Author: Andy-chan (antimiya88 )

 

 

Part 6

Nino was sitting by the large window of his bedroom, looking blankly at the light blue sky above. He hadn’t slept well, again. Before Satoshi came into his life, passing the night with the older men made his mind blank, helping him in a way to fall asleep afterwards. It may have always been a dreamless sleep, but at least, he could close his eyes. Nowadays, he could only sleep peacefully when he was with the CEO, far away from this house. He closed his eyes sighing. The more he wasn’t with him, the more he was missing him. Now, he had come to realize it clearly. Nino had first feared it when he distanced himself because he needed to clear things out inside and make sure Jun would stay unharmed by his whole mess. Now, it was Satoshi the one, who was keeping him in a distance, and that made his heart bleed. Only at the thought that the older man was pushing him away, he could feel cold sweat covering his body.

With a trembling hand, he took a hold of his phone. On the screen, he could see the unsent text from last night.

To: Satoshi

The bed feels so cold without you…

I hope I will dream of you, tonight,

Feel you by my side…

I miss you, my love… I miss you

so much…

He bit his lower lip painfully. He had no right to send him a text like this… How was he supposed to call him his love, to tell him that he missed him when he was about to cause him so much sadness? His finger found the screen and deleted the message word by word. He wished there were no secrets between them… that he was free to be able to look at him in the eye… to show him that he loved him more than the other hoped… to demand his full attention…

Lately, he could feel it; the underground intensity between them. He had opened up a bit; he had spoken of Jun and some bits of the past but he knew well that it wasn’t enough. How could it be when he was hiding things? He was nothing but a liar… someone who was using Satoshi’s feelings according to someone else’s interest. Nino knew that Satoshi could read him better than any other person. He couldn’t be entirely sincere and was sure Satoshi could tell. Many times, he had asked him to let him help. Nino could feel that his lover somehow knew… maybe not everything but he did. Satoshi, more than anything, needed to feel trusted… needed him to prove that he truly meant it when he told him that he loved him. He had told him many times that he could see it in his eyes but he was still a human. He still needed something more than Nino was giving him.

If only you could see in my heart… Nino thought, feeling a knot stuck at his throat. He sighed deeply. Was he once again overthinking about things? He never spent too much time analyzing things, yet lately all he could think of was his mistakes from the past, his life, the person he loved… He stood up trying to bring himself together. Perhaps, it’s my lack of sleep that makes me overemotional… Perhaps, he does not avoid me… he patted both his cheeks in an attempt to force his tears back. He looked around to find something that could take his mind away but there was nothing; nothing belonged to him. He was a stranger in this house. He might have once thought of it as home -a cold one nevertheless still home- but he had found out the hard way that it wasn’t and never could be.

Now, everything reminded him the reason he was feeling like this at the moment. Every wall, every corner reminded him of the night he returned back broken; empty. It had been the beginning of the new and the darkest chapter of his life that haunted him till now…

~.~.~

“Came home!”

“Welcome, Kazunari-sama.” The butler replied in his usual strict and distant tone.

“Where’s mum?”

“I believe she’s at your little brother’s room. I would suggest you to not bother her at this moment. She must be feeding your younger brother.”

Nino nodded fast and ran upstairs to his room. He closed the door and threw his bag on the floor before he sat on his bed. He was happy that he now had a little brother but he couldn’t avoid that small clench of his heart. As long as he could remember, his mother would never have time for him; yet since his little brother was born, she would always be with him, holding him in her arms, kissing him softly, whispering him things, with a softness he didn’t know she had.  Even when he was five or six and he was ill, he’d always be surrounded by maids. She’d never be there for him; not even when he called for her with tears in his eyes.

Sighing, he headed to the shower and after a quarter, dressed in a pair of jeans and a shirt, got out to look for her. Today, he had found out his grade at the most difficult test at math in school. For the first time, he had written a full 100/100. ‘Now, they will definitely be happy!’ he thought, a shy smile appearing on his face.

He was about to climb down the stairs, when he heard voices coming from his brother’s bedroom. Curiously, he walked closer. He realized that it wasn’t only his mother but also his father. ‘Isn’t he supposed to be working?’ he frowned. ‘And why hasn’t Yamada told me that he’s also here?’

“I think it’s the best, Shinichi.”

“I’m not so sure… He’s still recognized as my child. Nobody knows the truth.”

Nino frowned more as he stopped outside the door which wasn’t firmly closed. He could see his parents sitting on the small sofa next to each other, his mother holding his younger brother in her arms.

“I don’t say that you disinherit him. At least, not now. I just don’t want him in my house anymore. It was enough all these years having him calling me mother when all I wanted to tell him was to shut up.”

“Aiko… You should understand that he remains a Matsumoto.”

“No. He’s your and that slut’s bastard child. She managed to find her way, though. Being able to marry a millionaire actually says a lot about her talents…” her tone was clearly ironic. “I don’t care, Shinichi. I want him to go to a boarding school. They have the fame of prestige and we won’t have him here. I don’t want him anywhere close to my Jun.”

“Bastard, yes; But no matter what he’s still a Matsumoto one. On the papers, he’s our first son. When not even the rest of the family know about this, I would ask you to remain silent. You never cared about him; I never asked you to; So, continue doing so. Now, you have someone to focus on. Jun is only four months old. You have to understand that unless, he gets older, nothing will change. I won’t allow Kazunari to go to a boarding school, Aiko.”

