Part 7

Sho was watching his boyfriend sleeping peacefully on top of him. His body had turned numb as they were both on Masaki’s sofa but he didn’t mind. The weight and the warmness was making him feel happier than he had ever been in his life. He still couldn’t believe that Masaki was his boyfriend but he had heard the sincerity in Masaki’s words, the same way he had felt the love while he was making his for a second time.

“I love you so much…” he whispered, pressing his lips on top of Masaki’s head just to gain a small whine in return.

Just holding him like this felt so natural, as if they belonged together. When he came to find him the previous night, he was determined that the other might reject him… When he kissed him out of the blue, he expected the other to push him away... When this morning, he heard Masaki speaking of his insecurities, his fears he wanted to chase them away…. When he revealed everything, he was afraid that he would be sent away.

He wasn’t as strong as Masaki believed he was but he had decided to fight, even if it meant pain till the end and he was glad he had taken this decision because now, he was rewarded with this wonderful feeling of having the man he loved the most in his life sleeping on top of him with no more hidden truths, questions and answered parts of the past. Masaki told him that he wanted to be with him, that he believed in them. Masaki was his boyfriend. His lips curved into a smile. Yes… this adorable man was his boyfriend. He only wanted to see him smile because he deserved it… and Sho was determined to see his smile every single day.

“My love…” Sho whispered again, lost in his thoughts, without realizing that the other had already woken up.

“I like how it sounds, when it comes from your lips…” Masaki mumbled in a raw, due to the sleep, voice.

“I woke you up?!” Sho asked, his right hand brushing through Masaki’s hair.

The latter turned around so that he could look at Sho’s face better, placing his hands on top of the other’s torso and resting his jaw on them. “No… it was time for me to wake up, though I admit that if you start waking me up like this I might get spoiled and demand kisses and sappy words to be my alarm from now on…”

“Even if you didn’t demand it, I would… and not only to wake you up but whenever I had the chance!” Sho said and pecked Masaki’s lips enjoying the small blush that had covered his boyfriend’s cheeks. “You’re so cute…”

Masaki lowered his eyes, his lips curving into a hint of smile. “I love you…”

Sho wrapped his arms around the slim waist, pressing their bodies more. “I love you more, Masaki…”

Masaki didn’t say anything in reply. He captured Sho’s lips into a soft, full-of-feelings kiss before burying his head in the crook of Sho’s neck.

“I can feel your heart… I like the way it feels against my body…”

Sho chuckled as he tightened his grip around his boyfriend. “I’m glad because it beats only for you…”

Masaki pressed his lips on Sho’s neck letting the other feel that he was smiling. “I can’t imagine how a sweet talker like you, was alone...”

“Because I’m not. I only say the truth and the fact that you are my whole life isn’t sweet talk, Masaki. I love you…” Sho frowned as he felt something warm on his neck. “Masaki?”

The latter moved a bit so that he could see his lover’s eyes. “I love you too, Sho… I’m happy. I can yell it to the whole world that I am happy! At first, I never expected to wake up from that storm…”

Sho cleared the traces of Masaki’s tears before he pecked his nose. “Don’t you know that after a storm there’s always a rainbow? A part of me didn’t want you to have passed through all this mess but I admit, a smaller part, a selfish one, was actually happy for it…” Masaki frowned at Sho’s latter words. “Because it was thanks to this storm that I can hold you in my arms right now…”

“Selfish indeed!” Masaki said as he tried to muffle his laugh. “But still a sweet talker!”

“For you, I’ll be whatever you want me to…”

“Then I want you to never stop being one… I’m a sucker for sappy words…”

Sho smiled before he kissed softly Masaki’s lips. “When do you start your rehearsal for the theater?”

Masaki’s eyes widened. “You remember…”

“Of course, I remember!  It was that call from the director that made you give me a kiss…” Sho replied teasingly before clearing his throat. “But now, seriously… when do you start? Maybe I should-”

“In two days and you’re not going anywhere. I want to rehearse my words with you later this evening. I need you, I mean unless you have to go to your wor-”

“I took a five-day leave. I’m all yours!”

