Author: Andy-chan (antimiya88)

Part 4

The ticking noise of the alarm on the bed-side table was the only sound that could be heard in Sho’s bedroom. It had been one hour since Sho had heard the other saying those words. They had come out hesitantly… reminding him nothing of the arrogance he had been listening to from the moment the other had first spoken. There was fear reflected on them… exactly like the question that had been ghosting over the brown eyes of the other… “Should I trust you?” Sho could recognize it because it was exactly the same way he had stared at Jun back at high school; he had the same questioning gaze.

He didn’t know how many minutes he had been standing close to the door of the guest room looking at the small-figured man. The other looked fragile. At that moment, he had let the mask fall but Sho didn’t comment on it. He only kept on staring at him. Strangely, it felt as if they had said more in this silence, than if they talked out loud. Sho had only muttered a good night with a small smile. It was his way to say thank you. “Thank you for trusting me…”

“Nino…” Sho whispered, his eyes staring blankly at the dark sky outside his window. He still found it hard to believe. The unknown man that had been in his apartment for two consecutive days had, now, a name. Nino… It wasn’t a real name but it was something. Now, Sho could finally call him, like an actual human being. What mattered was that the other had decided to tell him something; even if this something was only a nickname that, for all he knew, could be fake. “Nino…” he repeated, this time, a wide smile appearing on his face. Somehow, it suited the other. Short and cute; just like him.

Sho lied down on his bed, feeling a lot more relaxed than he had been, during these past few days. He didn’t realize that he had just thought of the other as someone cute, exactly like he didn’t realize he had also thought of him as someone beautiful.

***

The next morning, Sho woke up feeling a lot more refreshed. He had slept for around seven hours straight; something that hadn’t happened in a while. After a quick shower he got out of his room and looked for the other man; Nino he thought with a smile.

“Nino, are you awake?” he asked before knocking on the door. Sho stood there for several seconds but no answer reached his ears. Is he still sleeping? he thought with a small frown. Or perhaps he doesn’t want to talk… “May I come in?” he asked after a while, trying his luck again.

“Yes.” Nino’s voice was finally heard from behind the door.

Sho pulled the door open, internally smiling that the other hadn’t locked it. Maybe things won’t be as bad as I was fearing them to… It wasn’t a surprise when he found him already been dressed up, sitting at the verge of the bed, his gaze locked on his lap. Somehow, he had been expecting this. He looked rather lost, nothing like the person he had come across yesterday, when he pulled a defensive face. Without a doubt Nino would be confused.

“Have you been up for some time, now?” Sho asked in a soft voice, not daring to come too close to the other.

Nino threw him a quick glance before he returned his gaze back to where it was. No words came out of his mouth. He didn’t show the hostility he had but didn’t show any traces of life either.

Sho sighed deeply. He knew what he had to do even if deep inside he didn’t like it. “I told you, yesterday. As a matter of fact, if you want to leave immediately, you can. I can pay you a taxi.” It was then that Sho finally gained Nino’s attention. “I realized how I must have been heard yesterday… I didn’t want to-”

Sho didn’t have the chance to finish his words.

“No. It’s… ok.” were the other’s words causing Sho to blink. It wasn’t what he had expected to hear. “I mean… taxi means more money from you and more money means more debt.” Sho was about to speak again but Nino didn’t allow him. “Even if you don’t want any, I wouldn’t accept it. For you, it may be nothing but for me, it is… too much.” He mumbled under his breath before he looked back at Sho who was standing at the same spot. “At least, here, I can… do something for you. How about I cook for you? It won’t take too long anyway. Today, I already feel much better.”

Sho smiled shaking a little his head. The other definitely had a certain way of speaking. There was a courage and a vigor in Nino that he liked. This attitude somehow seemed… genuine.

“I’m glad to know that.” He answered in all honesty.

“Yeah right…!” Nino muttered under his breath.

“But I am.” Sho said in a serious tone that left no room for doubt. “You should come to the kitchen. I’ll prepare coffee, and if you want, there’s also cereals to eat.” He added, this time, not waiting for an answer.

He got out of the room without throwing another glance to the other. But he had heard it; the gasp the moment he told him that he did care. Why was it so hard for Nino to believe someone may care?

Has he experienced so much rejection in his life?  Sho thought inevitably as he poured water into the coffee machine. The other was lonely. It was obvious. Perhaps, I could do something to-

Sho’s thoughts were interrupted when he heard a sound behind him. He turned around to see the other having got a grip of one of the chairs in the kitchen in his attempt not to fall on the ground. In a blink of the eye, Sho was by his side, slipping one hand around the small waist securing his weight on him.

“If you needed help, you had to ask for it. I could help you.” Sho whispered as he helped him to sit. “You shouldn’t be afraid of asking me. It’s what I’m here for.”

Nino said nothing. He sat mechanically on the chair Sho placed him, looking at some blank spot on the wooden table. Sho sighed but didn’t said more. He had felt how the other had stiffened at his touch. He went back to the coffee machine to fill the two mugs. The cereals were already on the table.