“You don’t care about how I feel…” Matsumoto Aiko said in a trembling voice as she stood up abruptly. “You never cared… If you did, you wouldn’t fuck that maid of yours; that… Ninomiya!”

“Aiko…!”

“You even gave him a name similar to hers; Kazu… nari…”

“I did that so that it would be clear who his mother was in case of another child. Even if he’s a bastard son, he’s still my son, Aiko, and he’s not going anywhere. Comply with it already. I don’t ask you to love him. I ask you to respect my decision. I say he stays with us and he does.”

“You never loved me…”

“You got what you wanted. You became a Matsumoto; you even got the son, you died for. I think it’s only logical to let me get what I want, as well!”

“Women…” Matsumoto Aiko’s voice turned low, full of anger.

“Yes, women. You have a problem with that?!”

Nino couldn’t hear anything anymore. He climbed down the stairs as if he was being chased. He didn’t reply to the butler when he asked him where he was going. He didn’t know himself where he was going; he just knew that he had to leave… he needed fresh air. He just ran, as fast as his legs could carry him. He wasn’t her son… he was a son of some maid… That’s why he never had her… That’s why he always felt he wasn’t good enough for her… them…

Nino sat on a bench he found close to him. His head was lowered as hundreds of thoughts kept coming and going. He knew that his family wasn’t a model one. He could tell that his parents weren’t ok in whatever relationship they had. As a matter of fact, he had seen in what state his father’s secretary would come out of his office most of the times when he went to meet him in the late afternoon, sent by his mother. ‘Probably, because she already knew…’ he smirked. ‘No… of course, she knew… and she wanted me to find out as well… she wanted to make me see who he really was… to crush down my false hope… Only that I had already realized… I knew that he never truly cared for anything else than himself…’ Nino sighed. Yes… he did know that… but he had thought that he wasn’t good enough to prove to him that he was the son he expected him to be… like in the case of his mother… Now, though, he could explain the cold stares he’d always receive. “It’s because I’m only a… bastard…” his voice was weak, trembling.

It was already late but he didn’t want to go back home. ‘Home…’ He muffled a bitter chuckle at his own thought. It had never felt like home… He looked up in the darkened sky and sighed. He had been trying in vain. Now, he finally knew.

He got up and looked at the road. A bigger smirk appeared on his face. “If I’m the bastard one, I might as well start behaving as one…”

The club he entered was crowded. It was Friday night. He had paid the man at the door, so he entered with no big problems. He ordered alcohol. The bartender asked him what he’d prefer but he didn’t know. He just needed something… anything that could make him forget. After the second glass, he felt his head getting lighter. Strangely, the music became more alluring, making Nino want to dance. So, he did… It was only a few minutes later that a young couple, probably in their middle 20s, came closer to him. They were not Japanese… They asked him something in English; he didn’t understand what but he decided he didn’t care… He smiled at them in between his drunkenness, telling them that it was ok, whatever they had in mind. That night he wanted to forget who he was; what he was; everything…

It wasn’t till minutes later that he was dragged to the toilets or more correctly to the dark corridor that led to the toilets. Around them there were people making out, others that, completely drunk, were already moving further than that. It was in a way deliberating. This was one different world from the one Nino had been used to and it felt nice… For the first time in his life he was the center of attention; not one person’s but two. He felt the young woman’s mouth on his neck and the man’s hands on his hips, moving in slow, sensual moves to his lower back. Yes… It felt good…

So far, he had tried to behave like the good son the two people he called parents demanded, hoping that it would be recognized one day. How stupid was he?! He moaned as felt hands teasing him on the right places. Soon, his pair of trousers was lowered, exposing him completely. He only moaned. This felt more than good… He abandoned himself to the two strangers, as their ministrations grew bolder. His body was on fire… He could only hear the young woman whispering in his ear something that sounded like ‘cute’ as her hand was on him, down there teasing him slowly… He wanted more. He craved for release… he was angry, frustrated, sad, empty… He needed to forget… and he somehow did… During those moments of carnal desires and pleasure….

That night was the beginning of a new chapter in his life; that of Matsumoto ‘bastard’ Kazunari…

~.~.~

He still was the same bastard. After everything that had happened, he knew he didn’t deserve love, yet he had met him… Nino’s lips curved into a sad smile. It was the first time he had experienced what true love was supposed to mean. It was the first time after a long time, he felt human again…

Satoshi…

He was still lost in his thoughts when he heard loud bangs on the door. He looked in the mirror close to his bed to make sure he looked ok and asked whoever this was to open the door.

“Can I come in, brother?”

Nino’s lips immediately curved into a smile. “Of course, you can, Jun.”

The teenager who was already a bit taller than his older brother came closer and sat at the end of Nino’s bed.

“What is it? Do you need anything? Is something wrong?”

“You… you didn’t come downstairs for breakfast…” his brother said hesitantly.

Nino sighed. “I had things to do…”

“You always have things to do…” Jun replied sadly. “The only time I got to see you was during my exams… and that’s because I insisted…”

“Jun, it’s not that I-”

“You’re always late at nights, as well.”

Nino held his breath. Had Jun known? Impossible… “I have…”

“Things to do?!” Jun sighed. “I’m not a child anymore, brother! You can tell me that you have found someone! I’m… actually happy that you… did…” the latter words were spoken in a lower voice. “I mean… I have realized that you always come back home late or… spend the whole night elsewhere but it’s a while now that you look… brighter…? Happier…? Or more correctly no; it’s the only time that you seem truly happy!”