Masaki’s face was shining from happiness making him look even more beautiful in Sho’s eyes. “Then, it’s perfect!” he exclaimed enthusiastically before he let out a small hiss as he tried to get on a sitting position. He managed to with difficulty, his lower back being a bit sore after the passionate moments they shared both in the night and earlier this morning but he couldn’t care less at the moment.

“Are you ok?” Sho asked, his voice reflecting concern.

“I’m fine, Sho!” Masaki replied with a small chuckle. “Just a bit sore… It’s been a while since I had sex for the last time but I honestly don’t care. I wanted it… This little soreness is a reminder that we are now together! After a hot bath, I’ll be in perfect shape again!”

Sho though didn’t seem to share the same opinion, staring worryingly at his boyfriend. “I don’t want you to be in any kind of pain, Masaki. I should have been able to control myself. Especially this morning… I was too harsh when it had been only a few hours since we last-” he was hushed by Masaki’s hand.

“I don’t want you to control yourself… I want you to show me everything you have for me… I want it all, Sho. Last night and this morning, you made me feel treasured, loved, desired. So far, you had shown me your caring side, which I love with all my heart, but I discovered another one… a passionate, rawer but always honest side of yours that made me feel alive. Besides, it was me the one who asked you to make love to me knowing that I might be sore afterwards but not caring about it. I wanted to feel you inside of me. I wanted to believe that this wasn’t a dream… that we were indeed together… Believe me, Sho, I have never felt more complete in my life!”

“But-”

“I don’t want to make the same mistakes…” Masaki lowered his head, his eyes locking on his lap. “I want us to succeed!”

Sho sighed. “And we will…” he said in a low voice as he protectively secured the other in his arms.

“You promise?” Masaki asked in a whisper.

Sho smiled. “I promise. Now, c’mon… Let’s get a warm bath and then we can do whatever you want before our rehearsal starts!”

Masaki’s gloomy face changed back into a smiling one. “Could we go and have a brunch?”

“Are you asking me on a date? Sho said in a teasing tone, enjoying seeing the excitement written all over his boyfriend’s face.

“As a matter of fact, I am!” Masaki replied in a firm, serious way, making Sho to smile wider.

“There’s nothing I’d love more but you should know that you ruined it for me…”

Masaki frowned. “Ruined it?”

“Yes…” Sho pecked Masaki’s lips once again. “Because I would have asked you first!”

***

Jun was watching the coffee he had in front of him, knowing that he had already turned cold. He would lie, if he said he wasn’t feeling anxious about the whole Nino’s meeting with his ex-boyfriend. It was him the one who had pushed Nino into meeting with the artist but no matter how much he had tried to pretend the strong one, he knew he wasn’t. He was afraid. What if the truth was different from what Nino always thought? And if that was the case, what if Nino had to choose between him and Ohno Satoshi? What if Nino discovered that he loved the other more than him?

They hadn’t been together for a long time and Jun knew positively that Nino loved him. But he also knew that Nino had loved Ohno Satoshi so much that he turned into someone revengeful, someone who would hate everyone and never allow the others to approach him. Nino still didn’t want to see him what meant that he was still hurt… he still had feelings concerning this man, even if they were negative… he still cared and that was making Jun anxious.

---

Fifteen minutes earlier…

“I don’t want to do this, Jun… I don’t want to see him…”  Nino had never sounded more insecure than he did at the moment... his voice was trembling and his hand that was holding Jun’s one was covered in sweat.

Jun turned so that he could look at him properly and held him by his shoulders. “I know you don’t want to but you have to, Kazu… You have to move on completely. We have to write a new chapter in our lives. I have cleared things up with Masaki. We have spoken… now, the only one that rests is this one… I believe in you-”

“But I don’t believe in me…” Nino whispered, his head turned on the side. “I hate him, Jun… and I’m afraid if I see him and know everything, I might hate him more and-”

“Whatever it is, we will fight it together… Remember, you’re not alone this time, Kazu… You have me…”

Nino looked up at Jun who was smiling at him reassuringly. “You promise you’ll be here?”

