Author: Andy-chan (antimiya88 )

 

Part 7

“What… what the hell are you doing, here?!” Hideshi jumped up from his seat, shock written all over his face.

Τhe man at the door, though, didn’t even turn his gaze towards him. His eyes were locked on Nino. He could see how the latter had frozen at his spot… lost… as if words couldn’t get formed into his mouth. It wasn’t only that he had lost his composure… He had seen that in the past… the vulnerability… the loss of the smile that could make anyone’s heart melt. This time there was one difference… the masks had fallen… His, as well.

He sighed, closing his eyes to not let the other see the tears that were threatening fall on his face. He wouldn’t do him this favor… moreover when Hideshi was also present. A sad smirk appeared on his face. For once in his life, he had managed to show to him that he could also play and win but he couldn’t even take this satisfaction completely… Hideshi could wait. What mattered at the moment was him.

“Won’t you say anything?” he asked trying to sound as cold as possible. “I think I made a question…”

“Don’t ignore me!” Hideshi hissed back. He had already made a few steps forward till he was standing right in front of the other.

“I’d suggest you, dear brother, to shut the fuck up and listen to what I have to say to you carefully since you’re this impatient!” Satoshi replied angrily.

It was more than obvious that Hideshi was fuming but in the end, he chose to remain silent. He could tell that things weren’t by his side this time.

Satoshi smirked. “I’m happy that for once, we can understand each other. So… I have a small announcement to make to you, brother. Unfortunately for you, I’m displeased to announce that your big plans for this evening are all canceled. All the photos, videos, all the evidence so expertly, this…” he took a breath before continuing not wanting his voice to sound trembling “…host… you hired for me, gathered are confiscated. Oh! I’d almost forget about it. And the deals you have been running up with all these underground organizations and friends of yours will be send for research to the police…” Satoshi could see Hideshi’s face turning white at the hearing of his last words. “…unless, you’re a good boy and accept my terms of working in the company.”

“What the-?”

Satoshi raised his eyebrow. “If you did this a few months ago, I might have said a big thank you… you know for letting me free. But I’ve come to realize something. No matter how much I may dislike you, the family and everything that represents the power that comes along with the name ‘Ohno’, there are also families depending on us. I owe it to them to make the difference and change. Much to your disappointment, brother, I’m here to announce you that all these years you spent pampering mummy will go in vain. I made her realize which side she should take.”

“What?!” Hideshi asked not wanting to believe in his ears. “She would never-”

“Of course, she would… She might be despicable but that doesn’t mean she’s stupid too… She wouldn’t like grandpa to find out how protective her bodyguard is over her… I would never misjudge the whole thing but grandpa? He’s nothing but an old geezer, don’t you agree?”

“You… Who the hell are you?!”

Satoshi smirked. “It seems you thought I was an idiot myself… Dear brother… haven’t they told you? Silence means observance and observance means decoding secrets… secrets that in the end name you winner of the game others think wrongfully as theirs.” He came closer to his brother and looked at him with narrowed eyes. “You deserve my thankfulness because a part of the reason I decided to speak up is you… It’s because you decided to take me into the host club. Was it the fact that I had the chance to fuck someone in years? Maybe… maybe not… What’s sure is that it helped me discovering sides of me I never believed I had… strength that remained hidden in me. In the past, I would just shut up but I can’t anymore… and I won’t.”

“You, son of a-” Hideshi was about to punch Satoshi but the latter managed to grab his hand before it landed on his face.

“I am a son of a bitch…” Satoshi cut his younger brother off. “As a matter of fact, I was born in a shitty family, full of assholes, like you, or bitches like the woman who gave birth to me” his voice was cold “but I’m not in the mood for small talk. I will repeat it once again. If you don’t want to end up in jail, be a good boy and do as I say. Am. I. Understood?”