Nino looked at his brother closer. He could see a faint blush covering his cheeks. “I just thought to not bother you, Jun… I’d-”

“We’re family! You’re the only person that I can call my family!” Nino bit his lip to muffle the sob that threatened to leave his throat. “And I know that you feel that way, as well. I know that you care for me… If you didn’t, you wouldn’t stay here… in a place that you hate so much!”

Nino gasped. “Jun, what are-”

“I know that you’re my half-brother. I know since I was nine… You still weren’t here but I had heard my parents… I never was happy… Mum always wanted to see me through the image she had created in her mind while my father never saw me… he didn’t care to. I missed you… I might have never truly met you but I missed you. Late at nights, I would close my eyes and imagine how it would be to live with you… to play together…. So, I asked mum. She got angry, only at the mention of your name… she sent me away forbidding me to even mention you again. I couldn’t understand. Later, that night I heard her talking with dad… She spoke of you with so low words. Back then, I couldn’t fully understand them but knew that they were extremely offensive. Even if you weren’t hers, you were still my brother. As I grew up I heard rumors… My mum never failed at informing me, wanting me to hate you… But I never believed those rumors… that you were a bad guy… because I knew her… because she lied about dad loving me…

I was proved right a few years later when you came to live here, again. You remained distant… cold… but I knew that you cared… I knew that you were watching me… Like when you come late in the night in my room… to make sure I’m ok. I’m not a kid anymore… I’ve been watching you closely… It’s only when you think that no one looks at you that you show your real self, brother. I only wish you could show it always… at least, to me. She never was truly by my side… When I was able to understand some things better, I didn’t want even her! I could only feel disgust! Now, she has won my defiance.”

“She’s your mother, Jun.”

“She’s the woman that gave birth to me; not my mother. She didn’t earn the place of my mother.”

Nino couldn’t believe his ears. In front of him, he had a teenager but the way he spoke was matured… so more matured than he was supposed to be… unfortunately, thanks to the same people that didn’t deserve to be called parents.

“Jun…”

“I know that you hate it here, brother. I almost hate it, too. I can’t leave yet while you have this chance but you choose to stay.” Jun’s voice trembled a bit.

Nino sniffed his nose and pulled his younger brother into a tight hug. “Of course, I’d stay, Jun. You’re my little brother. Of course, I’d stay.”

Jun hugged him back. They remained like that for several minutes, both enjoying the comfortable silence.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Eh?!” Jun asked rather startled.

Nino chuckled. “You came here not because I didn’t come for breakfast and definitely not because you had decided to make such a serious talk this early in the morning. You came here because you wanted to talk about something. I also understand a few things… So, tell me… whatever it is…”

Jun bit his lower lip. The blush, Nino had seen earlier, came back, stronger this time.

“Well, I… I… There’s this… uhm… friend of mine… and I can’t stop…”

“Thinking about them?”

Jun bit his lower lip and nodded, lowering his head to his lap. “Yes…”

“You’ve found someone you like! It’s wonderful, Jun. You don’t have to be shy… It’s only natural! I’m happy for you!”

Jun moved awkwardly on his brother’s bed. “No… It’s… the thing is that this person…” he sighed nervously.

“Is someone from your school. Am I right?” Nino said in aa calm voice.

Jun’s eyes bulged.

Nino smiled reassuringly, placing his hand on his younger brother’s shoulder. “The chances would be your school. It’s the place you frequent the most. It’s natural.”

“Yes, but… aren’t you… well… my school is…”

“Boys’ school. And? Jun… You like someone. This someone must be a wonderful person and I couldn’t be happier for you. It’s special to have found someone you like. It’s not their gender that matters but their inner self.”

“But they have always-”

“They had certain expectations of you. They’re not here, though. You said it before… defiance. You don’t have to live by her expectations but by mine. As your guardian, I’m happy for you!”

“Really? You mean it?” Jun’s eyes sparkled.

“Yes! I couldn’t do differently. My special… person also happens to be a man…”

“Eh?! Really?!”

Nino muffled a laugh. “Yes! Really! So, is he a classmate of yours?”

“No… but he’s in the basketball team!” Jun said in an enthusiastic tone. “He’s one year older than me…”

“A senpai… And I guess he likes you back…”

Jun rubbed his ear nervously. “I… I guess so… We have talked a few times and he’s always kind and… well… he asked if we could meet…”

Nino smiled. He could see not a mature person but a teenager in front of him. And he was happy about it. Jun deserved to live without any extra weight on his shoulders.

“I can tell that you don’t guess so… You’re sure of it. And I’m happy for you, Jun. But promise me one thing.” Jun frowned but said nothing. “Before you do anything, please, be sure that you do it because you want it and not because you feel you have to… or… for… other reasons…” Nino muttered with difficulty, taking notice of the way Jun looked at him.

“I… promise…”

Nino was happy Jun didn’t ask more. He didn’t want him to change his opinion about him. In the past, he had done things he wasn’t proud of. He now paid for them the worst way… It was the last thing he wanted for his little brother.

“Brother?”

“Yes?”

“I love you!”

Nino felt his heart skipping a beat. His eyes became teary. “I…” he couldn’t finish his phrase. He heard his phone vibrating; the one he hated it. He closed his eyes, angry of himself. “Go, Jun. We’ll talk later…”

“But-”

“I promise!” Nino cut him off.

“Ok…”

Nino didn’t move from his spot till he was sure the door of his bedroom was firmly closed.

