Toma had just finished his shift in the supermarket he was working and walked quickly back home. He had already quit from the host club and tried to focus on Jun as much as possible. He knew the other needed time. There had been many phases. At first, Jun would remain silent all day long, sitting at the edge of the sofa. Then, he would pass most of his time sleeping. Then, he would get drunk daily.

Toma was thinking of ways to make him forget but it was difficult as he knew that Jun’s father was still free. He was born an orphan so he couldn’t understand completely how devastating it was to learn that your father was such an asshole but he certainly knew that he had to remain strong and help Jun get over it.

“Jun?”he asked as he entered his small apartment but received no answer. He ran to the bedroom just to find Jun sitting on the floor, with his back leaning on the bed and an almost empty bottle of whiskey in his hand. “What the hell are you doing? You had promised me you wouldn’t drink again…” his voice was giving out a sense of desperation.

“And what if I had promised you huh? I didn’t sign a contract… back off!” Jun, even at this state, tried to stop Toma from taking his bottle.

“Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“Why shouldn’t I?! It’s not like someone will miss me…”

Toma slapped his face really hard with tears falling down his cheeks. “You’re a bastard!”

Jun smirked. “Yeah… I’ve been told that again! Don’t worry you don’t hurt my feelings…” he managed to reach the bottle and bring it to the verge of his mouth.

Toma grabbed it forcefully the last minute and threw it at the opposite corner of the room. The floor filled with small pieces of glass and the smell of alcohol. “What would he say?”

Jun looked at him with red eyes.

“Tell me Jun… what the hell would this Aiba say? Do you really think that he would approve of this?”

Jun grabbed Tomas collar and shook him back and forth as he sobbed. “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

“Why?” Toma replied in a surprisingly calm tone. “You don’t like to listen to the truth?! You said that no one cares for you… you’re an asshole… you only focus on you… you never take into consideration others’ emotions… you’re way too cruel and way too selfish…”

Jun looked at him in the eyes. “But it’s true… I will never be loved… I’m destined to be left alone… It’s my luck to -”

Jun didn’t have the chance to finish his words as Toma locked his lips over his. It was only a second but it made him freeze.

“DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?” Toma’s gaze was piercing. “I’m not asking you anything… I never asked you to like me… I’ll never ask you to love me… but you better stop saying bullshit like that! Because your life was a mess till now it doesn’t mean that it has to remain that way… It’s you who can make a difference! I honestly thought that you were a strong, willing person… now I see that I may be wrong… you might want to be trapped in this hell of a past of yours just to feel sorry of yourself. I had enough these past two weeks. Whether you change and move forward or stay where you are. But I want you to know that if you choose the second one I won’t be there…” Toma got up from the floor and moved to the door. “Think about it… Good night…” his voice was getting lower as he said the last words. He had to be harsh… he had to make Jun realize what he was doing to himself; otherwise it would be late… really late.

Jun looked at the now closed door and then at the ruined bottle in front of him. Why? Why do I always have to be in such a mess? Why? Light sobs made their appearance as he curled up there on the floor letting his mind travel in all these events that had recently taken place. It still hurt him so much… I’m all alone… But then in his drunken mind Toma’s kiss replayed making him sob even more. He felt so confused… so lost. He couldn’t stop crying until he gave up and drifted into a restless, dreamless sleep.
***
Jun waked up with a terrible headache. He wasn’t on the floor. He was lying on the bed with his clothes changed. He could feel warmness around his left hand. He turned his head to see Toma sleeping kneeled on the floor right next to him, with his head on the edge of the bed and his hand holding his. His heart clenched. He couldn’t remember clearly what kind of words had he exchanged with Toma last night but he could clearly remember Toma’s last words. He bit his lip guiltily. He knew that he was driving himself consciously to a tunnel with no way out but Toma… looking at him like that he felt guilty. He felt as if he had no right to do this to him.

He sensed the other move and afraid as he was of dealing with him after last night’s incident, he pretended to be asleep.