Instead of replying, Hideshi stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him. Satoshi muffled a laugh. “Of course, you’d run away… You always do that when the situation isn’t advantageous to you…”

A long sigh escaped from the back of his throat. He closed his eyes trying to put his thoughts in order. No matter how confident he may have sounded, deep inside he knew he wasn’t. Even if he meant everything he had told the other, these weren’t words familiar to him. He never was a friend of fights, yelling, insults. This type of language was foreign to him… but he couldn’t control himself. Anger was more than he could possibly handle because this time, he felt betrayed… deeply hurt. He couldn’t simply stand at the corner and see it coming… He had to react. He had to show them that they wouldn’t win this time… that he was stronger than they thought. 

Several minutes had passed by and the room was still covered by an intense silence. Satoshi lowered his head and bit his lower lip with force. It hurt but not more than the sting in his heart did. He had to keep his composure. Dealing with Hideshi was probably the easy part. Now, it was him. The true reason behind this strong version of him… the man that had given a reason in his life… the man who had taken his heart and cut it into pieces… Kazu…

“You won’t say anything?” he asked in a surprisingly tiny voice.

A gasp was heard but nothing else. Of course… Satoshi thought and sighed.  He slowly turned around till his eyes fell on the host who was paler than ever. He was awkwardly standing at the same spot, as if he was frozen. Seeing him like this, all Satoshi wanted to do is run to him, take him into his arms, ask him if everything was alright, whisper comforting words into his ear, hold him tightly close to him… but he couldn’t; not when he knew the real reason behind all this. He realized that even if he did ask what was wrong, it would offer no comfort to the younger man. Most probably, he was feeling like this because his scheme was discovered. He may be afraid he’d lose the money his brother had just given to him for his… services.

He was left staring at the younger man in front of him. He looked so fragile, yet so beautiful… again. Satoshi had to try… he had to stay strong and not declare his defeat this openly. Hideshi may have not won but Nino certainly had. He had from the very beginning… There was no point in lying to himself. The fact that his heart was insisting on beating crazily in his chest while his mind was desperately trying to think logically and coldly was the unshakeable proof.

He could see the man he loved being there in front of him, almost trembling. He could see the way his eyes were afraid to look straight into his… throwing only fast glances. You can’t even look me in the eye… you’re afraid… His hands clenched into fists. He was angry… mostly with himself because a part of him still wanted to take the other into his arms and whisper to his ear that everything was alright… hold him close to him, till he was sure that the other was alright. It was hurting him seeing Nino like this… it did more than he could ever imagine it would.

When he had asked Nino to come to the gala it was to test him. He wished the other turned his offer down and prove to him that everything he had find out was fake… but he hadn’t. He had told him yes. The last time, Nino had spent the night in his apartment he couldn’t sleep. He had left staring at the host who was sleeping by his side. Perhaps, Nino couldn’t do otherwise… Perhaps, he had something else on his mind… something that would give Satoshi hope… He needed to believe that all of this hadn’t been a well-instrumented performance, executed perfectly to the tiniest detail. He needed to believe that all these past months of happiness were real or at least, meant… something.

When he heard his moments with him recorded, accompanied with his brother’s ironic laugh, though, he realized it wasn’t but a lie. Then, he heard Kazu… No. Not Kazu. Matsumoto Kazunari his lips curving into a bitter smile, as he thought of it again. He was talking about… business. Everything was nothing more than business to him… He had repeated the things he had found out in that cursed envelope. He had felt as if he was covered by slimy mud.

He looked at the host again. There was nothing that reminded him of the man he knew… Probably because I never had the chance to actually know him… since… he never existed…

“You insist on remaining silent…” Satoshi whispered more to himself than the other. Somehow, this made him more vulnerable. He wished the other would say something; admit; tell him the truth in his face, like he had heard him saying moments ago to his brother.

He looked closer at the younger man who stayed at the very same position with his head lowered. “I admit that’s something new to me. I mean… you always knew what to say… Even when you didn’t actually open your mouth… you could still speak… Now, you even avoid my gaze. Is it your way to play the card of the victim? Because I guess shame doesn’t exist in your vocabulary.”

The host let out something that sounded like something between a muffled sob and whine.

Satoshi closed his eyes. He had to remain strong and not fall… again. He had the records… he had heard him live… He knew… He walked with slow, yet steady pace till he was standing right in front of the other and grabbed his chin, making their gazes meet. “What? You only work with scenario? Improvisation isn’t among your skills? You’re disappointing me, Matsumoto-san.”