Jun pointed at the small café a few meters away. “I’ll be right there… Whatever you need, call me. Ok? Be strong, Kazu…”

Nino bit his lower lip but nodded.

Jun was watching his lover walking slowly towards the art gallery and with every step of Nino, his heart was beating faster and more painful.

“I love you…” the words came out as a whisper. It was then that he realized how much he had come to love the other... to care for the other… Nino had been the only one with whom he didn’t need to speak and he needed him in his life; no matter what. He knew that he couldn’t see him walking out of his life like that… ‘I believe in you, Kazu… I believe in you…’ he thought and a sad smile appeared on his face. He had to believe in them.

---

His phone, placed right in front of him on the table, still hadn’t rang. Jun couldn’t decide whether this was good or bad. He sighed as he turned his eyes outside the small café. From the window, he could see the corner of the small art gallery in which his boyfriend was at the moment. You have to come back to me, Nino… Please… Sighing, he covered his face with his palms.

He didn’t know how long he had remained in the same position but it was a familiar voice that startled him and pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Jun?”

He turned on his side, surprised to find his ex-boyfriend together with that journalist he had seen on his movie premiere. I knew it would be him…

“Are you ok?”

Jun sighed. Masaki would never change; he would still care for everyone.

“I’m ok…” Jun cleared his throat not wanting to betray the nervousness he felt. “So, I was right when I thought that it would be that journalist the one that had made you drink… You seem happy… You deserve it…”

Masaki smiled, squeezing softly Sho’s hand. “I had a good friend pointing out my mistake…”

Jun tried to smile but failed. He also wanted to be happy, with no questions and no insecurities like in that moment.

“My name is Sakurai Sho, nice to meet you, Matsumoto-san.”

Jun nodded trying to be polite. He could tell by the stiff tone of the other that he wasn’t as delighted to meet him as he tried to sound but who would be knowing that someone had behaved towards Masaki the way he had? “Nice to meet you too, Sakurai-san”

To his surprise, Masaki sat on the empty chair next to him, his eyes staring intensely at his. “Jun, has something happened? You don’t seem-”

Jun patted on Masaki’s shoulder. “I assume you two are on a date, I’d better not occupy more of your time toge-”

“You’re not answering my question, Jun, and before you say anything, we will still have time to enjoy our date. Has something happened with the one you’ve been together lately? I mean… that night at the bar you seemed-”

“He’s meeting with his ex as we’re speaking…” Jun muttered knowing that there was no way Masaki would leave unless he found out everything. “I’m waiting for him…”

“Unsettled stuff?” Masaki asked with concern.

Jun smiled bitterly. “You can say so…”

“But he has chosen you. If you’re waiting for him here, aren’t you together?”

Jun lowered his head. “We are… We spoke… a lot actually but I’m afraid…”

It wasn’t usual for Jun to lose his composure. He had always been the one to control his feelings better than anyone and Masaki felt his heart clench. He still cared for Jun… apart from being his ex, he was still his friend; he had been the one who supported him. He hadn’t let Takizawa have it easy, the same way he had helped him take the right decision when it came to Sho but now he felt it was his job to support him, to be there for him. He owed it to him….

He looked up at his boyfriend and couldn’t be happier when he saw him giving him a reassuring nod. For once again, Sho was proved to be a wonderful person. Masaki knew that the latter didn’t feel completely ok with the whole situation, especially when he had told him how Jun had treated him until they broke up, but with that small nod Sho showed that he had faith in him and respected the place Masaki had decided to keep for Jun in his life.

Masaki could see the mess Jun was. It was obvious that the other was deeply in love with this man, whoever he was. As a matter of fact, he could even say that this was perhaps the only time that the other was truly in love. Jun deserved to be happy… They had both made their mistakes and they had learnt from them. Now, it was time to turn the page and fill it with only happy memories.

“It will be ok…”

“I don’t know…” Jun replied with a trembling voice. This person has caused him too much pain, Masaki. But the problem is that he has never heard the story from the other’s point of view. What if it wasn’t like he believed all these years? I don’t know whether his ex was at fault or not… What if he wasn’t?! What if I lose him?”

