted to sound unaffected, arrogant but doubted that he was succeeding in it.

It had been one week since Jun left him. One week without seeing him, hearing his voice, feeling his body against his… He was missing him. He knew he was playing with fire but he couldn’t help it; he could now admit it… he had fallen in love at first sight. Was that connection, that deeper, mutual understanding at fault? Maybe… but the result was the same.

He didn’t care about anything. He didn’t have the power to continue… So, he had published an adultery story without having checked it out before. Perhaps, it was the only way to be stopped…

That night he didn’t care to change his clothes; not even to turn on the lights. He just drank…

~.~.~

It was three in the morning when Jun was woken up by his phone. Frowning, he took it in his hands to see who had sent him a text this late.

From: 98383272
I’m sorry but I need to
name it. I love you, Jun…

***

Masaki tried to get rid of his images that kept coming in his mind. He honestly thought that he had found someone who had chosen to be by his side because he really cared… not because he was following a plan to satisfy himself. And me the stupid believed in him… I really believed that everything that he did was true… that he was doing all that because he cared for me when he only cared for himself… All he wanted was to get me in the bed… Tears filled up his eyes. I guess I must have something on me since everyone lately want to have their way with me… Takizawa… now him… Or perhaps that’s my punishment… for having betrayed the one man who truly loved me…

He buried his face on his palms letting his head rest on his knees. He was sitting by the window, at the corner of his living room which was the only one with a view at the small park across the street. It had a calming effect on him. He didn’t remember how many hours he had spent there, at the very same spot and he didn’t care to remember. Sakurai Sho had managed little by little to find his way into his heart. He couldn’t say that he loved him yet but he had caught himself smiling sheepishly at the thought of the other, always looking forward to passing more and more time with him. He had started feeling warm and secure inside… It was different from the way he felt when he was with Jun but it made his heart flutter in a similar way. 

When he stood up, it was already dark outside. He walked slowly into the kitchen to prepare something to eat. From the next morning, he was starting rehearsals for a theatrical show and he couldn’t cause the slightest problem. He wasn’t the star anymore and if he hated not to be a nuisance once, now he couldn’t afford it by any means. He was starting from scratch and he was determined to succeed.

As he opened the refrigerator, his eyes fell on a small plastic red bento. He took it in his hands and threw it with force on the floor. “Damn you! Damn you and your fake care!”

The confusion had started that morning… that morning he saw his face on his bed, making him realize that it was a picture he wanted to see again.

~.~.~

Three weeks ago…


It was the day after the audition. Masaki had exhausted himself during these last weeks, attending many auditions per day while working the night-shift in the local combini for complementing the money necessary for his yearly health insurance guarantee. He had felt weird since the early afternoon but when he started being way too dizzy, he had to leave earlier and managed with difficulty to reach his small apartment. In the past, whenever he’d fall ill, Jun would take care of him but now he had no boyfriend. He had to take care of himself alone. He knew that Sho was working till late at night and he had no right to bother him. Thankfully, he managed to enter in his apartment without falling and take a quick shower. He hoped it would help him but the dizziness was only turning worse.

He was lying on his sofa when he heard his phone buzzing.

From: Sho
I passed by the combini just to learn that you
weren’t feeling well. Why did you leave without
telling me anything? What if you fell?
I’m coming over!

Less than ten minutes later, Masaki heard his door bell ringing. With difficulty, he managed to open it almost crushing against the other who was fast enough to catch him before he found himself on the floor.

“Easy…” Sho said softly as he helped Masaki sit back on the sofa. He closed the door and after taking his coat off and placing the bag he was holding on the kitchen table, he grabbed Masaki carefully by his waist securing his left hand around his shoulders and helped him to stand so that they could reach the latter’s bedroom.

He placed him on the bed before looking around for pajamas. “Raise your hands, Aiba-kun”

Masaki, despite his condition, felt his heart beat accelerating. He frowned confused. At first, he tried to convince himself that it was the dizziness that made him feel flustered like that but then, he could feel the other’s hot breath on the top of his head as he helped him put on the top of his pajamas making his heart skip a beat. He was lost in his thoughts when he heard the other saying something about his legs. He opened his eyes and realized that Sho wanted him to help him put on the bottom, as well. It felt as if his skin was burning at the slightest touch and now he was sure that it wasn’t because of his fever.

“Here you are…” Sho muttered as he covered him with his blanket. “Do you perhaps feel cold?” he asked him softly as he placed his palm on Masaki’s forehead to check on his temperature.

Masaki shook his head negatively. He looked at the other’s eyes, realizing perhaps for the first time how beautiful they made him feel inside just by looking at them.

“I’ve brought you some soup… Let me warm it up a bit, ok?”