Toma opened his eyes and tried to stretch a bit his muscles. Having fallen asleep like that had left some numbness on his feet but he showed no intention to leave the spot. His free hand reached for Jun’s hair and caressed it softly. “I want you to smile Jun… I’m determined to make you smile… I love you too much to be able to see you being like that… Stay strong… I know you can… you have to and I promise you I will never leave your side… Swear, hit, insult me but don’t do anything to yourself… please Jun… you have to find your true self that insists on remaining hidden somewhere deep inside you. I want him to know that I’ll wait for him… no matter how late he comes out… I’ll be there…” He stood up and landed a soft, feather like kiss on Jun’s forehead. “Don’t be afraid of being left alone because I’m here…”

Toma left the room making as less noise as possible not wanting to wake Jun up. Jun, on the other hand, as soon as the door closed, he sat up and looked at it with an empty gaze. He couldn’t believe that Toma would help like that… he had never expected to have someone next to him unconditionally. He looked at the hand that it was held by Toma till that moment. Somehow he felt that he owed this person to try. It was easier to let go and go deeper and deeper in the abyss but for some reason Toma’s presence was making it a difficult choice for him; as if he couldn’t do it.

Slowly, he got off the bed and leaning on the wall beside him, he opened the door to see Toma in the kitchen having cooked something that smelled like a delicious omurice.

“Good morning sleepy!”

Jun just nodded and sat at the edge of the small table.

“I’m not sure whether this matches your taste but you have to eat the whole of it. Oh! Drink this as well!” Toma continued as he placed in front of him the plate along with a cup of coffee. Jun drank a bit just to grimace.

“This is bitter!”

Toma laughed as he sat across the table sipping some of his own coffee. “And whose fault is that? Stop complaining and eat. You should take afterwards a pain killer I’m pretty sure your head is a mess…”

Jun lowered his head and ate everything having his gaze fixed on his plate. He didn’t say anything. He could only hear Toma sighing from time to time but his mind was working too fast. He could only think of Toma’s behavior this morning and some flashes of last night. He had to do something… he had to make a decision.

As the pill went down his throat his eye met the cupboard where he hid the alcohol. Without saying a single word he went closer and after having it open, he took all the bottles of whiskey, vodka or whatever alcohol those bottles contained and threw them in the sink.

Toma couldn’t believe his eyes. “J- Jun?” he mumbled with difficulty as his voice was trembling.

Jun said nothing in reply and continued to empty the bottles. Once they were thrown away, he felt two arms wrapping around his waist and a head resting on his back. He could feel soft vibrations, sign the other one was crying.

He smiled softly. “Please stay with me…” he managed to say as he turned and met Toma’s eyes.

Toma caressed his left cheek, smiling. “Don’t worry Jun… I will” his voice was so tender, his tone showed so much care that could only make Jun feel warm inside.

“I need you…”

Toma nodded a bit. “I know it’s going to be difficult Jun but I won’t let you fall… I promise…”

Jun felt unable to hold back his tears that were threatening all this time to come to surface. He fell in Toma’s arms sobbing, letting his emotions free for the first time after the revelations at the warehouse.

Toma rubbed softly his back as he whispered in his ear. “I’ll be here Jun… Don’t be afraid. You’ll never be left alone again… never…”
…………………………………..


“What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing” said Jun stubbornly as he looked outside the window. It was winter and the trees were left in the mercy of the strong wind.

“Now I have believed you!” Toma went closer and grabbed Jun’s shoulder. “Jun… I can tell something is on your mind the last few days. So I suggest you spill it and we can get over the case of repeat!”

Jun sighed and reached the table next to the sofa where he had placed his cigarettes. He lit up one avoiding any eye contact with Jun.

“Is it about the program they mentioned in school this Monday?” Toma said in a low voice.