He saw the younger man gasp, both surprised and hurt. Satoshi hated himself for saying such words. A part of him was doing it because he had to try… one last time… to provoke. Perhaps, if he pushed him like this, he might say something… anything… Several seconds passed by. Satoshi kept staring at him before he finally sighed. No sound reached his ears. There was only Nino’s hot breath falling on his lips.  So, you still have nothing to say… I guess you wouldn’t…

“I guess it’s not…” he whispered before biting his lower lip. He took his hand away and turned around so that Nino could only see his back. “Somehow, I’m sorry to have messed up with your performance right before your grand finale…” he let out a small laugh. “But you don’t have to worry about the money my brother gave to you. I promise you won’t lose a penny. You spent all that time with me, gave me your body, pretended to be in love with someone as boring as me… I must admit you did a splendid job, regardless of the result. You should really think to pursue an acting career… you’re a natural, Matsumoto-san. Good bye.”

He couldn’t stand another minute in the same room with him. He hurriedly left Hideshi’s office walking fast towards his. He needed to think; cry; yell… he needed time alone. He was about to close the door behind him when he felt resistance. He turned around and found Nino blocking the door with his foot.  

“I don’t want to see you anymore, in case you haven’t realized it, Matsumoto-san.”

“I need to talk to you.” Nino said rather breathless.

Satoshi closed his eyes. What had he done to deserve this torture? It was enough the hurt he felt inside. He didn’t need to make it worse by having the very person that caused all this pain right in front of him. “I thought I was clear, Matsumoto-san. You have nothing to worry about. You’ll keep your money. You may go.” He said as coldly as possible. He just needed the other to understand him and leave… leave before he broke down.

“Satoshi… please…” Satoshi looked at the young host. There was a tremor in his voice.

Satoshi… How much had he loved hearing his name coming out from these lips… unlike, now, that it only caused pain. There were tears running down Nino’s cheeks, his eyes red.

Satoshi had it enough. He grabbed Nino by his nape and pushed him backwards on the door, till his back hit the metal. “You have your money. Your deal is over. Why the hell do you follow me? Why the hell do you call me by my name? What do you want from me?”

Nino had winced when his back landed with force on the door but said nothing about it. His hands immediately found Satoshi’s arms, holding them tightly. “We need to talk… please…I really need to talk to you!” he pleaded again, his voice sounding more desperate this time.

Satoshi felt all the frustration that had kept building up inside him “Do you find it so amusing seeing me like this? Do you want to hear it from my lips that you’ve won? That no matter how much you’ve hurt me, I still love you? That I still wish this is just a nightmare? That I wished I had heard from your lips something that would make me believe that there’s hope for my feelings? That it wasn’t a bad joke? A lie? Is that it? Do you want to throw it on my face? Does that make you feel satisfied? Knowing you’ve won?!”

Nino’s right hand came to touch feather-like Satoshi’s cheek.

Satoshi gasped at the touch. It made him tremble. Why should he be this weak when it came to this man? His eyes were locked on Nino’s that were looking straight back at his. Unconsciously, he leaned closer till their lips were almost touching… He could feel the younger one opening his mouth invitingly to him. He wanted to resist, he tried to but it was too much. Without warning, he crushed their lips together. He was engulfed by warmth… by the familiar warmth that made him feel so alive. His whole body was reacting, pressing it more firmly against the other. He could feel Nino’s fingers being lost in his hair but it was when a muffled, due to the kiss, moan escaped from the back of his throat that brought him back to reality. What was he doing?

With one abrupt move, he pulled himself away. “I can’t…”

“Why?” the host asked, desperation being reflected in his voice, while his hands were clutching on Satoshi’s jacket. “You had-”

“You also had, Matsumoto-san.” Satoshi cut him off.

“But… Satoshi, you don’t understand…” Nino whispered.

“I don’t understand what? That it was nothing but business to you?”