He went to his pocket and picked up the phone. “What do you want?”

“What are you trying to achieve?”

“What’s your problem, now?” Nino frowned confused. “I’m doing everything the way you asked me to!”

“You’re not careful, Nino. The last time I called, it wasn’t you the one who picked it up. I believe you understand what this means…” Ohno Hideshi’s voice was cold and strict.

Nino felt air leaving his lungs. What?! “What… what do you mean, Ohno-san?”

“I don’t intend to listen to my dearest brother’s voice EVER again! If… I repeat. If he has gotten suspicious, you better find a way to change his mind. I don’t know how… Give him head…?! Get dressed as a maid and serve him all day?! Fuck him…?! Do whatever kink he desires for…?! Just make sure you appear together at the gala. If not, I post the photos with your real name at the news and your beloved little brother gets on the spotlight, as well. Your choice!”

The phone slipped off Nino’s hands. No… not his brother… not Jun. With trembling hand, he put it back to his ear. “I’ll make sure, everything’s done as you wish, Ohno-san.” He didn’t know how he had sounded… probably, weak… full of fear… the other knew well how to have him there. “I won’t make the same mistake again…” he whispered with difficulty. “I… promise…”

“You better will…” and with that the call was ended.

Nino was left staring at some blank spot on the wall. Satoshi had found his second phone. He must have heard him or at least, he must have guessed something’s wrong… This may be the reason why he hasn’t called him to spend the night with him… he may have changed his mind. Nino shook his head fast. No… he doesn’t want that. He has fallen in love with him… he can’t lose him… His heart clenched. He also has a brother… a brother he loves so much… the only person he can call family… someone who needs him…

He rubbed his neck, trying to calm himself down. It was him that made himself enter in this maze… he should have known that it’s impossible to find a way out.

I have to pay…

***

“What happened, Nino? The CEO has already gotten tired of your cute little butt or is it that you couldn’t live up to his expectations? And at first glance, he seemed pretty easy to please… Does your talent get rotten?”

Nino threw a deadly glare to the host who was standing next to him. He could see the mocking smirk on the other’s face and he hated it.

“Shut the fuck up. Did you hear me?” he hissed.

“Oh… Is it that you miss him in particular or that you miss a cock in your ass in general?” the other continued on the same tone gaining a few chuckles from the two other hosts that happened to be in the room at the moment.

“I told you to shut up!” Nino hissed angrier.

The other leaned closer, staring at Nino provocatively with his eyebrow raised. “We all know that you love it… I bet… rough…”

Nino smirked. “That’s how you fantasize about me when you jerk yourself off…? That I like it rough?”

The other came closer, trapping him against the wall, with his hand coming to brush Nino’s jawline. “You can’t imagine how I wished I could make you shut the fuck up for once… You wouldn’t be able even to breathe…”

Nino looked straight into the other’s eyes, the smirk never leaving his face. “The one who wouldn’t be able to breathe would be you… you die to have me…” his voice was lower than before, but in the same time arrogant, too. “And you hate it because you know you can’t… You could never have me. My butt is destined for those who can actually afford it or have a talent for it; not for mere assholes like you who still need to read the basic manual. If it was ever to happen between us, it would be you on fours begging me to spank you while I drive my cock into you in a fast pace like the good slut you are!” Nino chuckled ostentatiously when he saw the other flinch at his words. “Haven’t you learnt yet that news travel fast here?” Nino pushed him away. “Now, do me a favor and get lost because honestly, I’m not into the mood for more useless chit-chats, tonight!”

Without waiting for the other’s reply, Nino hurried to leave the small dress-room. He was angry; not so much because of what his coworker had just done or said -he was used to it- but mostly, because what he had told him was what was crawling up on his mind for a few days, now. After having found out that Satoshi had discovered his second phone, he had sent a couple of texts to the other but they hadn’t been able to meet. Nino knew well that Satoshi had the upcoming gala to organize, along with some important deal that he needed to close for the prosperity of one of his subsidiary companies. The uncertainty that kept growing inside him was mostly because he felt the other distancing himself. This absence wasn’t reassuring… especially when he thought of what had happened earlier that day.

~.~.~

Nino had just paid another part of his debt and was about to turn at the corner when with the corner of his eye caught a familiar figure walking down the road. He would have run up to him if it wasn’t for the young man that walked by his side. He looked to be around Satoshi’s age but was taller. ‘Who is he?’ They seemed to talk in a low voice, their faces quite close. It was obvious that they were at ease…  Nino tried to hide when they came closer. His heart was beating fast… almost painful as with every passing second, the questions kept rising inside him. He had asked his boyfriend to meet him for lunch but the other had told him it was impossible because of an important meeting organized by his brother. There was no trace of Ohno Hideshi, though, and the whole atmosphere didn’t look very professional to Nino.

He could feel his hands sweating. He tried to walk back home but after a few seconds of debate with himself, he picked up his phone and sent a small text to Satoshi.

To: Satoshi

Still in the meeting?

If not, I still have time to meet!

Nino

He was staring at his phone screen nervously. Two whole minutes had passed by and still nothing.

From: Satoshi

Still in the meeting.

Can’t talk to you now…

Nino couldn’t hold back. His fingers moved fast as he typed the second one.

To: Satoshi

At the company?

‘Please… Please…’ Nino kept praying that Satoshi would answer no… That he was in a restaurant, having a business lunch… something…

From: Satoshi

Yes. Talk to you later.