Jun looked at him with eyes bulged from surprise. “How did you-”

“… know?” Toma laughed. Well let me tell you that you’re not the best actor in the world. You’re always so gloomy and that moment was the first to see you have sparkling eyes. You know… you’re quite like an open book to me Jun. It wasn’t that difficult to understand when I saw you writing down every single possible detail”

Jun looked down. He knew that he wanted to go to London and try something new… in a completely new environment but he couldn’t ask Toma to follow him. It was already 1 year since he had left the previous school and enrolled a specialized for adults one. His father was finally where he supposed to be and Toma was always by his side. It was since months ago that he started looking at Toma; looking really closely to him. There were some feelings that he was trying desperately to push away, he couldn’t be sure… that’s what he kept saying to himself. But he was sure for only one thing: that Toma’s presence around him had become necessary for him. If Toma was next to him he could feel more at ease… he could relax… he could be Jun; a Jun that he was still discovering.

Toma had a great sense of humor and insight. He could sense when and what he should say or what was the best for them to do. Jun knew well that he wasn’t the easiest person to live with yet for some reason Toma had found no difficulties; no negative aspects. Even when he was behaving like an asshole, the other would never raise his tone or complain… he would just leave it pass. It was one of the reasons he was afraid to ask him to leave Japan and follow him across half the universe. He knew positively that Toma was in love with him and that there’s nothing he would deny but still… Jun felt like he had no right to ask him do another thing just for him. It was already too much.

“I guess we should hurry and ask Sakamoto-sensei for the accommodation availabilities. From what I’ve heard London is quite expensive…”

Toma’s words snapped him away from his thoughts.

“Toma…” Jun’s voice was really low.

“I’m not hearing a thing! If I remember right the final date to declare your interest is next week right? Tonight we will find sensei and speak to him” Toma tried to stand up from the sofa when Jun’s hand reached out, grabbing him tightly.

“Toma… I’m not going… We’re fine here. We both work part time at the supermarket. We can make our lives here!”

Toma smiled widely and his eyes tried desperately to find Jun’s. He lowered himself so that he was at the same level with Jun who was still sitting on the sofa. His hand reached reluctantly the other’s cheek.

“Don’t think that you’re forcing me… I would never do something that I didn’t want to in the first place and what I want the most is to be by your side no matter where you are. I want to be with you and see you smile…”

Jun tensed a bit at the hearing of these words but Toma’s hand moved to his shoulder.

“Jun, please look at me” Jun was still having his gaze fixed on the floor. “Look at me!” Jun had no choice but do as he was said.

“I’m not asking you to love me back! I enjoy being your friend… I mean… it means a lot to me that I can be your friend. If I did that with only purpose to force you to be with me differently, from what you want, then that wouldn’t be love, it would be obsession and if whatever I did for you all this time was made under the name of personal profit, then it wouldn’t be called care but exploitation. Do you under-”

Toma didn’t have the chance to finish as he felt two lips lock on his. He froze. It was the last thing he expected Jun to do and though his body was craving for the other’s touch he still couldn’t enjoy it. He managed to break the kiss, which was not a passionate one, but still he could sense some desperation in it. 

“Jun… what was that for?” Jun could understand that Toma was hurt. “The last thing I want to happen to us is awkwardness. You don’t love me like that and I’m fine with it. I don’t want you to force yourself on me out of guilt or out of debt. If you do that then I guess I have totally failed… and I don’t want to lose you… Please… be reasonable!”

Toma stood up quickly and headed to his bedroom but before he could close the door behind him, Jun blocked it with his body.

“I would like to stay alone now Jun please…” Toma’s voice cracked as he said that and Jun could see that his eyes were teary.

“I’m not leaving unless you listen to me!” he spoke those words perhaps louder than he initially intended, making Toma look at him surprised.

“I didn’t do it out of guilt… it was not a moment of weakness… If it was something like that I would have hit on you as soon as you took me in. It wasn’t something it was planned… I… You’ve made me… I think I’m falling for you…” Jun said those words without taking his stare away from Toma’s.