Masaki saw him getting out of his room before turning his gaze to his clothes that were carefully folded on the chair. His heart was still beating funnily. What’s wrong with me? He could still feel his head spinning around but he couldn’t deny that having the other by his side was making him so much stronger… It might be because I feel weak at the moment… Yes… that should be it… He had always been the type to love receiving this type of care when he wasn’t feel well enough. This was the first time in a long time that he was alone so Sho’s presence by his side inevitably made him have all these confusing thoughts. He had almost calmed himself down when he saw the other coming back with a bowl of hot chicken soup.

“What… What are you doing?” he asked bewildered when he realized that the other had sat at the edge of the bed, ready to feed him.

“I thought that you needed help to eat… Sorry…”

Masaki bit his lower lip guiltily. He didn’t like the sadness that had covered Sho’s eyes as he spoke.

“No… it’s just that you really don’t need to… I mean… you have come and done all this and-”

“I didn’t do it because I needed to but because I wanted to…”

Masaki could feel his heart accelerating once more and this time he could find no excuse.

“Uhm… I…” his voice was weak, almost hesitant. “I wouldn’t mind some help…”

Sho smiled and immediately took the spoon in hand. “I’m here for you, Aiba-kun!”

Masaki smiled. Yes… he wanted Sho to be there for him…

The next morning, Masaki woke up feeling a lot better. He still was a bit hot but the dizziness had gone. He sat on his bed, his eyes bulging when they met the sleeping figure of Sho, his body being in fetal position on the floor with his head resting on his hands at the end of the bed.

He passed the whole night here?! He got off the bed trying to make as little noise as possible and went closer to the other man. He kneeled at his side looking at his angel-looking face. Masaki saw it this close for the first time and couldn’t deny that it was beautiful, bathed as it was in the sunrays that reached the bed through the window. It was beautiful and gentle… but also tired. He could see the dark cycles underneath the closed eyes and Masaki’s heart clenched. Was he selfish for needing him there? Unconsciously, his hand came to trace feather-like the left cheek, his heart jumping funnily once again at the contact. Somehow, it felt familiar… like home.

The other frowned and growling softly, opened his eyes trying to adjust to the sunlight. “Masaki…?”

Masaki took his hand away but didn’t stop smiling. He was called by his first name… it might be the fact that the other was still half asleep but couldn’t be happier. “Good morning!” he whispered tilting his head on the side, enjoying Sho’s flushed face. They were still very close to each other but Masaki had decided not to leave.

“Are… are you feeling better?” Sho asked in a stuttering way.

“I am, thanks to you…” Masaki whispered and passed his hand softly through Sho’s hair. “Why did you stay here?”

Sho cleared his throat as he tried to stand up despite the numbness he felt at his right leg. “I wanted to make sure you’d be fine… The night hours are always worse…”

“What I meant is why you stayed curled like that? I’m sure your neck hurts now…”

“But…”

“I have an extra futon in the cupboard and, so you know, I wouldn’t mind if you slept by my side… You’ve proven me hundreds of times that you’re a gentleman, Sho-kun…” Masaki smiled when he saw the way the other looked at him when he spoke his first name. “I hope from now on you keep calling me, Masaki, too! I liked how it sounded when you said it earlier!”

Sho was left speechless. It was the first time that the actor was accepting his presence this much. It almost felt as if he had the chance. From the moment, he saw him falling in his arms, he had decided he’d stay there the night. He couldn’t bear the idea of Masaki being ill and all alone. He might fall and Sho didn’t want that.  He knew the other hadn’t truly given him space but he couldn’t leave like that. He could see how shy he was as he had helped him change into his pajamas… he could see how he was hesitating when he had tried to feed him… but he could also see the way his beautiful lips had curved into a smile when he had placed a cold plaster on his forehead for the fever or when he had covered him with his blanket.

Sho’s heart almost melt at the view of the calm, deeply asleep Masaki. He sat at his side and placed a kiss on the top of his head. He wished he could slip at his side and hold him tightly, making sure he’s alright but he had no right. He sat on the floor and let his head on the bed. It was uncomfortable, especially after a long day in the office, but he didn’t care. What mattered was Masaki…

If he had liked and admired the actor before, the more he got to know him, the more he found himself falling deeper and deeper in love. He was discovering more wonderful and sometimes, surprising, sides of his and Sho couldn’t help considering himself lucky that he had the chance to actually be by his side even if it wasn’t exactly the way he wanted. He had made a promise to himself; he’d take all the sadness away from the two most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

So, when he woke up and found Masaki being this close, looking at him with acceptance and something else that Sho hadn’t seen before, he felt as if he was dreaming. It was weird. They had been close quite a few times, yet this time felt… differently? He had called him Masaki and to his surprise, he saw the other smiling. When he heard him calling him by his first name, he was finally sure that something was different and it wasn’t only he who felt that way. Masaki’s pink cheeks, as he helped him sit on the bed, proved that this sweet awkwardness was reciprocal.