He felt tears building up his eyes but denied to shed them. Why had Satoshi lied to him? Who was this young man?  More and more questions kept coming in his mind but tried to lock them away. He felt as if someone had beaten him up. He had never been like that… he had never felt the urge to go and tell that stranger to leave his man alone… that Satoshi was his and only his… His hands clenched into fists, his nails digging into his palms. He didn’t move. He couldn’t do that… not when he had lied first…

‘Perhaps, I’m just over-thinking…’ he tried to calm down as he dragged his feet to his way back home.

~.~.~

Somehow, despite the fact that he was unfocused with his clients, he managed to pass an uneventful night; the last thing he needed at the moment was a scold from his boss. As he entered the small dressing room to get his things and leave, he heard murmurs over him but didn’t pay attention. He didn’t have the power to speak to any of those jerks.

When he stepped out of the club, he felt a droplet of rain landing on his face, cursing his luck. This day was turning from bad to worse. Luckily, he didn’t have to accompany a client that night but the mocking coming from his coworkers along with Satoshi’s absence and that meeting was enough to give him a headache. All he wanted to do is to forget… to stop thinking…

He was about to make another step when he noticed whose car was parked at the corner. Normally, he’d have already felt tiredness go away but tonight, he couldn’t… he felt confused… He saw the back door open and Satoshi coming out, his stare locked on him. Nino felt the air he had in his lungs leave him. He died to go to him, to touch him, to feel him close to his body but in the same time, the image of him along with that man came to Nino’s mind and felt a sting piercing his heart. That made him not wanting to see him… because for everything he was the first to blame.

Ohno Satoshi had made him feel jealous for the first time… This was something new for him. Till then, he had never considered himself possessive; probably because he had never cared enough for someone to feel that way. Now, though, he did… and it hurt.

Unable, to face him at the moment, Nino turned the other way around, walking away in a fast pace, hoping that he could escape without being noticed, as the rain grew heavier. It was when he felt a tight grip on his arm that he realized that this wasn’t an option. He didn’t need to know who this was; he could tell only from his touch. He expected the CEO to say something; anything… but no word reached his ears. Confused, he turned around to look at him and their stares remained locked in one another. Satoshi’s gaze was intense… making him feel naked in his eyes while an annoying silence kept dominating them. Why do you look at me like this? Why don’t you speak?

It had been four days ago that Satoshi didn’t let Nino get out of the bed… that Nino denied taking a single picture. No matter how much he was at stake, that time was too precious for him… them… He wanted to be able to treasure it without feeling dirty… but then… it was Satoshi’s turn to remain away. Nino gulped. Was it indeed like this or he was just exaggerating?

Nino bit his lower lip, as a tear threatened to fall. Perhaps, it was because they weren’t meant to be together… From his side, it had started as a scheme… he was still lying to the other… at least, a part of his was…  and he hated it… he hated that Satoshi would come to hate him… He tried to escape from the CEO’s grip but the latter was proved to be strong.

Abruptly, Nino was pulled close to Satoshi; their mouths only a few centimeters apart. Nino gasped, turning his eyes up to the other’s. They were looking back at him… with an unreadable stare. He could see that the other wasn’t like usual… “You’re not careful, Nino. The last time I called, it wasn’t you the one who picked it up.” Suddenly, Ohno Hideshi’s words came to his mind. He’s been avoiding me because of this…Perhaps, he wants to stop. he felt his eyes watering up. Yes… Satoshi might have started questioning him, doubting… them… Only at the thought, his heart clenched painfully. He didn’t want that…. No… he couldn’t stand it… the same way he couldn’t stand this awkward silence that turned more and more intense between them. Satoshi’s grip tightened on both his arms, as Nino could feel his hot breath on his lips. His chest was moving up and down… Nino needed him… Unconsciously, his hands gripped Ohno’s back, holding him tightly, as if his life was depending on it. They were getting soaked under the rain but no one made a move to leave.

Satoshi didn’t say a single word but Nino saw the surprise in his eyes the moment he held him.

He gulped. He needed to find the power to speak. “Sato-” he tried, but didn’t have the chance to finish as two hot lips claimed his in a passionate, almost desperate way.

The moment he felt them on his, he couldn’t hold back anymore. It was as if they were the magnet and he wasn’t more than a mere metal, completely lost at their mercy. He tilted his head and allowed the other to deepen the kiss opening his mouth invitingly. The older man didn’t lose another minute and let himself explore the other who moaned at the first touch. Their tongues kept moving together, powerfully, sensually. Nino had surrendered himself, his hands lost in Satoshi’s wet hair as he pushed him even closer if that was possible. He had forgotten how to breathe, caring only to feel more. He was panting heavily when the CEO broke the kiss.

“Come to my apartment, tonight…” Satoshi’s voice was low, raw, imposing. Nino couldn’t get tricked… behind all this, there was something more; there was need, plead.

Nino knew that he had no option… because he could never deny this man his wish. No matter how much his logic was telling him the opposite, as much as he had tried to escape, he realized he could do nothing against the other… this man had undoubtedly a power over him…

“Yes…” he muttered breathlessly on his lips. “I’ll come…”

***

Hands were already roaming on his naked body before Nino even had the chance to reach Satoshi’s bed. Clothes were thrown unceremoniously on the floor as they made their way to the bedroom. Nino was thrown on the bed, face on the pillow, moaning loudly when he felt his lover’s weight on his back, covering his body with his. His hands found the headboard, holding it till his knuckled turned white. Their lovemaking was needy; hungry; passionate; As if they were trying to express all their desperations, doubts, fears through it.