“Please, I-”

“Please, what? This was your last chance, Nino. A small test, if you want, and you failed. I won’t lie… A small part of me was hoping till the very end, till the moment I stood behind the door of Hideshi’s office, to be proved wrong, but you were pretty clear. I meant it when I said that you should have been an actor. You managed to make me believe that you actually liked listening to me speaking… that you felt complete when he made love” a chuckle left Satoshi’s mouth. “No. Here, I guess the right word for it is ‘fuck’… In general that you cared for me…”

“I never li-”

“Lied?” Satoshi said, chuckling.

“No, I didn’t. When I said I love you, I meant it.”

 “So, you insist…” Satoshi cut him off. He stared at him without saying anything for a few seconds before turning around and heading towards his desk.

“Aren’t I too predictable for you?” Satoshi saw the way Nino’s eyes bulged at this. “Why do I think that you’ve lied to me and you keep lying, right now?”

“What… are you talking about, Satoshi?” Nino’s voice cracked unlike before.

Satoshi was positive the other knew what he was talking about.

“You want to tell me you haven’t understood… Very well!” He opened the first drawer at his right and threw the envelope, he was given weeks ago, to Nino who in the meantime was standing in front of his desk. It fell on the floor. Nino kept staring at it and at the CEO.

“Open it.”

Satoshi saw him kneeling down and opening it with trembling hands. There was a gasp of surprise that left his lips as he quickly scanned the papers he was holding. A tiny part of Satoshi was hoping the other would say something… anything… but no word came out of the younger man’s mouth for several minutes.

It was when he saw the photos that he turned his still surprised gaze to Satoshi. “How… how did you find these…? Why?”

Satoshi smiled bitterly at Nino’s question. There was no attempt of explanation… How could there be? The photos and the mails left no margin for misconceptions.

“This isn’t something that should be of your concern. I just did. I promise you, though, that everything will stay safe with me.”

“Of… course…” the word was barely heard but even like this, showed clearly how things were.

“So, is there something that I may have misunderstood?”

Nino only lowered his head. His whole body was trembling but remained silent.

“I’m happy that we finally understand each other, Matsumoto-san.” Satoshi managed to say in a cold and steady tone. He stood up from his chair and stood in front of the other who, for the first time, looked completely defeated. Satoshi wanted to grab him by his shoulders and demand an explanation that would make him forgive him; he wanted the other to tell him that everything was just a bad joke… a nightmare from which he’d wake up… In the same time, he wanted to slap him with all his might… but he couldn’t… He was the fool one… He was the one to blame for the blindness; not the other. Nino was only doing his… job. He cleared his throat as he took a hold of the doorknob to open the door. There was nothing left to say.

“I think it’s time for you to leave. I’m sure he will be waiting for you.”

There was a muffled sob that reached his ears but didn’t let upset him more.

“It was nice meeting you, Matsumoto-san.” Nino had to leave immediately.

After a few seconds, he saw the host placing the papers and photos on the desk before turning around and leaving the room with heavy steps without throwing him a single glance. Satoshi was feeling his heart ready to stop. The sound of Nino’s steps was fading away. It was only when he could hear nothing that he closed the door. He could finally give in to the sorrow, the defeat. He had no reason to pretend. His knees couldn’t hold him anymore. He fell on the floor, letting his tears flood freely on his face.

“Good bye…, Kazu…”

***

Satoshi didn’t know how he managed to remain the whole night calm in front of the guests. There were investors and important clients discussing with him future projects but his mind couldn’t grasp anything. Luckily, he had his advisors that were able to cover for him. All he could think about was the way Nino had left the evidence back on his desk and left without a single word.

Hideshi was nowhere to be seen. Satoshi was sure the other had received the message, metaphorically and literally. It was 11 o’clock when Sho’s friend informed him that everything was done the way he had asked for.

He looked at his glass of champagne before scanning the crowd. So many were around him but he felt lonely… as if they were part of a scenery of which he was nothing more than a simple observant.