“Where is this person you’re talking about meeting with his ex?”

Sho’s question made Jun frown. He looked up at the other man, realizing that his eyes were fixed on the corner where the small art gallery was. It was then that he remembered Nino’s words. “Sho, my friend…” Could this man be…? It felt as if a knot was stuck on Jun’s throat. “Sakurai-san, I’m sorry but are you by any chance Kazu’s old friend? The one from university?”

Both Sho and Masaki stared at Jun with wide eyes.

“Jun, don’t tell me that you are with Ninomi-”

“You know him…” Jun looked at Masaki before turning his gaze to Sho. Of course, he would have told him everything… Jun sighed, knowing there was no point in hiding the truth. “Yes. The person I am with is Ninomiya Kazunari…”

“But… how?” Masaki asked not being able to hide his surprise.

“He found me one night when I was about to hit a paparazzi…” Jun spoke almost in a whisper, his eyes locked outside of the window. “We passed the night together… You can say that I was desperate, I don’t know… I just wanted to feel someone, you know… I was tired of being looked in a criticizing or even more in a pitiful way. He was the first one who knew who I was but didn’t look at me like that. I could tell that he could understand me… and the more time we spent together, the more I felt that we belonged together. I can’t explain it but it was as if we didn’t need any words, as if we could say everything just with our eyes. Perhaps it was because we were both broken… because we both made mistakes. When I found out that it was him the one who destroyed us, I admit I wanted to leave, I felt lost but then I remembered that I had never let you explain to me… and you also reminded it to me, Masaki, didn’t you? “Don’t make the same mistake”.

When he explained everything, I could feel his pain… Who was I to judge him and reject him? He told me he loves me and I believe him but…” Jun took a deep breath before he continued. “But no matter what, I know that he’s not 100% mind and I want him to be completely mine… Even if he hates this Ohno Satoshi, the latter still has his place in my Kazu’s heart and I may be selfish but I want it all for me. So, today we agreed he would speak to him. I want to believe that he will come back to me… but a small part inside of me can’t help being afraid that he might choose him over me…”

Jun buried his face in his palms when he felt a hand rubbing his back slowly.

“I’m sure he won’t let you down, Jun…”

Sho turned his gaze from Jun to Satoshi’s art gallery. He knew that Satoshi wasn’t at fault and in all honesty, before he found out that Jun was told everything, he’d say that the possibility of Nino going back with Satoshi was there but from the way the actor had just spoken, it was obvious that Nino had moved on. Sho knew well that Nino wasn’t someone who would easily open up to others; not only after he had distanced himself and been suspicious over everyone but even before. It had taken quite a long time to let Sho in his life and even more Satoshi.

So, if Nino had let this man enter in his life and lower his walls this quickly, then it only meant that he truly loved him; what mad Sho happier though was that the actor also loved Nino; truthfully and unconditionally. He could recognize his own fears and thoughts in Jun’s words… and he had also heard of the way Masaki had spoken of his relationship with the actor in the beginning. Now that he had met him himself, he had to admit that perhaps, this person was indeed the one for his friend.

“Have faith, Matsumoto-san. Nino isn’t someone who lets someone come really close unless he’s important to him… and I believe you are someone important to him.”

Jun sighed, trying to ease his heart that was beating like crazy.

“Whatever happens, it will be for the best… right?” Masaki tried to reassure him and Jun nodded with a small smile knowing that it would be the only way to make his ex leave and be with his boyfriend.

“I know… and Sakurai-san…?” Jun saw Masaki’s boyfriend making a small nod, his stare not as cold as in the beginning. “I’m happy Masaki found someone that can really make him happy. Please, take care of him; he’s a marvelous person and you might not believe it but I do care for him… I want him to be happy!”

“I believe it and trust me, Matsumoto-san I will make him happy…”

“Jun is also a wonderful person, even if he denies it!” Masaki whispered with a smile and teary eyes.

Jun gave a small nod and made Masaki stand up.