Nino didn’t hold back… he didn’t want to… he let out loud screams, as he abandoned himself completely to his lover. He was turned on his back, as they came closer and closer to their climaxes. Nino felt at one moment Satoshi freeze his hip thrusts and was about to whine when he felt the latter’s thumbs brushing feather-like his cheeks. It was then that he realized he was crying. He looked up to Satoshi’s eyes whose gaze was as warm as he remembered… accepting…

Nino pulled him down by his nape, joining their lips together into a wet, sloppy kiss as he rolled his hips in an attempt to make his lover start moving again. Satoshi quickly found his fast rhythm and in less than a couple of minutes they were both coming hard, their bodies trembling from the intensity of their orgasms.

“I’ll bring a cloth to clean us up…” Satoshi whispered and Nino all that could do was to nod.

He was still panting, his eyes locked on his lover’s figure. No matter how many times he had seen him, he would never be able to get enough of Ohno Satoshi’s naked glory. This man was the most beautiful man he had ever met… the most passionate… the most caring… the one that he wanted to give his everything… the one that would never get tired of… the one he loved more than anything…

He managed to sit up despite the soreness he felt at his lower back. He looked around the room… It barely had the necessary furniture… Nino narrowed his eyes. Is this…? He caught with the corner of his eye a frame on the bedside table at the side of which Satoshi always slept when he passed the night there. He moved closer just to gasp. It was them… It was the photo Satoshi had taken when they had visited the beach… Nino took it with trembling hands, his fingers tracing the glass feather-like, as if he was afraid to break it. It was their first date… It had been so peaceful… if it wasn’t for the man sent by Ohno Hideshi, of course. Nino’s lips curved into a bitter smile. It wasn’t a date… it was a trap created by Satoshi’s older brother and him as the latter’s accomplice.

His free hand clenched into a fist, landing with force on the mattress. He was angry… with himself… with Satoshi’s brother… with his past… everything. He was still holding the photo frame, when he felt a hot breath on his nape.

“What’s wrong, Kazunari?”

Nino gasped. Satoshi had called him by his first name. He turned his head on his right where he met the older man’s worried gaze.

“I’m afraid…” Nino whispered, unable to hold back.

“Afraid…? Of what? Does that have to do with those who-”

Nino shook his head fast, causing Satoshi to hush. “No… It’s just that… You have come to mean too much to me… and just the idea of losing you… of us not being together…” his free hand clang onto his chest as he tried to continue speaking without breaking completely. “It hurts…”

“Why are you saying all of that?” Satoshi asked in the same calm tone.

Nino looked back at him and he was sure that the other was trying to read him… to understand… and that made his stomach clench painfully; because he shouldn’t understand. If he did, it would be dangerous.

Nino had tasted it before… it was way too bitter to let Satoshi get even the tiniest sip.

“We didn’t see each other for a couple of days, now and-”

Satoshi sighed. “You forgot that you were also away?”

“No… I don’t… but that’s… that’s why I’m more afraid… I opened up to you… a little… I… thought that it was a start… and then, you disappeared… and-” he bit his lower lip. “I thought you changed your mind over us… and-”

“You’d hate that…”

“YES!”  Nino said louder than he’d ever believe he would. He could sense the doubt in his lover’s voice. “I’d hate it… I’d hate myself because I know it would be me, the one who-”

“Who’d be at fault?” Satoshi cut him off.

Nino let out a shaky breath. “I…” the tears were once again up in his eyes.

Satoshi let out a long sigh. He placed the photo back on the bedside table and pulled Nino in a tight hug, not caring if they became a worse mess than they already were. “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong, Kazu? I may hate my family but thanks to it, I have power… I could do something for you-”

Nino locked his arms around his lover’s neck, holding him close. “I… I couldn’t possibly let you do that… It’s too danger-… I can’t… Please, don’t ask me this again…” Nino moved a bit so that their stares met. “I just want you to know one thing. No matter what you may hear… what happens…” his voice was trembling, as he spoke but he was determined to finish his line. “Know that I never ever lied to you when I say that I loved you… because I do love you, Satoshi. I do!” his fingers traced the CEO’s cheek slowly. “I love you more than I could possibly believe I would!”

Satoshi was about to speak when the most unwanted sound was heard in the room. Nino saw the other freezing. “You should pick it up and then clean yourself.” His voice turned distant in a blink of the eye. “I’ll be in the kitchen… I need a glass of water.” and with that walked out of the room, leaving Nino alone.

Nino cleaned himself hurriedly and put his briefs on before he reached for the phone.

“What?”

“I know you’re with him. Not even think not to ask him tonight. The first thing I want him to announce me tomorrow morning is that you’re going to be among the special guests of the gala, understood? Don’t disappoint me again. You know well, you don’t have the option to but thought to be gentle and remind you once again, Ma-tsu-mo-to-san!” Nino heard a mocking chuckle at the other end of the line and with that the call ended.

Nino looked at its screen before he threw it in his bag, wishing he could crush it. After having taken several deep breaths to ease his raised heartbeat, he walked slowly towards the kitchen. From the corner, he could see Satoshi pensive, sagging against the wall, while he held an empty glass in his right hand. The CEO let out a deep breath before he placed the glass in the sink.

Nino made a couple of steps forward till he was standing behind the older man who clearly hadn’t heard him. He placed his arms around the other’s waist and held him close to his body.