They ate breakfast in a comfortable silence, broken by the sound of Masaki’s phone.

“Hello?” Masaki’s eyes bulged. “You… You mean it?” his voice was loud, showing an enthusiasm, Sho hadn’t seen till then. “Of course! Thank you so much! I… I’ll be there!”

Before Sho could realize what was happening, he found himself hugged by an overexcited Masaki who had thrown his arms around his shoulders, making their bodies attach to one another.

“What happened?”

Masaki moved a bit back so that he could see Sho’s eyes. “I did it, Sho! I did it! I got the role! This was the director! I’m starting rehearsals from next week!”

Sho smiled wholeheartedly. Masaki beamed from happiness making him literally glowing. “I knew you could do it, Masaki! I knew it! Congratulations!”

~.~.~

“Why did your hug have to feel so right?! Damn you!” Masaki cursed again, tears blinding his eyesight. He hadn’t realized how much he had fallen for the other but that day… when he found out that everything was nothing more than a calculated-in-detail plan. Suddenly, he felt as if the apartment was suffocating him. “Screw everything. I need to get out of here! I need some air…” he grabbed a coat and his wallet and left.

***

It had been months since his legs brought him to the small bar he frequented when he still was with Jun. He smiled bitterly. Now, I have no one…

He entered and headed directly to the bar.  “Tequila!” he ordered and took out his phone. He had left it closed the whole day. He opened it to find tens of missed calls and texts; all of them from him.

He felt tears filling up his eyes but stubbornly, blinked them away.

“Your tequila, Sir”

Masaki drank it in one go enjoying the way it burnt his throat.

“Haven’t you learnt that you shouldn’t drink like that?”

Masaki’s eyes bulged. When he looked at his side, he found no one else but his ex-boyfriend being in a not much better state.

“Jun…?”

“Coincidences are funny! Don’t you think?” Jun mumbled as he finished his drink in one go.

Masaki knew from Jun’s tone that he wasn’t referring to their encounter at the bar but at their state.

“I guess we can never underestimate life’s games…” Masaki mumbled before ordering another tequila one-shot.

“Don’t make the same mistake…” Jun’s words hit Masaki like lightning.

He bit his lower lip. “While you can?”

They looked at each other for a few seconds without saying anything. To Masaki’s surprise, Jun pulled out a few banknotes and threw them on the barstool before grabbing his wrist, pulling him out of the club.

“Drunkenness only brings more problems. Go and figure things out without alcohol, Masaki. I don’t doubt that you will find the best solution. I always admired your way of thinking, simple and clear. Go!”

Masaki hugged the other. “And you… don’t let doubt eat you inside… Speak… even if it hurts you…”

Jun hugged the other back, surprised not to feel nervous… perhaps because above everything, they had always been good friends.

“I’m sure he’s waiting…” Masaki was pushed in a taxi that immediately left.

***

With Jun’s words in his mind, he reached his floor, twenty minutes later, not believing whom he came across with. Sho, curled at the corner of his door waiting for him who knew for how many hours.

“Stupid…” Masaki whispered knowing that it must’ve been freezing. “Sho! Sho!” he shook Sho’s shoulders a bit to wake him up.

“Hmm?” Sho jumped up the moment he realized Masaki was in front of him. “Masaki!”

“What are you doing here?” Masaki asked trying to not sound too emotional.

“Please… listen to me…” Sho grabbed the other by his shoulders.

“I believed in you… and you-”

“Please… hear me out… please…” Sho’s plead was desperate.

“Why should I listen to you, Sho? You-”

“Because I love you, Masaki, and I know you love me, too…” Sho cut Masaki off.

“No… I-” Masaki didn’t have the chance to speak or even remember what he wanted to say in the first place. Sho’s lips had already found his; eagerly, passionately, desperately.



TO BE CONTINUED…






A.N. Sooo minna here's part 4! ^_^ I know I'm a bit late but was way too busy these past few days and had no time to reread the chapter in order to post it but finally here it is! :) This time it was written more through Jun's POV! I wanted to show the dynamic in the 'relationship' between him and Nino; his thoughts, his fears... As for Sho and Masaki, I showed a part of what had happened this past month and how they came closer - I think some fluff was needed! xD Perhaps, Junba encounter was the key so that both Masaki and Jun can face their problems and see further than their hurt feelings! I promise you more details in the next one! Both Sho and Nino will have to clear things up! You'll learn everything concerning Ohmiya and Sakumiya! And there will be a surprise! You'll see! ;D
What I can assure you is that the angst will be getting at its end! ;)



I really hope you enjoyed it and as always your comments are <333!!!



See you very soon,
Andy ^_^