“If I deny it, you’ll never leave! Please, go and enjoy your date!”

“We will but Jun… you will be happy, I know because you deserve it!”

Jun said nothing in return just waved with his left hand, sighing rather relieved when he saw them going to the back of the café. He wasn’t used to open up either. Masaki’s words, even Nino’s friend’s ones, were meant to make him feel better but the nerves were still there, eating him up. He turned his gaze to his phone. It was thirty minutes since Nino had gone to meet with Ohno Satoshi and still no sign of him coming back.

“I will try my best to have faith… but please, don’t be late, my Kazu…”

***

Nino couldn’t believe his ears. Protect him?! Satoshi did everything to protect him?! By whom? And why?

“What the hell are you talking about?” he hissed angrily. He had decided to hate him but that small phrase seemed to turn his world upside down. “Are you trying to make fun of me?” he asked furiously as he looked at the older man, his sight blurry because of the tears that threatened to fall on his cheeks.

Satoshi turned around, avoiding Nino’s questioning gaze.

“It was eight months before our anniversary when he first came to meet me. I had no idea who he was… It was when he gave me a check of a million yen to break up with you when I realized that your eyes had quite a similar shape to his, only that his were cold, empty…”

Nino gasped. It can’t be…

“Even if I couldn’t tell exactly how powerful he was, I knew that this person, Ninomiya Ryuhei, could mean no good. You were the first person that had made me happy and there was no way that I would let anyone separate us.” Satoshi stopped for a few seconds. “Then, he told me that if I let him go, he’d accept you back home and you wouldn’t have to fear of being molested or even encounter the threat of being sexually harassed… There was something in his voice that made me shiver. If he knew, it meant that not only didn’t he do anything to protect you but he may have been behind everything.

It was then that I realized that it was my job to protect you completely. I declined his offer and told him to go to hell.  Later that day I asked you to come and live with me… It’s not that I didn’t want to before, because I would lie, if I said no, but I knew I was a difficult person, Kaz-… Nino. I didn’t want to drive you away but you proved me wrong; not only didn’t you leave, but you gave me more.

I felt lucky… I felt that I could conquer the world with you by my side. I still remember the way you’d sleep with your book on your lap just because you didn’t want to go to bed when I was working on a painting till the early morning. It was small moments like these that made me invincible. For a few months, there would be no trace of him; I thought he had given up…” Satoshi chuckled before letting out a sigh. “How naïve was I? One day I found an envelope. Inside, there were photos of you and some men having surrounded you, molesting you…

They were from back then when you were living in the streets. There was also a letter inside to enlighten all details. In a few words, in the letter there was a clear threat that these pics would find their way to the media presenting you as some kind of rich kid who had gotten bored and decided to become a whore for fun…” the disgust was clear as words continued coming out from his mouth. “I got panicked… I went to find him in his office… Surprisingly, he accepted me. Once again, he offered me money but I declined. I asked him why couldn’t he let you be with me? “He dared to disobey me and follow you; a mere, misleadingly visionary artist” were his exact words. I understood… It was his pride; you had dared to disobey him, to follow your own path that wasn’t designed according to his will.

I realized he considered you a puppy; a puppy that was meant to follow blindly his masters’ orders. He told me that if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have made it… you would have gone back and that way he could make the best… use of you.” Satoshi’s voice had turned low as he continued speaking. “He told me he had many work partners who would like to fuck a young boy in exchange of business deals… I still remember how cynical he was. “What better bait than Kazunari?! He’s cute enough and he likes it to be taken anyway! It would be two birds with one stone!” I was sick… and I felt sicker minute after minute. I told him that you wouldn’t go back… that you had found your way in life… that you were a strong young man. To my surprise, he agreed. I’m sure he was watching you closely; he had lost but he wanted you to lose something as well, he wanted me to lose something as well.

I was ready to leave when I heard him laugh. I turned around and saw his eyes sparkling dangerously.  He told me that if I didn’t leave you, he would hurt you… I could tell that he would… I wished I was someone who could win against this monster but I wasn’t. Even if I went to a lawyer, I wouldn’t be able to win… I was just a poor artist. So, I decided to let you go. Perhaps in the future, he may lose all this power. Perhaps, I would become more powerful. I believed in us… So, I decided to do what I had to do back then; protect you.