“I’m truly sorry for that…”

“It was them.” This was not a question. It was a statement.

“Yes. I hate it, you know…? From the bottom of my heart, I do. I wish I could send them to hell…”

Satoshi turned around abruptly. His hands holding both Nino’s wrists. “Send them. Let me help you to send them!”

“You don’t understand… I don’t want you to… I’m dirty…”

“Do you love me?”

“I do!” Nino replied with no hesitation. “I love you, Satoshi.”

“Then…” Satoshi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Come to the company gala.”

Nino thought his ears were making fun of him. Had just Satoshi asked him to go to the gala his brother insisted to come?

“What? Why?” He wished Satoshi could tell him the opposite; ask him not to come even if he was himself the one who said it… he didn’t want to give that scumbag the satisfaction he craved for. It would be unbearable for him but it was his fault. It wasn’t Satoshi’s.

“Will you come or not?”

Nino gulped, his mind still running through thousands of thoughts. “Do you… want me to?”

“Yes. But it’s up to you…”

Nino closed his eyes. He wanted to cry but couldn’t; not at that moment; not in front of him. “If you want me to, then… I guess I… could come.”

Satoshi immediately let his hands free. “I’m… happy. Let’s go to bed.”

Nino noticed how his lover’s face twitched when he uttered the word happy. Once again, the atmosphere grew heavy between them. Nino smiled bitterly as his eyes followed Satoshi who walked back to the bedroom. Perhaps, it was a test… for him and his feelings.

I’ll find a way not to make your brother’s wish come true… I’d better die than see you becoming the center of jeers and disrespect. Nino thought as he lied next to Satoshi, curling up closer to the older man who didn’t pull him closer like usually but didn’t push him away either. Nino tried to send away any disturbing thoughts, enjoying the warmth of his lover’s body. I won’t let you get hurt, my love...

***

Nino looked at himself in the mirror. It had been years since he had dressed in such an expensive suit. It was tailored on his measurements, making him be closer to what a Matsumoto was supposed to look like. Tonight, it was show time; the moment Ohno Hideshi was anticipating of and Nino was hoping to avoid as much as possible. The deal with Ohno Hideshi was to help him till he destroyed his older brother’s image completely among those of higher position in Ohno Corporation. The thing wouldn’t go public because that would raise unnecessary question that wasn’t of anyone’s interest. Everything had to happen as noiselessly as possible. Nino would be the ultimate proof of how easily tricked and influenced the current CEO could be and in what ways he was spending the money of which he was in charge. The need of change would be enough to convince the grandfather to allow Hideshi take the lead.

During the past few days, he had met with Satoshi twice for lunch and once, Satoshi had invited Nino to spend the night with him. Every time, though, Nino felt different… the other would be unfocused. He wouldn’t seek for his hand the way he always did from the first time he visited him in the club. Nino couldn’t stand it… neither to lose him, nor to be with him while he was miserable… He knew well how much of a hell was his life with his brother. The same way he knew that he had no other choice. He had to try to save both the persons he loved the most; his brother and his lover. The two that made him feel human again, giving his life a reason.

He had spent hours and hours to think of a way out… He couldn’t back off but he could destroy the younger brother’s plans. The last money would already be in his account by the time the video would take place. He wouldn’t lose anything; his part of the deal would be fulfilled, so Ohno Hideshi couldn’t touch Jun. His life wouldn’t be in danger anymore and he would be in position to pay the last part of the debt while working as a host the most for a year longer. He could do that… he had passed through way harsher hardships than this. He only needed to be careful but he was determined to succeed and not to be a coward.

He looked at the evidence he was asked to gather. It was a small usb key that had all the photos and videos that had recorded in Satoshi’s apartment. He couldn’t destroy it because the other had detailed knowledge of the times he spent with his lover; even the small dates for lunch. There would always be someone sitting three tables away with perfect view to theirs.

He quickly took it in his hands and threw it in the inner pocket of his jacket. He wouldn’t let Hideshi hurt Satoshi like this… He was risking to lose him by being exposed as his younger brother’s accomplice -not that the other wouldn’t do anything to make him pay or at least, not get satisfaction when he wouldn’t- but Satoshi’s public image would remain clear. It was his way to ask for forgiveness… even if he knew he didn’t deserve it. He put the jacket on and made sure his hair was fixed. He was ready.

For you… my love…

***

Nino got out of the taxi and looked up at the large building, feeling his nerves turning a mess with every step closer. He had arrived two hours before the appointed time for the gala, as instructed. He didn’t need to say anything to the guard at the entrance who immediately told him to go by the side entrance. Nino nodded with a smirk. Every asshole must have underlings who have enough physical power and not enough mind… he thought as the said guard pushed the large black door, that was obviously held for cases of emergency, opened.

“8^th floor. First door at your right next to the elevator.”

Nino raised his eyebrow. It seemed that Satoshi’s brother had already informed everyone he needed that he was about to take things into his hands. A small smirk appeared on Nino’s face as he pushed number 8 once he was inside the luxurious elevator. The moment Nino made the first step to his right, once he stepped out of the elevator, he heard loud laughs.

Nino’s eyes narrowed. He’s already partying… “We’ll see at the end who laughs better!” the words came out behind closed teeth. He wanted to open the door and tell him to go to hell but he couldn’t… not yet…

He was standing in front of the door of Ohno Hideshi’s office for several seconds before he found the power to knock.

“Enter!”