“Whenever you say to me good morning with that big smile and an amazing breakfast is already waiting for me in the kitchen I feel warm inside. Whenever I see you wait for me to finish my shift just to walk back home together I feel so damn happy. Whenever you call me Jun I just want to grin like an idiot. Whenever you hold my hand I feel my stomach tense awkwardly… For the first time in my life I feel like I can be myself without any kind of masquerade. You’re the only person I’m not afraid of showing my weakness… of speaking of my fears and insecurities. You’re the only one that I can simply be me.

I was trying to refuse all these emotions because I knew what it means to play with someone’s feelings but… I can’t hide anymore. I want to give it a try… I want us to try… I’m not promising that it will definitely work out but I can assure you that I won’t let it damage this bond we have created between us. Please Toma… I’m just asking you to give me one chance… Please…”

Toma was left standing there next to the door, staring at him with his mouth half opened. He couldn’t believe his ears. He could feel the sincerity in Jun’s words but he still… he was afraid; afraid of being hurt…

“Please…” Jun’s voice trembled and Toma was fighting back a few tears that were threatening to come down his cheeks.

“I’m afraid… I love you too much to handle it when I’ll be left alone…” Toma couldn’t fight it anymore. He burst into tears, his body shaking when he felt two arms wrapping around his waist bringing him closer.

“I will never let you go Toma. You’re way too precious to me. I know that I want us to try… but we will take things slow. I promise you! Give me one chance…”

Toma held Jun tight on him; as if he was afraid of losing him. “I won’t handle it Jun… I swear it to you… I won’t…” he managed to say between his sobs.

Jun caressed his hair and gave soft pecks on the top of his head in an attempt to make him feel calmer.

“I know that… and… I believe I won’t be able to handle losing another precious person to me as well. I want to be with Toma… simple as that…” his voice was low, and it felt to Toma almost soothing as it reached his ears.

He moved his head a bit so that his eyes could meet Jun’s.

“I… lo-” Toma tried to clear his throat as a faint blush spread all over his face, making him look cute. “I love you Jun…”

Jun smiled and caressed softly his cheek before cupping them both with his hands.

“I think I love you too Toma… I really think I do…” Toma said nothing in reply and his lips curved into a small smile as he felt those tender lips back on his. It was a soft kiss; almost feather like but he could sense what Jun was telling him a few seconds ago… those feelings… there were… even if they needed time to grow properly they still were there and that was enough for Toma to ease his crazy heart beating rhythm and let go, giving all of his soul in what Jun asked him.
***
Toma pressed the button one more time. “Excuse me but how much time do we have before landing?”

The hostess smiled at him gently and replied to him. “As I told you 10 minutes ago sir, we will reach Heathrow airport in the next one hour… Would you like perhaps something to drink, to help you calm down a bit?”

Toma shook his head negatively and closed his eyes trying to imagine he was on earth. A hand came to squeeze his.

“Don’t be so nervous… we will be there soon!”

“Well I hate flying…” Toma whispered avoiding Toma’s gaze.

Jun muffled a laugh. “No need for explanation! I can see that! Though I thought you were stronger than this… you make me believe that I have a type when I always thought I didn’t…”

Toma narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know… right now you resemble so much of Ma- Aiba-kun… he was always that nervous whenever he was in an environment he was uncomfortable with…”

Toma moved a bit so that he could look at Jun properly. “I’m nothing like him! See?!” he took the magazine there was in front of his seat to read it ‘casually’ “I’m not uncomfortable, nor nervous! I’m strong! And stop thinking about him! It’s more than a year already!!!”

Jun looked at him smiling. He knew that whenever he teased him with Masaki the other would do everything to prove him wrong and he couldn’t help but find this behavior of Toma adorable. It was true that sometimes he missed Masaki but there was a quite faire time since he had missed him the way he used to. He had certainly loved him… it wasn’t that difficult anyway… how could anyone not fall for that beautiful, outside and inside, person as Masaki... but now that he had get to know Toma he could tell that with Masaki he would always feel like something was missing; something that with Toma was always there. He said nothing else and turned his gaze at the window watching the endless light blue of the sky.