I knew you wouldn’t leave me easily; not without a fight… I wouldn’t either… So, I had to make you feel betrayed… I needed a shock. After giving it some thought, I asked from my tutor to play this small role for me. Sho had informed me that you were preparing a surprise for me on our anniversary, so I called him to the apartment. I saw you from the window coming with that beautiful smile on your face that made me want to kiss you senselessly… and then I heard the door. I wanted to throw his hands away. I wanted to scream at you that I loved you, that I had nothing else to say, that there was no other man for me… but I couldn’t. I saw you going to the small park and then leave by throwing the bag in the dustbin… I climbed down the stairs and saw it… I started kicking the dustbin with all my might, not caring if the people that were passing by thought I was crazy…

It was around midnight when I dragged my feet back to my apartment. My eyes fell on the painting that was left hidden from you at the corner. It was your portrait. I was working on it secretly when you’d be asleep. I wanted it to be perfect… to show you how you were through my eyes… But I couldn’t… I didn’t tell Sho anything. What mattered was that you were safe…”

Satoshi took a deep breath trying to put his thoughts in order. “But then… I saw you changing… You’d sleep around… you’d be happy with other people’s misery… Somehow, I saw someone who wasn’t my Kazu… he was a complete stranger. For the first time in my life, I thought that perhaps I didn’t know you. I was missing you, I was crying the whole day and I was seeing you behave nothing alike… I started believing that perhaps you weren’t as strong as I thought you were and even worse; that perhaps you were hiding a side so dark that I couldn’t believe it existed in the beginning. I was stupid… I couldn’t accept it… I didn’t want to hate you, so I left… I had a scholarship for California and I went there, trying to learn to live without you.

It was only some years ago that I came back. I accidentally saw you walking out of a combini. You were moving like a robot; as if you were a shadow of your old self. As the years passed by, I started realizing that perhaps I should have told you the truth, that we should have fought together, that I shouldn’t have judged you. I should have stayed by your side when you needed me the most. I found Sho and explained everything to him. He called me stupid and many other names and he was right; I was. I tried to find you; explain…  but I knew it would be in vain…”

Satoshi dared to turn around only to see Nino standing shocked on his spot, tears running freely down his face.

“When I found out that the two actors had filed a lawsuit against you, I realized that by pushing you away the way I did back then, that monster’s wishes had come true; you had destroyed your life. I failed… I’m sorry…” the word came out as a whisper, as if Satoshi had finally given up.

Nino didn’t know what to say… For so many years, he had believed that Satoshi had cheated on him… had grown tired of him and decided to continue his life with someone else… but now… now, everything had turned upside down. He had lived all this mess because of his father? Because he hadn’t become the good in his father’s trade market? Because he had managed to live his own life?

His knees got weak and soon found himself on the floor, his heart pounding crazily. He wanted Satoshi to tell him that he didn’t love him anymore; that he had been a jerk; that it was his fault but now, after everything he found out, he couldn’t… Satoshi wasn’t a jerk; Satoshi did love him and it wasn’t his fault… It was that bastard’s fault… That’s why Sho was telling me that I should listen to Satoshi’s side of story… He knew that he had done nothing wrong… but I blindly continued on refusing…

“Kazu?”

Nino gasped at the sound of his name. It felt like yesterday when he had heard it coming out from Satoshi’s lips and it still sounded so melodic. It was still beautiful… He dared to look up and meet Satoshi’s face which was now only a few inches away from his. His heart started beating faster as Satoshi’s hand brushed softly through his hair.