He could close his eyes and see himself, smiling… holding carefully by the waist the man he loved the most… introducing him to his family… enjoying the shock in their eyes… Whispering reassuring things into his ear, how lovely he looked, how much he loved him and how important it was for him that he was there… All that of course, if the man he loved, loved him back and if he wasn’t playing a role under Hideshi’s wishes. Under these circumstances, he wished nothing more than knowing that his Kazu was waiting for him in his apartment… with that warm smile on his face the moment he’d open the door… telling him how much he loved him and how much he wished he was at the gala with him, if it wasn’t for his brother… That also hadn’t happened…

Tonight, though, there was no one waiting for him back at his apartment and there was no one to be proud of there with him. Once again, he was lonely. Satoshi took another sip of his champagne. His lips curved into a sad smile. Loneliness… It was weird to feel it again, after all these months. It had always been the one emotion that had been part of his everyday life since forever, yet now, it felt strange… he had forgotten how it is to feel lonely… and that made it only worse…

Using his headache as a pretext, he slipped out of the crowd, heading out of the building. The night breeze hit his face but he didn’t feel any better. Without giving it more thought, he took his phone and after having informed the managers, he headed to the garage where he found his driver waiting for him by the limo.

The latter rushed to open the door for the CEO who entered without saying anything. He also entered but even then, Satoshi said nothing.

“Sir, are you visiting the usual club tonight or you’re preferring to go back to your apartment?”

Satoshi looked blankly at the driver who was staring back at him through the rearview mirror.

“Sir, where would you like to go? The club or-”

“The apartment. Back to the apartment. And fast.” Satoshi cut his driver off.

His heart raised dangerously in his heart. Most probably, the host was picking up the next victim in the line. He had nothing to do with him. He just needed to go back to his apartment. This night should come to its end.

Once he unlocked the door, he opened the lights and threw his jacket on the floor, without caring where it would land. The corner of his eye fell on the small note next to the small table close to the entrance.

Remember that I love you,

my Satoshi  

“Remember that I love you…” Satoshi mumbled under his breath. “Rest assured… my Kazu…” a muffled sob escaped from his throat as he crumpled up the paper and threw it on the floor.

He went to the kitchen and took a beer can from the fridge. He didn’t care to take a bath or change his clothes, going straight to the living room. He wasn’t feeling hungry either… he just needed to do it. He took everything out of the envelope, he had brought with him, with trembling hands. It reminded him of the younger host. He was also trembling… but for so different reasons… he thought sadly. His eyesight turned a bit blurry as the first couple of papers were placed on the sofa next to him. He had never dared to see them again after that night… still wanting to believe that it wouldn’t be like this… but now, he needed to; he had to be reminded, so that he could lessen the pain… and finally, forget.

He looked at the one on top.

Vacation

From: hina.matsuhita@ssmail.com

To: ninokazu@gmail.com

(Sent: 2017 March 23. 00:34)

My naughty puppy

When will you come and visit me? I’ll start getting jealous of that client of yours. You know I don’t care when you sleep with those old rich bastards but with him it’s different. I may start thinking that you may truly like him. Please, find a way to leave him for a couple of days… Say that you want to think things over or use your brother as an excuse – his exams – isn’t now the period for them? I don’t know. Just say something and come to me. Come and I promise to make you scream louder than you did during our last time!

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Re: Vacation

From: ninokazu@gmail.com

To: hina.matsuhita@ssmail.com

(Sent: 2017 March 23. 03:44)

Babe

I don’t know, if I can. You know how persistent he is. What do you want me to do? He will understand… and we don’t want that, do we? That’s how I get the money. I know what I’m doing. I promise you, we’ll see each other very soon!

Your (always ready to please you) puppy

Satoshi tore the paper into tens of tiny pieces. The next one wasn’t any better… Satoshi was reading, more tears in his eyes.

Last Night

From: ninokazu@gmail.com

To: hina.matsuhita@ssmail.com

(Sent: 2017 May 15. 23:58)

Attached item(s): (x) 267.png (x) 268.png (x) 269.png

Like I promised.

Your marks are still so hot on me.

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Re: Last Night

From: hina.matsuhita@ssmail.com

To: ninokazu@gmail.com

(Sent: 2017 May 16. 00:03)

Puppy

I want them to be like that. I want you to remember who you belong to when the stupid clients of yours touch you.

*p.s. Your photos, like always, are a piece of art.