“Ladies and gentlemen welcome to London. Please remain at your seats until the plane is fully stopped at a proper gate. We hope you enjoyed your flight.”

“Welcome to London Toma!”

“No… I would say welcome to your new life Jun!”
………………………………….


“I’ll start to feel jealous of the bartender! He keeps checking on you and you never fail to flash him a smile back!”

“It’s not my fault… he seems to have a good taste!” Jun continued the teasing. It was two years since the day they had said for the very first time I love you and it turned out that Toma was quite jealous; not a hysterical one but certainly one that amused Jun.

“Hmmm…. You really think high of yourself!” Toma said as he sipped a bit of his cocktail.

“Well it’s not my fault if I’m the handsome one…” Jun whispered in his ear playfully.

Toma smirked. “That’s because I never tried to present myself as available… If I wanted I could lure anyone I wanted without even trying…” he said using the most seductive tone he could. And it worked; Jun looked at him lustfully as the other smiled at him, his tongue brushing his lower lip.

“Would you like to see what I’m capable of?” Toma asked leaning closer to Jun, looking at him intensively.

“I would sure do…” Jun replied without breaking the eye contact, trying to reach for their coats and his wallet. He had to take him out of the bar that very moment.
***
Loud moans filled the room as both of them were moving completely synchronized, making the room even hotter. It didn’t take them too long to come, calling each other’s name.

“Are you…” Toma tried to speak, having Jun still inside of him “con- convinced now of my… capabilities?”

Jun looked at his boyfriend’s amazingly flushed face and pecked his nose. “Well it was pretty good… but your techniques… require some improvement…”

Toma pouted and pushed him off of him. “Fuck you…” it was almost whispered but Jun caught it.

Immediately, he wrapped his arms around Toma’s neck.

“Firstly, you wish” Toma looked at him dumbfounded and Jun just nodded. “Yes… you wish… and secondly, I was kidding… your capabilities are dangerously good… I guess I have to try my best to keep them just for me…”

Toma said nothing in response and just crashed their lips together. “It’s up to you to ensure that!” Toma winked at him and stood up from the bed. ‘I guess we should take a shower and then clean up this mess” he said pointing to the scattered on the floor clothes.

They ordered a pizza as no one was in the mood for cooking and curled up together in the sofa under Jun’s favorite purple fluffy blanket. They were watching TV, when suddenly Jun took the remote control and turned it off. Toma looked at him a little confused.

“Jun? Did something happen?”

“Toma… you know I thought of a way to ensure that these capabilities of yours we were previously talking about…”

“Wha-” Toma didn’t have the chance to finish his question.

“Marry me” there was a moment of silence. Toma was staring at Jun, feeling that his heart will crash against his ribs.

“You… you mean it?” Toma asked with a trembling voice. He was afraid that his ears had heard wrong.

“Ikuta Toma, will you marry me?” Jun’s tone was leaving no space for mistakes or fun. It was serious.

Toma had lost his voice. Once he woke up from the state of shock, he nodded softly his head before nuzzling into the other’s neck, enjoying his warmness.
……………………………………..


“Are you sure you want to go back? It’s been so many years since we left…” Toma asked his husband as he sipped his coffee. They were already working as managers in one of the largest café chains in England.

“If you don’t want to… I don’t care to go back…”

Toma smiled and sat next to Jun. “As much as I love London, your home is always your home right?”

“Then you agree?” Jun said with hope showing in his eyes.

Toma nodded. “Yes! I mean it!”

“You’re the best husband I could ever ask for!” Jun said and hugged Toma so tightly the latter thought he would faint.

“Stop it hubby… I can’t breathe!” Toma knew how Jun didn’t like it to be called like that “but we have to make a lot of preparations… and we have to search for jobs!”

Jun smirked.

Toma frowned. “I know that face… Spill it…”

“We don’t have to find jobs!” Jun said triumphantly.

“What? How?” Toma asked rather confused.

Jun brought out some papers. “Read these!”