“Why are you like this?” the question came as Sho was holding the milk and closing the fridge door.

Sho looked at him. “I’m like… how?”

“So… kind to me.”

“Because… you’re hurt?!”

“You don’t know me.” Nino insisted on the same agonizing tone.

Sho sat by Nino’s side. “You’re Nino.” He said in a soft voice looking straight into the other’s eyes.

The other chuckled avoiding to look at Sho. “That’s not my name and you know it.”

“I know.” Sho continued in the same way. “It may be your nickname or something you came up with but it’s how you asked me to call you.”

“Yet. You don’t know me.”

“I don’t… but I’d like to get to know you.”

“Why?”

“I… don’t… kno-”

“There’s no way you don’t know. There has to be a reason.”

“I already tol-”

“No.” Nino cut him off. “Not that… No one ever goes to that extent for someone else if there’s nothing to earn for themselves… something selfish.”

“But-”

Nino turned his gaze to Sho. They were narrowed, piercing, as if they searched the truth in Sho’s ones. “Do you do all that because you want me to want to have sex with you?”

Sho blinked at the sound of the last words. “What? I thought I was clear I didn’t want to-”

“Couldn’t it be that you want to make me want it?”

Sho was left staring at the other. He couldn’t find proper words to counter the last phrase that slipped out of Nino’s mouth.

“Why are you so convinced that I want to have sex with you? Why is this the only conclusion to everything?”

“Because that’s how a man is. All the men that have approached me in the past wanted only that. They would do everything to get me there and once they got what they wanted they would leave me in a heartbeat.”

“I already told you. Every rule has its exceptions. And strangely, I’m the one in this rule of yours. I think of sex as the most intimate action two people in love can engage in. It’s something that confirms physically, if you want, their feelings for one another.”

“Bullshi-”

“If it wasn’t the case, would I have to behave like some kind of teenager?” Sho said in a low voice despite the uneasiness it brought to him that... unfortunate incident. “No.”

“But you stare!” the other insisted in a trembling voice. Once again, it was obvious that he felt he was losing ground. “I have caught you stare!”

Sho felt a knot at the back of his throat. Did he really stare?

“Perhaps, I do,” he mumbled awkwardly “...but definitely not because I want to use you the way you have implied. I just can’t stop thinking why you are in so much pain.” Hearing that, Nino made a move to get up from his chair but Sho was faster to keep him in there, placing a hand on top of his. “I’m not going to ask you why. I respect the fact that you don’t want to talk. I think I can understand you not wanting to trust easily… I didn’t trust easily back then, either. Just know that I was really happy when you told me I could call you Nino. You gave me the right to call you by a name.” Sho let out a deep sigh, lowering his head before he continued talking. “But you were right for one thing. I do have a selfish reason.”

“I knew it…” the other mumbled but sounded rather uncertain.

“I don’t know you but I want to help you. Excuse me for being selfish but for some reason, that I honestly don’t even know myself, I want to see you smile… maybe because I can see a part of my old, lost self in you.” Sho hadn’t let Nino’s hand free and noticed how the other had frozen. “Can we make a deal?” Nino didn’t speak but Sho was sure he was listening to him attentively. “I will not bring this issue again as long as you promise me something while you stay here.”

“Promise you… what?”

“Promise me that you will try not to overthink about everything and allow yourself to believe that not everyone follows the same pattern. I’m known for not following the majority’s pattern anyway. I’m criticized for it but I don’t care.”

Nino was now staring at him with an intense, unreadable gaze. “You’re weird,” he mumbled.

Sho let out a small laugh at Nino’s unexpected comment. “I know. Told you. I’m not the usual kind." Sho sighed before looking at the other, this time, being serious. "Can you, at least, try?”

The other was nibbling his lower lip for several minutes, not showing intention to answer. The small frown, Sho had noticed the previous day, was there again. After what it seemed an eternity and still not fully convinced, he softly nodded.

Sho couldn’t help but smile widely. It was obvious that the other still had his doubts but accepting to try was a good sign. “Thank you!" He meant this thank you. He felt relieved and happy; happy because the other was keen on the idea of trying. That alone was important for Sho. "But now you better eat before the coffee turns completely cold.”

The other did so without speaking again. He seemed lost in his thoughts but Sho could tell by his body language that he was calmer. He had been honest with Nino, and the latter had seen it.

Not everyone’s a jerk, Nino. I’ll make sure you realize that yourself.

***

As time was passing by, Sho could notice how the other was feeling more and more relaxed in his presence. The next day, he heard a good morning as he was opening the door to leave for work. When he came back, there was pasta waiting for him on the kitchen table. This time, he didn't eat alone. Nino was waiting for him to come back. They ate in silence but the atmosphere wasn't as heavy as Sho had felt it the previous day. It was later that night that Sho heard Nino laugh for the first time at a comedian’s joke on TV. The other was sitting on the one of the armchairs. Nino had chosen to spend more time in the living room without an explanation, and Sho didn't dare to ask him why. He didn't want him to realize he had let some of his barriers fall lower. It seemed that the other felt more relaxed and somehow, looked more alive. Now, that he heard him laughing, could tell it with certainty. Nino’s laugh had an immediate impact on him, his sides of lips curling up into a warm smile.