“I’m really sorry for putting you through all this mess… I thought I was protecting you… I couldn’t realize that it was the wrong thing to do… I was stupid but I loved you too much…”

“I…” Nino mumbled under his breath, his eyes locked on Satoshi’s. He could see the pain written in them… but he could discreet something else as well… hope… and love…

“I still love you… I tried to move on… but I couldn’t… You would always interfere in my thoughts, you’d always be there… with me… I just can’t let you go, Kazu…”

Nino felt his lips tremble.  Unconsciously, he raised his right hand and traced feather-like Satoshi’s right cheek. It wasn’t as chubby as it used to be, but the skin was still soft as silk. So different from Jun’s... He gasped. What was he doing?! He had Jun… Jun was waiting for him a few meters away from there.

“Kazu…”

Nino closed his eyes trying to ease his heartbeat. He had never felt more confused. He wanted to yell, to curse, to start crushing things down. He wanted to escape. He had to… He made a few steps forward but felt a hand on his arm.

Satoshi could sense Nino’s confusion. Nino had told him when he came in that he had found someone to love. He was telling him the truth but Satoshi had also seen the way Nino started getting more and more confused as he heard him speaking. He could sense his indifference turning slowly into care… he wanted to fight. He wanted to fight till the end. Before, Nino didn’t know the truth but now, that he did, Satoshi wanted to claim his position in Nino’s heart. So, before the other left, he grabbed him by his arm.

He leaned without breaking the eye contact. He was giving Nino the time to go back but the other didn’t move, so he leaned closer, his thumbs wiping the remaining tears away before pressing his lips on top of his ex-boyfriend’s. They were still as soft as he remembered them. He didn’t move them until he felt Nino’s hands shyly finding their place on his back, as he tilted his head on the side to give him more access. The kiss went on till Nino abruptly pushed Satoshi away.

“I will be waiting for you on the bench outside my old apartment until midnight… If you don’t come, I promise I’ll never bother you again and I will respect your decision about my place in your life; that’s of course, if you want me to have one.  Whatever it is, I promise, I will respect it…”

Nino said nothing. He left the art gallery still trying to realize everything that had just happened. He looked at his watch and to his surprise, one and a half hours had passed by. Would Jun still wait for him? Jun… His steps grew heavier as his mind went to the actor. What will I do?

He walked towards the small café and he saw him holding his face with his hands. It was obvious that he was worried… Nino wanted to go inside, to hug him, to tell him that everything was alright but he couldn’t. He had never been more confused in his life. When Satoshi kissed him, it had felt like home… but then with Jun he felt safe… he had forgiven him when he had every right not to… he was the only one who had managed to brighten his life… he was the one who had helped him the most when he needed it and he was the one who had insisted on meeting with Satoshi that day… Jun was a great man and Nino knew positively how much he loved him.

He was lost in his thoughts when he heard his name.

“Kazu?” Nino looked up and realized that Jun was now standing in front of him. His eyes were trying to read him. “Are you ok?”

Nino only nodded, afraid of how his voice would come out.

“Will we go home?”

Nino bit his lower lip. “Jun, I’d appreciate it, if I had some time on my own… I-”

“It’s ok… I understand…”

Nino could detect the bitterness in Jun’s voice but preferred to remain silent. He needed to clear things up. He had to make an honest discussion with himself, so that he could finally live his life the way he wanted it.

“Thank you…” he whispered avoiding his boyfriend’s gaze.

“I will be in my apartment…”

Nino knew what the other meant and his heart clenched. He was hurting him but before he went to him, he needed to be sure that he’d never hurt him again.

Jun saw Nino walking away unable to reach for him, to stop him, until his figure disappeared. I will be waiting for you, my love…

***

Nino looked at the person in front of him and immediately his lips curved into a smile. The sight in front of him made it now perfectly clear to him that he didn’t need this confusion from earlier. He came closer, trying to make as less sounds as possible. It was only when he covered the other’s eyes with his hands that the latter took notice of his presence.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that I had nothing to think about…” Nino whispered in the other’s ear before pressing a soft kiss on his cheek.

In a blink of the eye he found himself on the other’s lap, two arms wrapping around him. “I would have waited as long as I had to… I wouldn’t give up so easily…”

Nino said nothing more. He cupped both the other’s cheeks and claimed his lips passionately. There was no doubt; he was the one he wanted to be with… he was the one for him.

TO BE CONTINUED…