Toma said as he was told and looked back at Jun gasping. “You managed to get subsidy for opening your own business and yet said nothing?! Nice husband!”

Jun went closer to Toma. “Well, it is for Japan… and I couldn’t present it you unless you had agreed on this…”

“Of course I would have agreed. It’s your dream… and to be completely honest I’m very fond myself of being my own boss and there’s no way you’d throw this chance away…”

“I would if you didn’t want to go back to Japan… what the hell I would do with the new business program, if I saw my lover languish slowly day by day… No thank you!” was Jun’s reply leaving Toma speechless.

“I care too much for my To!” Toma smiled widely, wrapping his hands around Jun’s neck and leaning forward to claim his husband’s lips forcefully, passionately.

“I care for my J as well!” he said once he broke the kiss.

“What do you say of opening a new café in the heart of Tokyo making everyone talking about it?”

Toma looked at Jun raising an eyebrow. “What exactly do you have in mind?”

“Simple. Create the new hot spot of Tokyo… and then perhaps open more… in Okinawa… even Sapporo… everywhere!”

“That’s quite an ambitious plan you know!”

Jun smiled and pecked Toma’s lips. “That’s because J’s in control baby!”

“And what’s the name of this super café J-sama?” asked Toma mischievously.

“MITJ” Jun said and Toma gasped at the realization of what its name meant. “I promise you… we are about to create a new little star back at home…” Jun continued caressing Toma’s hair.

“I can’t wait…” said Toma and rested his head against his husband’s chest.
…………………………………………


“Are you ready love?” Toma asked. He was already standing by the door.

“I don’t know if I look good…” Jun’s voice came from the bedroom.

“I promise you… you look perfect… in fact, there’s no way you’d look less than perfect… now hurry up! We don’t want them to wait!”
***

“JUN-CHAN!!!” an overexcited voice reached their ears as they entered the bar.

“He’s certainly energetic!” Toma commented and Jun muffled a laugh as they headed closer to them.

“Good evening everyone! Sorry for being late but Mr. Diva over here was trying to figure out what he would wear for more than an hour!”

Jun looked at Toma coldly but said nothing. He was way too nervous to be able to make an argument at the moment, though he knew that Toma made that just to calm him down.

“MatsuJun relax! You seem as if you’re about to faint… and then we can do nothing to help you… you know Masaki is a vet not a doctor… though now that I’m rethinking about it it’s probably for the best!”

“Nino-chan!” Masaki whined at his friend who would always find a way to make fun of him.

“Yes… Masaki… I know… Imagine what animals would say if they could speak!!” Nino burst into loud laughs before he received a scold from Satoshi.

“I’m sure that he will be just great! Nino’s probably jealous of that!” Jun said surprising even himself.

“Thank you ladies and gentlemen! I did it! I made Matsumoto Jun speak normally!” Nino said proudly. “I thought you would pop like a balloon!”

Jun realized what Nino had done to help him and laughed along with the others. He had missed their company. Even if he had known them for several months, they had managed to reach under his skin.
***
Time passed easily as everyone was eager to learn about their lives in the ‘exotic’ London.

“We’ll call you for next Saturday! Good night!” Sho said waving at them, soon followed by the others. 





“You seem happy…” Toma said as they were walking back to their apartment.

“I am…” replied Jun smiling and squeezed his husband’s hand. “I am…”






THE END




 A.N. Here is Junma's side story!!! I tried to make it as clear as possible!!! It took time for Jun to get over all of his problems but slowly he managed to find happiness!!! matsuaurore my dear I hope you're satisfied! I didn't leave your Jun baby suffer!!! ;)

I know I had promised you Ohmiya's side story as well but I had a problem with my laptop and as a result the new version wasn't saved and unfortunately I have to rewrite a part of it TT (it will be posted probably in Weekend though!)

To be honest, it was challenging to write Jun's OS because there were a lot of aspects unknown and unrelated to the other characters... I hope it turned out well! :)

I hope you enjoyed reading it and comments are <333!