He opened slowly, surprised to find out that the other was not alone. There was another man, older… whose smirk immediately told him of his quality.

“This is my hidden ace I had told you about, Arimura-san. Isn’t he good?”

Arimura, who was already staring at Nino, moved his eyes from head to toe. Nino felt his stomach clenching with disgust. He knew this look… he could feel the older man undressing him with his gaze.

If we were at the club right, I’d make sure you paid thousands on drinks and then, you’d be sent back home the exact same way you came… asshole…

“Pretty cute, I’d say! No wonder this stupid brother of yours fell for him… I can only imagine how it is to have him on fours squirming and jolting…”

Ohno Hideshi was looking straight into Nino when he burst into loud laughs. “That… you can arrange it with him another time but I should warn you; he’s quite expensive!”

“There’s no whore that I can’t afford!” the other said immediately, still amused.

“He’s a luxury whore with the label of a host… And since he managed to make my brother, who I was sure he didn’t have a cock between his legs, fall head over heels for him then I can imagine that he’s talented in many more ways than you imagine…”

Nino had lowered his head but dared to say nothing. He couldn’t… he wouldn’t make Ohno Hideshi’s favor not to get paid.

“I may visit his host club then… for a sample…” Arimura laughed before he finished the scotch he had in front of him and turned his attention back to Ohno Hideshi. “Tomorrow morning, as we said.”

The other smiled. “Of course, I’m not only a man of vision, Arimura-san. I’m also a man of my word. Tomorrow.”

Arimura stood up and walked towards the exit, taking another, thorough look at Nino, who remained at the same spot, looking expressionless at the wall across the room.

“Bye, cutie… Can’t wait to drink from your little hands!” Arimura whispered in Nino’s ear, followed by a small chuckle. He wanted to send him to hell but said nothing, waiting patiently the door behind him to close.

Once the wanted sound was heard, Ohno Hideshi stood up from his office and came to stand in front of him, staring with narrowed eyes. “Give it to me.”

Nino did as he was asked, feeling the nervousness coming back to him. Now, his mind wasn’t at the disgusting Arimura but to the man he loved… his man… Satoshi. He heard voices, as Ohno Hideshi opened the files one after the other. It was his and Satoshi’s.

“This is exactly what I expected!”

Nino could hear Satoshi telling him how much he loved him in the same time with the mocking laugh of his younger brother. He felt like throwing up. It was times like this that he felt a complete zero…

Luckily, Satoshi’s brother stopped before Nino ran away. “Do they disturb you?”

“What?”

“You had asked me to stop… Was my dearest brother’s words and actions so convincing? Because there’s no way that idiot can be a passionate lover!” Satoshi’s younger brother said with a combination of disgust and mockery. “You fell in love with him…”

“No.” Nino replied, trying to sound as cold as possible. He wished he could shout at that jerk how much in love he was with his older brother but that wasn’t the time. The other had suspected enough. Nino couldn’t allow more. “The reason why I wanted to stop lies elsewhere. I admit that with the time I didn’t feel extremely happy with tricking your brother like this but it was more because I felt sorry for him, rather than having any deeper feelings. I had and have a purpose… That was the reason why I agreed to this in the first place. It’s just… quite disturbing having to listen to it myself…”

Ohno Hideshi was staring at Nino with a raised eyebrow but didn’t continue the conversation. He made a call, his eyes never leaving the host. “Ohno here. 500 thousand yen, like I told you.”

Nino felt his heart thumbing against his ribs. The money was dealt.

“As you can tell, I already gave order to my personal bank accountant. Tomorrow morning, you’ll have the money.”

Nino gulped. “So, our deal is off as of now, correctly?”

The older man smirked. “I don’t like you either. I won’t keep you any longer… You have a last show to give, though, remember?”

Nino took a deep breath to normalize his heavy breathing. “Of… course…” he muttered with trembling voice.

Ohno Hideshi smiled. “It was pleasure to do business with you, Matsumoto Kazunari-san.”

“Me, too.” Nino replied with difficulty. The other shouldn’t realize anything. “With your permission, Ohno-san.” He had to leave from there... quickly. He needed fresh air before the gala took place.

He turned around but his body froze at his spot. His eyes must play with his senses and mind. There’s no way he was there… him of all people… not when he was with Ohno Hideshi… not now…

“Aren’t you happy to see me, Kazu? Or… should I call you Matsumoto Kazunari-san?!”

TO BE CONTINUED…

A.N. Sooo minna after a looooong time, here’s the new chapter from Nino’s POV! I’m so so so sorry but with the thesis, the temperature that was stuck at 40 degrees for more than 10 days and some other small things, I didn’t have the time to work on the fic and didn’t want to post a chapter I didn’t like… ><” The length, though is almost 9.200 words – so, at least, that could count for double! *bows apologetically*
This time, I made a flashback on Nino’s life and how everything started – we still don’t know why he needed the money and what happened in Singapore, but I promise you in the two upcoming chapters you’ll find everything out! ;) We also had a Matsumiya scene - it will play an important role later for Ohmiya, you’ll see! ^^ Ohmiya’s relationship was tensed in the latest two chapters. I believe it was expected because no matter how much Satoshi can distinguish Nino’s love for him, he’s still a human… ><
Next chapter will be edited tomorrow, so hopefully, Ohno’s POV will be posted this Sunday!  

*I promise to reply to your comments tomorrow morning!! ^^

I really hope you enjoyed it and as always, your comments are <333!!!

 

See you soon,
Andy <3