“You stare… again…” The words had come out not with the same accusation they had some days ago.

“Yes.” Sho replied in a gentle tone, knowing the other had caught him. “Because it’s probably the first time a laugh was heard in these walls…”

The other cleared his throat without another remark, turning his gaze back to the TV. It was obvious that he felt awkward at the moment.

Sho decided not to make things complicated now that it seemed to be better between them and got up to prepare some tea.

---

A few hours later, Sho was, once again, working on some papers in his living room. He was about to start the third report when he heard a hiss and painful moan coming from the guest room. He hurried to the room to find Nino on the floor of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and the antiseptic lotion in one hand. Sighing, he knelt and helped him sit on the edge of the bathtub.

“You shouldn’t overestimate your power. You’re getting there but still, you should be more careful!” Nino said nothing, his head hanging low. “Where you were trying to reach?” Sho asked in the same calm tone. “I’ll apply it for you.” He received a surprised gaze. It was obvious that the smaller man waited for him to comment, say something… Sho saw him biting his lower lip.

I have already seen you… he tried to tell him with his eyes, and it’s alright…

After some seconds of nerve-wracking silence, Nino pointed at his back. Sho followed his hand finally seeing a quite large cut. He frowned. Was that cut there when he had brought him back home or not? He looked at the other who was mirroring him, sadness covering his eyes. Sho smiled at him reassuringly. He couldn’t know for sure… and little did it matter. The most important thing was to show the other that he didn’t judge him. He took the lotion from Nino’s hand and a piece of gauze and applied some on the wounded skin.

“There you go.” Sho told him and placed the lotion back to its place. “I will leave you at your privacy, now.” With that, he turned to walk away when Nino spoke with a trembling voice.

“It’s not new…”

Sho looked at him for a couple of seconds before he smiled widely. “I’m really happy to know that.” He let out a small laugh when he heard the other sneezing. “But you should hurry to get dressed or you’ll catch a cold. Ok?”

“Thank you.”

Sho smiled. He could tell the other truly meant it. “Good night, Nino.”

He went back to the living room. It was around midnight when he heard steps. To his surprise, he saw Nino coming closer with a glass of milk in his right hand. Sho was left astonished. Had the other prepared it for him? Sho couldn’t think clearly seeing Nino wearing one of his silk, dark blue pajama bottoms with a white T-shirt on top. He looked so cute in Sho’s eyes, as they hanged loose on his slim body.

“It’s warm milk with honey. It’s said to be good for the night.”

Sho gulped as his fingers brushed against the other’s, the moment he took the glass. He brought it to his lips, his mouth immediately filled up with a sweetness. The other was still on the same spot, probably waiting for him to say something.

“It’s delicious, Nino. I… really appreciate it.”

“It’s… for your help… earlier…” the smaller man whispered awkwardly but Sho was sure it wasn’t just for his help. It’s for not criticizing you… he thought, as Nino continued on talking while throwing a quick glance to Sho before he returned his gaze back to the floor. “And you should not stay awake for long. You work too… much… you have dark cycles under your eyes…” the words were spoken in a whisper, almost hesitantly.

Sho blinked in surprise. Had Nino just told him he shouldn’t tire himself? Was he seeing him from so close to notice his dark cycles?  Whatever it was, he could swear that there was concern in the other’s voice. He tried to meet Nino’s eyes, to find out what the latter was thinking at the moment, but the other was avoiding him, preferring to stare at the same blank spot on the floor.

“I… promise, I… won’t…” Sho replied in the same hesitant way.

The other said nothing more. He turned his back at Sho and walked towards the guest room, softly limping, because of his ankle. Sho was left watching Nino’s slim figure as he walked away. It was then that he realized something weird. Was his heart was beating funnily during this whole time? His eyes went to the glass; his heartbeat turned even faster. The same happened when he brought Nino’s picture in his clothes to mind. Suddenly, he felt his cheeks grow hotter, almost burning. He ran to the bathroom in his bedroom and threw some cold water on his face before he looked at his idol in the mirror. His cheeks were flushed. His heart was now beating like crazy in his chest. 

“It… it can’t be…”

TO BE CONTINUED…

A.N. Sooo minna here’s chapter 4! ^_^ Nino still has his insecurities, doubts and fears but somehow, he decided to trust Sho a bit. Sho always surprises him and that seems to have a positive effect on their relationship. At least, he opened up a bit, explained some things and lowered some of his defensive walls. In this chapter, I wanted to show some domestic “fluffy” Sakumiya moments. It was such moments that made Sho - finally - realize why he has been staring Nino! ;D
We’ll see how that will affect things from now on! ;) 

I really hope you enjoyed it and as always, your comments, even the small ones, are <333!!!

See you soon,
Andy ^_^