Did you have his marks covered when you were with me? It was him the one you kept thinking of while sleeping with me? It was him you were picturing behind your closed eyes, Nino?

It hurt so much realizing that all this time, Nino wasn’t only working at the club... he was also someone’s… puppy… He read more e-mails… more texts… It was obvious that this Hina was a part of his life a lot before he ever appeared. Nino was thinking of him as nothing more than a mere client… a fuck that gave him money.

It was the next paper, though, that broke the CEO’s heart completely into thousands of small pieces.

#17

From: hina.matsuhita@ssmail.com

To: ninokazu@gmail.com

(Sent: 2017 May 30. 22:46)

You’ve been a very bad puppy, Nino, and I’m sure you know yourself -very well- what this means. Once you’re done with that loser CEO of yours, I’ll be expecting you at our place.

Don’t be late.

----------------------------------------------------

Re: #17

From: ninokazu@gmail.com

To: hina.matsuhita@ssmail.com

(Sent: 2017 May 30. 22:47)

It never takes much time to exhaust him. I’ll do it fast and then, escape finding an excuse.

Your puppy knows how to make it up to you.

-----------------------------------------------------

Re: Re: #17

From: hina.matsuhita@ssmail.com

To: ninokazu@gmail.com

(Sent: 2017 May 30. 22:49)

Oh puppy… I know you do… You’re well-trained but sometimes, a bit independent. I have to remind you some things. We have all night for that. I promise you once the sun is up, your memory will be fully recovered.

--------------------------------------------------------

Re: Re: Re: #17

From: ninokazu@gmail.com

To: hina.matsuhita@ssmail.com

(Sent: 2017 May 30. 22:50)

Can’t wait, babe!

He’s too boring and… predictable… No one can match you.

You make my body craving for more… hungry…

Just thinking of it makes me feel hot…

---------------------------------------------------

Re: Re: Re: Re: #17

From: hina.matsuhita@ssmail.com

To: ninokazu@gmail.com

(Sent: 2017 May 30. 22: 51)

I know what you’re doing puppy…

----------------------------------------------------

Re: Re: Re: Re: #17

From: hina.matsuhita@ssmail.com

To: ninokazu@gmail.com

(Sent: 2017 May 30. 22: 54)

Why should I be so weak when it comes to you and your little games?

This round is yours but do not even let it cross your mind that this night will be easy for you.

Be prepared to beg… a lot…

Now, open LINE and get ready. Video call in exactly 5 minutes.

Satoshi couldn’t read anymore. It was obvious what and whom the other desired… “I guess I was too predictable for your taste…” he mumbled under his breath.

Despite knowing that it would break him, he took some of the photos into his hands. There were photos of Nino sitting on the lap of a man in some underground bar. It’s him? The one who calls you puppy? That man was around his age and tall. Satoshi could tell that. He could also see the muscles of the arms that were wrapped around Nino’s waist, even if the photo was taken from afar. The second one was portraying the couple kissing almost too provocatively in public. Nino had thrown himself all over the other. It gave the impression of going at it over their clothes. The third one was showing Nino between two men; the one from the previous ones and someone Satoshi was seeing for the first time. Nino had a smirk on his face, not having a problem about the two pairs of hands touching him intimately.

Satoshi couldn’t stand it anymore. He grabbed everything and threw it in his dustbin. This man on the photos was nothing like the man he had got to know and fall for; probably, because he had never existed in the first place. The man in the photos was someone else… someone who was matching perfectly with the descriptions of the Matsumoto Kazunari who loved spending the money of his family without giving a shit… the Matsumoto Kazunari who liked to have fun without commitments.

He finished the beer and headed to the shower. He needed to calm down. He let the hot water fall on his naked body, closing his eyes. “I know you’re a good person because I love you… I wouldn’t have loved you if you weren’t…” His words came to his mind.

“Naïve… Stupid and naïve… that’s what you are, Ohno Satoshi…”

Mechanically, he finished his shower and without eating anything, he climbed on his bed. His eyes fell on the photo of him and Nino on his bedside table. He remembered the way Nino was looking at it, his heart clenching. It felt so empty without him… He felt so empty… He held it, his fingers moving on Nino’s face.

Despite the shock, when he was first shown the emails and photos, Satoshi had decided after hours and hours of thinking and debating with himself to give Nino one last chance… He had been watching his sleeping figure… Someone that looked so innocent couldn’t play with him like this, could he? He had to believe… he had to try and chase down his happiness. He had almost believed him… once again, one leg of his had fallen in the host’s trap. Only that now, everything was clear. Nino had never loved him… For the host, all this time they had passed together was nothing more than business… everything was just a pretense.

The investigator had told him he had to be careful to proceed but now, Satoshi realized that there was no reason for him to search deeper for information. It was obvious that there was already someone important in Nino’s life.

He hadn’t denied it… He had accepted everything by keeping his head lowered and by remaining silent as he left from his office, a few hours earlier. With a heavy shy, he put the photo turned upside down back on the small table and lied down closing his eyes tightly. This time he had no one to hug and keep close… He was alone… again…

***

“Stop it! You’ve already drunk enough!”

Satoshi looked frowned at his friend who was holding his wrist forbidding that way the glass to reach his lips.

“I haven’t! I still ache… here…” he pointed at his heart. “It aches… too much…”

“Getting drunk doesn’t solve anything, Satoshi!”

“It makes me forget…” the CEO mumbled and tried once again to finish his sixth drink.

“You should stop… It’s been two weeks now and you continue on drinking every single night. It doesn’t lead anywhere…”

“Why sh- should… I… have met him?” Satoshi asked between sobs and hiccups. “Tell me, Sho? Why should… I have… fallen in love with him? Why?”

The other man looked at his friend sighing. It was painful to see him being like this. He wished he could do something to help him but at his state, he accepted nothing. He didn’t listen to anyone. He was lost in his thoughts when he saw Satoshi jumping up from his seat after hitting the table with both his fists.

“Satoshi?” Sho asked with a frown but the CEO was already heading towards the exit. Sho paid hurriedly for the drinks and ran after his drunk friend just to see him enter a taxi. “I think I should have a serious talk with this host of yours…”

~.~.~

“Ohno-san! What a surprise!” Satoshi made his way into the club without tripping on his feet. “I’ll call him immediate-”

“NO!” Satoshi yelled at the top of his lungs attracting everyone’s attention. It was then that their eyes met. “I want the number one, tonight. I’m willing to pay… a lot…”

The manager looked at Nino surprised but quickly found his professional smile back. “Of course.”

Satoshi let the other lead him to the table, his eyes locked on Nino’s. They looked at him with both surprise and hurt. How does it feel to be rejected, Mr. Nino?

An hour had passed by and the CEO had already ordered two bottles of champagne. He didn’t push the host away; not even when his lips found the crook of his neck. The touch was feather-like and in his drunkenness, not unwelcomed. He found himself relaxing as his mind stopped working. Finally, the alcohol was doing its magic.

“I never thought I’d get to have your company, Ohno-sama…” the host whispered close to his ear as his hand was dangerously close to Satoshi’s crotch.

“Ohno-sama?! That’s a first… You’re full of surprises, Hiro!” Satoshi replied between his giggles and hiccups.

“And you still haven’t discovered anything, Ohno-sama…!” the host said seductively, letting then tip of his tongue tease the CEO’s earlobe.

Satoshi leaned to grab his glass when he realized that Nino was staring at him from the opposite table. His mouth got dry, suddenly feeling ashamed. There was something unreadable behind that intense gaze of the younger host; something that made his heart clench painfully.

“Ohno-sama?” Hiro’s voice made him turn on his right.

“Can you come with me?”

“What?”

“Right now… I’ll pay well!”

The host’s face immediately lit up. “It’s my honor, Ohno-sama…” he leaned closer to Satoshi’s ear “…and I’m pretty sure, it will be my pleasure, as well…”

Satoshi said nothing in reply. His eyes were still fixed on Nino’s ones. He couldn’t be there any longer. He stood up only to fall back on the sofa.

“Let me help you, Ohno-sama!” the host held him by the armpits, securing him close to his body. He was much taller, making it easy for him to move around.

In less than twenty minutes, Satoshi was opening the door of his apartment. Without losing a minute, he took the host’s hand and let him to his bedroom. His eyes fell on the still turned upside-down photo. He needed to forget.

He turned around, surprised to find the host already half-naked.

“Could you take a shower?” he asked without thinking.

The host looked at him confused at first but quickly smirked. “As you wish, Ohno-sama…”

Satoshi’s heart was clenching and unclenching. The cold breeze had somehow sobered him up a bit. What was he doing? He could hear the water falling when his phone vibrated.

From: unknown number

I know that you hate me and want me

to pay and I accept that but don’t

do this to yourself.

This is not you...

His hands were trembling as he read the text again and again. He threw his phone on the floor with force, not caring if he had broken it or not.

Why should the other know him this well? Why should he be right? Why should he keep playing with his mind?

“Ohno-sama?”

Satoshi turned towards the door where he saw a complete naked host, smirking suggestively. No… he couldn’t do it.

He cleared his throat as he took his jacket in hand, searching for his wallet. He took 200 thousand yen and gave them to the host who was looking at him perplexed. “I believe this should be enough.”

“I’m afraid, I don’t… understand…?!”

“Please, take this and get dressed. Sorry for having brought you here.”

The host looked at him with raised eyebrow. “You truly love him…”

“I… I really don’t want to talk about it.”

The host ticked his tongue against his teeth as he took the money offered to him. In a couple of minutes, he was already dressed.

“Look… I don’t know what has happened between you two and I don’t care to find out either but I have to say something.” Satoshi looked at the other rather confused. “The only time Nino looked… happy… was when he was with you… Good night, Ohno-san.”

Satoshi heard the door closing but couldn’t move from his spot. He buried his face in his palms, feeling frustration filling him up once again. He needed air. He opened his window and got out on the balcony. The night was surprisingly calm, unlike his heartbeat. He could feel his pulse going crazy. Why would the other tell him something like that? Nino had this Hina… his babe… right?

“DAMN IT!” he cursed out loud, kicking the balusters.

Once again, he was confused. He didn’t count for how much time he stayed there. He entered back in his bedroom and picked up his phone. Surprisingly, it was alright. There were a few missed calls from Sho and another text.

Biting his lower lip, he opened it.

From: unknown number

You were never predictable.

It was you the one I thought of when

he touched me.

It was you that made me feel alive…

It was your touch that I craved for…

It was you… always…

“Why…? Why…?”

Satoshi started pressing buttons without thinking clearly. The number was still in his phone memory. He couldn’t delete it, no matter how many times he had tried to.

To: Kazu

Why?

The reply came immediately.

From: Kazu

Because I love you… even if you

don’t believe me…

He could hear his heart thumbing against his ribs.

To: Kazu

I’m sorry but

I can’t. I really can’t.

Satoshi turned his phone off, not wanting to receive another text. He had sworn not to meet him ever again but that night, he had gone to his club… Perhaps, Sho was right. He shouldn’t drink again. It was enough that he had to deal with Hideshi at the company and his deals that could blow everything up in the air, if he wasn’t careful enough.

He lied back on his bed, turning his gaze up to the white ceiling. It really hurt but he couldn’t do it… not again… It was time for him to learn how to move on. He had to… He owed it to himself, even if he still loved the other more than his own life.

TO BE CONTINUED…

A.N. Sooo minna here’s the new chapter from Ohno’s POV! ^^ Now, I’m back to Paris and after having finished with some things needed to be taken care of, I finally found the time to update! This is probably the saddest and most angsty chapter of the whole fic. Ohno is hurt… and Ohmiya seems to be in trouble. But! Despite everything, Ohno still cares for Nino. We’ll see what happens from now on!
We also found out what the envelope had but we still don’t know who this man is and what’s his role in Nino’s life is. What’s certain is that Ohno chose not to search more (like he should have). Luckily, there’s Sho for that! I promise you the pieces will be completed in the next chapter!! You’ll understand everything!

I hope you really enjoyed it and your comments as always are <333!!!

See you soon,
Andy ^^